feeling down and need to get it out..

[Boo Boo]

Lestyrox,

I am with you hun, my DH works 6 weeks overseas and then back for 2 weeks - some day's I go nuts....like today, but that is another post...it is hard isn't it? I love Bronzdbebe's ideas and might put some into practice here too. Some of the things I do to make life easier are: I have DD in childcare two days a week, I also have someone come here for three hours in the morning twice a week to give me another pair of hands and I also go out with DD for an hour and a bit so we have some one on one time that she is missing out on since DS arrived and I have joined a playgroup for the social side of things. These might not help you but just putting them out there. It is hard and I find night times the hardest, the whole dinner, bath, bed juggling act and then the loneliness as well. I find weekends are the hardest as everyone else is doing family things.....my parents are in NZ and DH's are in England...anyway hun, I know how you feel, big hugs to you. It is good to talk about these things as it seems like alot of people are in the same boat.
Laurin x

[lestyrox]

Thanks so much for the kind words and replies everyone, i think the lack of sleep was getting me down and things always seem so much worse when your sleep deprived..
From reading the posts i realise that some of you ladies have it so much worse than i do,

I'm in a similar situation, My DH is in the Army and I'm on my own alot too. I feel like a single Mum on a regular basis too. last year DH was home every night for a total of 3 months. "if the army wanted them to have wives they would have issued them"!! Come Nov this year my DH is away for 9 months to Afghanistan.

my gosh Bronzdbebe how do you cope? I find it hard when DH is away for a weekend, i can't imagine how tough it must be for you having your DH away for that long. You truly are a strong woman. Thank you for sharing your expereince and advice with me. Yes the new job would mean more travelling but i guess at least i know what its involved so i'll be a bit more prepared when he does get it.. It probably wont be for a year or so and i know how much it would mean to him to get the job, i guess sometimes in life we just have to bite our lips and bare it for the people we love.
Unfortunately i can't go with DH when he goes away on business, work pays for all his accommodation and flights but they wouldn't pay for mw and the boys and we couldn't afford to pay for it ourselves plus my boys turn into critters when we go away and they're out of routine...definitely not pretty lol.
I think you're right about DS1 acting up when DH goes away, he really puts it on for me. He's so much better behaved when DH is home, i find myslef haveing to really yell at DS1 sometimes to get him to listen to me, its horrible and i hate talking to him that way
I definitely think we need to set aside some quality time each week for just DH and me, i've talked to him about that and he's agreed to start taking his RDO's so thats a step in the right direction. He's away again tonight but i feel better knowing that he's going to try and make an effort.

If it makes you feel any better my DH tore every ligament in his foot the year before last and I was stoked because it ment he needed an operation and was layed up for 6 weeks, but at least he was home!!! LOL!! Awful i know!

Don't worry i know how you feel..whenever DH says he's feeling a bit sick i can't help hoping he'll get worse and have to take the day off...oh i'm soooo evil i know but it would be nice to have him home even if he is all sick and yucky lol.

Boo Boo thanks for your input, i've been considering putting DS1 into day care so that i can get a bit more time to myslef and more one on one time with DS2. I think he'll be ready at around 3 (6months time) so i'm looking forward to that.

I am with you hun, my DH works 6 weeks overseas and then back for 2 weeks - some day's I go nuts

Again, i don't know how you survive! i stress so much when DH goes overseas for a few days, i think i'd go nuts if he was overseas that long!

It is hard and I find night times the hardest, the whole dinner, bath, bed juggling act and then the loneliness as well. I find weekends are the hardest as everyone else is doing family things

This is exactly how i feel as well, night times are so lonely without DH not to mention crazy and stressful because both boys are tired and need me at the same time and its when a spare set of hands would really come in handy.

Thanks for sharing Diamond Girl..

My DH leaves at 7am in the morning and gets home about 6-6:30pm. He has dinner and gets on his computer and works for another 2-4 hrs, taking time out to bath the boys and put the older to bed. He is on call on weekends, and even when he takes holidays he still gets dozens of calls and emails that 'cannot wait' until he gets back to work. I do everything around the house and I feel overwhelmed as well. I am lucky if I get 1/2 to myself each day.

That must be so hard for you having your DH on call on weekends. I know what you mean about the 'Cannot wait' calls . Sometimes i wish DH would just turn his mobile off and forget about work.

alittlegrubi- thanks for the tip about the book, i'll see if i can get my hands on it.

Try to calmly "ignore" his tantrums by saying Mummy can't hear you when you are whinging, yelling etc and put a book in front of your face whilst saying it.

I've started doing this with DS1 and it seems to work. When he hit and kicks when i'm sitting beside him i'll move and say something like 'mummy doesn't want to sit next to you if you kick/hit etc'.


As for DS2 he seems to be slowly getting back to normal, last night he slept for 4hours straight so that was great. I think it must a have been a loooong growth spurt..my poor boobs have had a working out though! Its so hard when they can't tell whats wrong or what they want..i'm hoping for another good night tonight

Thanks again everyone for your help. I'ts nice to know i have support and there's plenty of other mums out there going through same thing (well not nice that they're stressed but YKWIM)

[amberj]

lestyrox, just wanted to give you big hugs and say that if you are lonely at night once the boys have gone to bed and your dh is still working, you should pop into the bellybelly chat room- saved me from lonliness many, many times!

[Bronzdbebe]

Hi Hun just thought I'd drop in and see how you were doing? Any better these days? Hope those boys are behaving for you and the away trips have been few and far between. x

[lestyrox]

Hi Bronzdbebe- thanks for caring, thats very sweet of you
Things are ok, the boys have been giving me a hard time lately (just look at my 100 other posts haha) Tobie, my 5month old is such an adorable little thing but a terrible sleeper and 5months of broken sleep is starting to take its toll. But we're surviving. Last night was good, he woke 2-3 times which i can cope with. The night before last he woke every 2hours and by morning i was in tears so the day started badly DH came home and surprised me with a coffee and roses...Gosh i love that man, even if he does drive me mad

Since i last posted here DH has given up footy to spend more time with me and the boys which has made a huge difference because now i get him home most saturdays as well as sunday. He's off to Sydney on Thursday for a few days for work so i'll be a bit sad but i know he has to go.
We're moving in 2 weeks! eeeeeeep! We're moving 4hours north for DH's work so it'll be daunting having to make friends again and settle into a new town. DH is taking 2 weeks of though so i don't mind moving so much as long as i get hime home!

I know Dh is really trying to make an effort to spend more time at home so things are better there