Thank you ladies
i am feeling better and stronger after getting it out there and your reassurances and those of my DH have helped me put everything back into perspective. She honestly thinks she's helping and i need to make it clear that i'm doing ok and while i appreciate her advice on some things, she's over stepped the mark.
It has made me look hard at myself, and realise that maybe to her i seem stressed a lot, but some of that is HER! Other people who know me away from her, think i cope well. I don't want to be the sort of parent she is, but feel she judges everything by her standards. And my Mum would say something if she thought i was in trouble and couldn't see it myself!
Any way i am feeling better about this dear one and the two who are already here, so thank you for your help