I am so incredibly lucky to have two amazing kids, DD is 3 and DS is 1, and am so grateful for my beautiful healthy little ones. Yes there are times that I struggle but I have the most overwhelming urge for one more little one to join our family.
DH is very content with our family as it is and has ruled out any more kids. He had even booked himself in for a vasectomy, which I thankfully managed to talk him out of.
I am so lucky as I have great pregnancies, labours, births and have managed to b/f both my kids so far. DH has never wanted three so it's not as if he changed his mind and left me high and dry so to speak. So I've been trying to get my head around that there will not be anymore kids and enjoy every day with my family but I just can't get over it. I just can't stop imaging another little one pottering around playing with DD and DS. Never having those overnight feeds and cuddles just you and bubba. Olive's post about the Big W catalgue hit home as I cried over the catalogue knowing I don't need to look anymore.
It's a bit crazy isn't it? So how do you handle the fact that there will be no more kids?
aww Dan I know how your feeling, my DH booked himself in too & then we had a chat whilst out chopping wood of all place's lol thats where I was when I go the call that I wasnt pregnant (we thought we were gonna have a whoopsie) and we thought it wouldnt be so bad after all.
Have you sat down and told him how you feel?
I have 3 children Dan - and I grieve no more children. My eldest is 14 and half, my youngest 3 1/2. the ache is amazing - and surprising. Some days I can settle for living vicariously through the women I know that are still having children, other days its a little harder. The answer - I have no idea. But just wanted to let you know that your not alone.
Hello, sorry to feel that you are feeling this way. Have you expressed this deep desire to your DH? Maybe he doesn't realise how much you want the third child. If you haven't already maybe you should sit down with your DH and talk openly about it putting everything on the table. That way you won't have any regrets about trying to get him to change his mind. If his answer is still no at least you know you gave it a try. I would think that in time like any grief it would fade away. I have heard many women gush about how lovely it is to have big children no longer in nappies etc etc and in time your two beautiful kids may entertain you and you would forget about your desire to have a third. I think for most women regardless of how many kids they want or have, it is sad knowing you won't cuddle a baby of your own again or see a little person walk for the first time. I am pretty sure I want to kids, yet know I'll still be sad knowing this phase of my life will be over in time. Have you come from a large family or small family and perhaps this or some other belief you have making you want a family of three kids? Just trying to help. Love Jan xox
... i too wish i could wave a magic wand and have that awlful heavy grieving feeling go away, my DD is now 4years old and the feeling still hasn't lightened which to be honest kind of shocks me that it hasn't ... As for the BigW catelogue sadly it hits me the same way but in an odd way i make myself go through it in the hope it might help disenstive me even in the smallest minute way but of course it never does
Hugs to you Dan from me during this tug-on-the heart journey
I'm the reverse. I've had a few people (midwives mostly) say "see you when you have the next baby!" but I'm kind of looking forward to getting rid of all this baby and maternity stuff cluttering the house. I'm booking the other half in for a vas at my 6 week checkup.
Where the heck do you store 4 kids? Having enough issues with 3 - 4 would be unworkable!
Rewind a year or so though ... apparently there was a good reason I hadn't got around to throwing out all the tiny baby stuff.
i'm feeling a bit the same as you atm Dan.
i just sold my bassinette as i won't ever be needing it again
sometimes i really do think #3 would be so lovely for our family
Id love to know the answer to this because it would make life right now a whole lot easier for me.
I did sell or give away all our baby things though. Ive still got a swing sitting here that I just cannot seem to part with..........but Im going to have to bite the bullet soon.
I guess I just live in hope that Dh will change his mind. I think once the boys are in school I will accept that that part of my life is over and done with because if I havent convinced DH one more is a good idea by then, its never going to happen.
How do I grieve no more kids?
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