Big - you sound totally and utterly overwhelmed.

I have had my overwhelmed moments too - over much less - and I got support through a professional parenting program. One was run by the local govt & was fantastic - a support worker came out to our house, and worked with my child one-on-one. The other one was a class run thru a commonwealth parenting centre, and this one I dragged my DH along to - they taught positive parenting strategies & lots of tips to keep one step ahead of your kids. Maybe you would find something like that useful. What area are you in?