hun, i dont have any great words of wisdom tonight, but while I was reading about your DD1 I was thinking its so the same as my DS was behaving 18 months ago, then I looked at your DD1's birthdate and she is about that same age. DS is wonderful now, can be left alone and not wreck a single thing, so its just a really hard testing stage (I actually asked my XH to take him full time at one stage, thats how much I wanted to run away)
Giant i hope things start to look up for you, i had a couple of days like that last week, i was in tears and i SCREAMED in DD1's face because if i didn't yell i was scared i was going to throw her through a wall.
It makes us feel like crap but having days/weeks like this does not make us bad mums it just makes us human, we are entitled to have feelings, get frustrated and act like crazy women.
Our kids can throw tantrums, get angry and frustrated so why can't we????
Maybe you can get the kids to sit down and 'make' you some thing to unwrap on your birthday, maybe they could design their own wrapping paper and find random household objects to 'surprise' you with.
Not only does it keep them occupied but might be just what you need without the stress of spending money!
You guys... thank you. Again. SO much. Really - THANK YOU. I'm so grateful to have a resource like BB to turn to when I'm at my lowest. Every single one of you deserves a huge hug for being there for me.
Thanks so much for sharing your own stories, it really helps me not feel like such a complete failure. Why, oh why do these kids of ours have to be SO testing? Surely the universe isn't just having a big laugh at our expense... :/ I can't wait until they grow out of it (if they ever truly do... I remember what I was like as a teenager. Oh, the joys I have yet to look forward to).
I'm feeling a lot better now that DH is home, and having read your kind responses. I'm torn between feeling glad that I'm not completely alone in feeling like this some days, and sorry that most of you are going through the same thing in your own lives.
PZ - Thanks so much, babe. I'm glad to know the offer's there I seriously can't wait until Sydney, hanging out with you is just what I need, I reckon
I know I am depressed, I've had trouble since I was about 14 and been on and off medication and in counselling periodically since my teens. At the moment I'm just fighting through it on my own with no real help... I know it's incredibly bad to say it, but I'm terrified of the weight gain that I've found is inevitable with anti-depressants, and the one counsellor who's been there since day dot and helped me through the most difficult times of my life has left town and I'm too scared to start over with someone new... it's a really big trust issue with me and I found it so hard to allow her into my life in that way even as a bratty kid who was just p*ssed at the whole world, now I feel like I have a lot more to lose and placing my trust in the 'wrong' person could be disastrous... Thankfully BB has helped me so, so much over the last couple of years, and I've managed to stay out of the deepest troughs thanks to the support I get here.
Sloane & Mishca - thanks for the suggestion, hun I would love it if I could go back to work and let DH be SAHD, but I'm not a skilled worker and he gets a pretty decent paycheck as a manual labourer (which I could never do), so we'd be in a big hole if the roles were reversed :/ I think he'd be a great SAHD and the kids love spending time with Daddy so if I had the chance, I'd go for it. We might be able to in a few years, I'm supposed to be starting studying next year so depending on how much money a qualified midwife can make, it may be on the cards later on. Thanks for throwing it out there and for your support, I really appreciate it.
fionas - Hun, you have NO IDEA what a relief it was to read your experience... thanks so much for sharing it with me. My goodness, if a superwoman like you can't get through a simple task with a toddler without it turning into a shambles, what hope do I have?! FWIW I think you're a fantastic mum I hope that doesn't sound insensitive of me but it does make me feel a bit better to know that my difficulty in coping some days is NOT purely a symptom of being a generally useless human being...
LizJessie - Oh hun, I saw that comment on your FB and wanted to lay some smackdown on your behalf - I know EXACTLY how you feel and I felt awful that someone thought it was okay to talk down to you for it, instead of offering their support Big, big hugs to you hun, thanks for your reply, I know we're on the same page... it is SO hard sometimes and sleep deprivation is the worst form of torture... I know lots of parents are jealous of me because my two are pretty much perfect sleepers, but when they're not asleep they're being feral... I guess it goes both ways :/ *hugs* to you.
JustMe - feel free to hijack away, hun If we can't talk about it here, where can we? I feel so bad for you that you're in the same boat babe, just know that I'd be there in a heartbeat if I could to help out... get the little monsters together and let them go nuts while we relax over a coffee! I totally agree about the mess, and the food, and feeling like a slave, and OMG THE TOILET PAPER HERE TOO! I think I have a big string of it stuck to my heel right now, actually :/ *hugs* Thanks so much for sharing, babe. I really hope you can get a break when you need it, too. x
Every single one of you - thank you so, so, so much. Huge hugs all round from me. I showed DH my post when he got home from work so he could actually 'listen' to how I'm feeling... when I talk to him, he hears me but I think he gets preoccupied with how HE feels after working all week and thinks, 'Oh, like you have it hard, you sit around in your pj's all day'. He's organised my mum to watch the kids for a couple of hours on Sunday evening so he can take me to the movies (Gold Class, even! My first time ever!) for my birthday, which will be almost as good as having a present to actually unwrap, and mum's watching the kids tomorrow morning so we can go shopping to get my laybys out and get a couple of other things for my birthday. So, a few kid-free hours, it's a start - I'll keep working on it. I think this is just what I need... but MORE of it lol. Oh well, baby steps
I want every one of you to know how much I am humbled by your support... how grateful I am for you sharing your stories and extending your sympathy when I need it most. How much I wish each of you the same as you wish me - a break, some time to recharge, the kids to behave, etc etc. For the text messages, the PMs, the FB messages... thank you so much. BB is literally saving my life, I cannot thank you all enough for reaching out and holding me up when I'm not sure I can keep going.
xoxo
Go your DH!!! It's great that you have something special to look forward to on Sunday night. A few kid free hours with DH ... sounds great!!! I hope you have a wonderful night.
Mate, it's Shambles Central here most of the time I've gone from having civilised work discussions about the usability of websites to scrambling around the bathroom with my knickers half-up, half-down and screaming at DD "FFS JUST LET ME DO A POO IN PEACE." Not my best mummy moment
I'm so glad you've got some kid-free time on the weekend and hope you have a fabbo time. The trick is then planning and scheduling for it. Easier said than done I know but really well worth it.
Wow your post made me feel sorry for you, it also made me feel a little relieved... I can relate to what you have written and I could have written it myself on many occasions. Thank you for being so open and honest. You are incredibly brave to put yourself out there like that. I wish I lived closer to you, I would offer to be a babysitter for you
Just thought I would say a few things....
My house is messy 99.9% of the time.... Pig stye! The only time it is clean and stays clean for any significant amount of time is if I clean after the kids go to bed, while they are at school/daycare or if I clean and then we go out for the day. Otherwise it will be messy within 5 minutes lol....
A rule of thumb..... If you spend all day cleaning your house and it actually feels, smells and looks good...... no one else will see it. No one will call up and offer to come over for a coffe, no one will turn up at your doorstep unannounced..... but..... if your house is total chaos...... someone will turn up at your doorstep unannounced. lol..... How many of you reading this are laughing saying "OMG so true" hee hee....
On another note..... My DD2 is now nearly 6, but when she was younger she was into everything your DD is into. Drove me mental. A friend told me about these little covers you can buy that just slip over your door handles.... they are kiddy proof. I put them all over the house... the best thing was that I could also put one on the inside of her bedroom door, so I could finally put her to bed and shut the door, she couldn't come out. For about 2 weeks she threw the biggest tantrum, kicked the door, cupboard, walls, threw things around her room, stripped her bed, broke a photo frame (plastic not glass window thank goodness!).... but she soon learned to stay in her room. Before that she would be up until 1 or 2 in the morning still insisting on her "I not tiwed mummeeeeeeeeeee..... waaaaahhhhhh" lol...... To keep myself sane ish' while she screamed the house down for hours (yes she is stubborn) I called up a friend each night to keep me distracted (and to stop me from killing her lol) until she had literally exhausted herself and fallen asleep.
They didn't cost much but I would have paid tripple the amount.... they were soooooo worth it! Finally she was not getting into my bedroom spilling perfume onto the floor or drawing on the carpet with my lipstick (was a rental home eeek). I could also lock myself in my room if I needed some time away. You can buy these at BigW, Target,Kmart and the baby stored. They are fantastic.
Also, for the backyard.... are you able to padlock the fence shut so she can't run away?
Hope some of my experiences are helpful to you too.
OMG Donna I can so relate to everything you have been through. Having the 5 kidlets means my life is never my own or easy. My house is constantly a mess and my family never come to visit because of this (could I be doing this sub consciously lol). While I have family fairly close by we are not close so I have no support there. My DF, luckily, is very aware of what DD2 is like and how I really try to clean the house but can never finish. He hates the mess but understands.
I have arranged to go away next weekend (surprise surprise) with my mum and we are going to have a ladies couple of days. My DS's are at their dads for the whole week, DF will mind the girls and I will not think of them for the whole time I'm away. I'm not sure if I will go home lol.
It sounds like your DH is stepping up after reading how hard this has been for you. Try to organise some time just for you on the weekends. Let DH take the girls for a couple of hours and give yourself some much needed time out.
I would be taking your DD to the doctor to get a referral to a specialist. If you seriously think that there is something wrong then get it checked. She might be suffering from ODD or ADD. It may just be a stage she is going through too but it would ease your mind to get it checked.
A huge hug to you as I have been and am still going through this stage.
Fionas, I had to laugh out loud at your toilet thing as that happens here all the time. I can't even lock the bathroom door as we are renovating and we still have the old door on and it is falling apart. AAAArrrrrrggghhhh what I wouldn't give to pee in peace lol.
Sorry to hijack a serious thread Donna and I hope you don't mind but just to briefly add to the toilet story...
it really didn't help that I'd been constipated for days, suddenly there was movement at the station and relief would have been mine with 10 seconds of final effort. DD chose that precise moment to 'help' by grabbing toilet paper and trying to wipe my bum. Complete dilemma of finishing the job with unpleasant results for DD or trying to get her out of there, hence running around bathroom with knickers half up, half down.
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i hope things start to look up for you, i had a couple of days like that last week, i was in tears and i SCREAMED in DD1's face because if i didn't yell i was scared i was going to throw her through a wall.
I seriously can't wait until Sydney, hanging out with you is just what I need, I reckon 
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