Thanks everyone for the support, the last couple of days have been really tough & I've realised I may have post natal depression.
The self harming thoughts just keep repeating themselves & there have definitely been times I have wanted to hurt the kids too.
Sometimes a complete breakdown can help you see things more clearly :{
Going to the GP on Wednesday, have got some phone numbers to ring tomorrow & have finally shared a lot of stuff with my beautiful partner & my besties.
Hopefully it only gets better from here.