It sounds like you've had a real hard time of things recently and I wish I could offer you some advise to make it all seem better.

Sleep deprivation is something I can relate to and I know everything seems out of control without sleep. DD1 was a very difficult to settle child, but it did get better and now she is a great sleeper. I always feel like I was coming out of a haze when I actually started getting sleep.

Just remember, you are a great, loving and caring mother. You will get through this and your boys love you.