Night 353 and I'm about to expire....

[~Kim~]

Amen Anna, that's so true.

[Shanti]

Oh hun HUGE HUGS...... the first part of your post I can definitely relate with!!! DD is a shocking sleeper too at night (her day sleeps are pretty good these days but never used to be!).....

DD also HATES her cot and rarely sleeps in it. Day and night she is in our bed... we put pillows all around the bed and on the floor incase she decides to crawl/roll off the bed.... but we don't have the choice not to leave her there because she hates her cot too. (I always worry she'll fall out of bed but i guess thats a risk we have to take to get her some sleep!)
'Sometimes' she will have a day sleep in the cot, but rarely. It's a miracle when she does!!
DD wakes every 2hrs on average every night and we haven't had more than 3hrs sleep in a row in probably 4mths so I know exactly how you feel......
If she wakes during the night she needs boob to get her back to sleep and screams at me if I don't give it to her.... I try water but she just wants boob. Comfort sucking mainly.
Not actually drinking milk. I am looking at starting her on night weaning soon as I've had enough of no sleep at night time.
DD is generally an unsettled bub too and teething makes her even more extreme!

I know how you feel when you say you don't like evenings because you know you aren't going to get much sleep and it's going to be a struggle to get your DS to sleep... that's how I feel sometimes. It is hard when you put in the effort and they don't want to sleep time after time after time when you hear of other people's babies just drifting off to sleep every night and for up to 10hrs or so... doesn't seem fair on us does it??
My DD is asleep at the moment in bed with DH and I should go in too but I know that when i go into bed and start falling asleep she will no doubt wake me so I find it hard going to sleep these days.... I bet you feel that way too??

I find with our bedtime routine, after dinner, bath, boob, books.... I turn off the lights and lie down on our bed with DD in darkness, quietness, no talking and I have to wait til she stops rolling/crawling/kicking/talking/moving etc..... and after about 20-30mins sometimes less she will go to sleep. But then she might wake again few mins later so i'm back in again settling her and sometimes have to go back in again a few times like tonight we did. Other nights she isn't too bad. I'm guessing you've tried lying down to get him to sleep.....

My DD has always been quite clingy too and has had separation anxiety BADLY since 8mths when her sleep went down hill.... she won't settle easily for DH either. She'll scream and scream until I hold her even though i'm right next to her. It's alot of pressure on us Mum's isn't it?

Just letting you know you aren't alone. It must be hard for you though having 2 kids to look after and your DH isn't on the same page as you in terms of parenting styles. That must be very hard. Hoping things turn around for you soon hun..........hang in there.

I've always found with this parenting thing... when i feel like I'm right on the edge like I can't take any more of the sleepless nights etc.... things turn around a bit and I find new ways of coping.... hoping you can do this too my friend.

xoxoxo

[~Kim~]

Ren you're right about the edge and turning a corner....here's hoping eh?
Tha'ts exactly the way I feel at bedtime (now is a good example).

Funny DS seems to know where the edge of the bed is. He doesn't roll off no matter how precarious he gets lol.
I have tried laying down but for some reason he takes that as a cue to play....even though the only time he's in bed is to be asleep.

Thankyou my love. I hope your DD figures it out soon too.

[Shanti]

Ren you're right about the edge and turning a corner....here's hoping eh?
Tha'ts exactly the way I feel at bedtime (now is a good example).

Funny DS seems to know where the edge of the bed is. He doesn't roll off no matter how precarious he gets lol.
I have tried laying down but for some reason he takes that as a cue to play....even though the only time he's in bed is to be asleep.

Thankyou my love. I hope your DD figures it out soon too.

Have you been consistent every night with the lying down thing? I started doing this when DD turned 11mths as the feeding to sleep thing wasn't happening anymore (for that bedtime period anyway)..... it was either lie down with her until she fell asleep OR leave her to scream cos' I refuse to walk halls rocking or patting as she is too heavy now and she just arches her back and screams anyway and fights me. (she's a fighter too - very strong willed!!). Sooooo every night and most of her day sleeps to, I spend time lying with her.... this seems to work for alot of babies this age I believe.
If she wants to muck around and blow raspberries on my tummy (which is pretty cute) but its sleep time, i let her know after 20mins if she hasnt' calmed down i say "it's time to sleep now im going to leave the room so you can sleep. good night" and she might crack up.... sit up and sit there crying on the edge of the bed (she seems to know its the edge of the bed too and wont move forward either) i leave her for say 1-2mins then i go back in, lie her down, and i dont lie back down with her... instead, i kneel on the floor next to her and put my head on a pillow thats next to her (the pillow is positioned between her and the edge of bed) and close my eyes next to her head and she sees me sleeping (just like when we are asleep together co sleeping) and then she realises 'oh ok mummy is serious' and quite often this seems to work and soon enough she will drift off and i walk out once she is asleep..... lately i've started leaving the room sooner and not going in as much when she calls out and she seems to be getting it.... over the course of a few weeks. its gentle parenting and she is not left to scream or cry it out.
and she knows im there for her.
Try that maybe? I hope it makes sense.

[Just Me]

I know the stress and emotional strain of a baby that won't sleep night after night after night, but I really feel for what you are going through. You deserve an award for managing that for nearly an entire year!!! I felt I deserved saint status after 4 months. You are amazing!!!

[CrazyLady]

I have been eliminating food by food from Charlie's diet and I came to the conclusion it was a preservative in BREAD that was the issue....... Don't keep anything but Brumbry's bread in the house now and she's chilled.

Huge hugs to the sleep dep hun... it's like being drunk without the buzz hey?

[Inertia]

In many ways, I can totally relate.

Phoebe is an Awesome sleeper at night - unless I am silly enough to do something incredibly inconsiderate like get out of bed. Mummy and the boobie mooks are the only two things in this world that she will go to sleep with. She'll sleep on my chest for hours but only a few minutes if I walk away. When she falls asleep on me, if i try to put her down she wakes up the second her back touches the bed and starts crying. Even my tried and true trick of putting one of my mummy smelling clothes next to or near her doesn't work. She knows the difference.

Basically - I have no answers, but I can feel your pain.

Seems to be a common thread around here these days though. Think the babies know something we dont? LOL

[thepixie]

big Kim, DD wasn't as bad but she went through the worst period between 10-13 months. I was a complete zombie. I think that it's actually a really bad time for sleep, there is so much development and so many milestones going on, and of course by then people think bubba should have been sleeping through from 8 weeks so they are totally unsympathetic
So no advice from me (the other girls have offered plenty of that) just some hugs and a reminder that it will pass!

[*Infinity*]

Kim, I just wanted to offer you lots of hugs. You sound like you need a whole lot of them, plus a break too sounds like you've had a really tough first year with your little man.

I don't really have any practical suggestions, it sounds like you've probably tried anything & everything. And I'm sorry to hear that your DH isn't on the same page as you. It makes it even tougher.

You know we're all here for you x

[Ilithyia]

Hi Kim,

Sorry to hear your having a hard time hun!

Neither of my girls sleep through yet. Sometime we have a good night where they will sleep through but most of the time at least 1 of them wakes up. Briley is the worst. She is notorious for chucking tantrums for no apparent reason in the middle of the night. Its very frustrating.

Have you thought about taking the little guy to the Chiro?

I have heard stories of babies becoming a different person after visiting the chiro.

I have often thought of doing this myself but never have. With Briley's tanties at an all time high I might have to take some of my own advice!

I hope you find a solution soon hun. Sleep deprivation is a bad thing!

Sending loads of hugs your way hun!
x

[Astrid]

Failsafe is quite nutritious, so don't be scared off about that. I have come across many mum's who have found improvement from it. Even just cutting out dairy and soy has been enough for them to have significant improvement in their child. Also they often feel much better in themselves for it.

From my experience I found that no matter how consistent you are if there is something else going on, it won't really work. I had one time with DD1 that we both got gastro, so really did not eat for quite few days. After that she was such a changed child, she was, for want of a better term, an angel child. She ate more, wanted boobie less, the sleep rituals finally worked! Then we started eating again and then bam, back to what she was. I am sure with her that she could tolerate most foods in small doses, but if she had too much of something, then she was hard to deal with.

[~Kim~]

Gee that fact that so many of you are suffering from 'acute lack of personal space' as well, makes me feel a bit normal.

Shanti, you are right. I actually used that technique with DD with great success. Thanks for making me remember. I guess in the despeeration my brain just isn't working properly.

Just me, thankyuo hun. This is actually my second one that's this bad. I'm up to nearly four years of it lol. Finally got #1 sleeping and #2 came along.

Astrid, how do you go about figuring out what is the prob? I was actually 'cleaning out' DD's diet (she is such a hyperhead), so I guess I really need to get serious about it for all of us.

[Astrid]

If you follow Failsafe or the one that is from one of the Children's hospitals, it should tell you what to do. Basically you cut back to the safe foods for a certain amount of time, then you do challenges where a suspect food or food type is reintroduced and any changes noted. It is always a good idea to do anything like this in conjunction with a Dr, or at least have a chat to an understanding one before hand.

You can pick up the Sue Dengate books, or just go off her website. There is also another book out now to do with Colic and it looks at all the other reasons that a baby could be having problems with crying and sleeping rather than just blaming colic. I think Mother's Direct is now selling it. It maybe helpful as well.

Just remembered have you tried anything like Braurs Calm? I found it helpful on occasions and I know others have found it has helped a lot.

[kawazuki]

oh it sounds liek your having a tough time..

no advice sorry, but i couldnt read and not send hugs your way..

[Olive]

kim have been thinking, have you had him checked by a Dr?? we;ve had ongoing issues with ear infections and fluid behind the ear drums.

twice before christmas i was sure DD2 had an ear infection so took her to a bulk billing clinic (big big regret) the said no infection, i then took her to my normal dr a few weeks back, she had fluid behind both drums, i think she has had for sometime treatment was panadol and dimetapp for 1-2 weeks at night due to pain when laying down and to clear up the fluid, it cleared up and we are finally (as in the past few nights) seeing an improvemnt in sleep, it may be a coincidence but it well worth getting him checked over