I stupidly tried to wean myself cold turkey off my PND meds. I was okay for 2 days, just to turn into a real witch by day 3 (yesterday). I had the worst day. I just snapped at everyone, I wanted to cry all the time and I was absolutely AWFUL with DS (16 months). I had no patience with him and by 2pm I asked DH to just take him out of the house as I couldn't cope anymore.
It was at this stage that I realised my behaviour wasn't normal and that I was feeling like this because of withdrawal. I promptly took my meds and decided to rather speak to my Dr (which I probably should have done in the first place) to help me stop them.
But I still feel awful & guilty about how I was yesterday. Every time DS looks at me it feels like he doesn't want me as his mum because I was so nasty to him. I love this little boy with everything in my being and I don't know how to make this up to him. How do I let go of the guilt? How do I fix this?
Oh sweetie, don't feel bad. Your DS is just confused, he loves you so much. I sometimes smacked DS's bum when he was really little (he always wore a nappy but still ) when I was losing the plot and wasn't coping that well, as he just kept crying, but then he'd look at me with these little beedy eyes and I would feel so guilty too, but his look was of unconditional love (more guilt). Keep taking your meds & go see your doc. Sometimes we just have those days but it's good to recognise when you need some help or a breather. Big hugs lovely
your DS probably just sensed that you weren't yourself & was worried. you did the right thing because you recognised that you weren't feeling right & you've taken steps to rectify it. letting go of the guilt is the best thing you can do for him - don't waste your emotional energy on something that has been & gone (you identified there was a problem & you're working on a plan). tell him you're sorry you weren't yourself yesterday if you want to, but just give him lots of extra cuddles. i'm sure he knows how much you love him & he loves you equally as much
When I've been behaving badly to my kids, I apologise & explain to them why I behaving that way. Then give them a big cuddle. Even if they don't understand completely, they do take it in. Now when I'm upset, DS comes to me & gives me a hug & says "you okaaaaay, Mummy?"
You've done the right thing in taking your meds again & going to the dr. Your little boy will still love you just as much.
Letting go of the guilt
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) when I was losing the plot and wasn't coping that well, as he just kept crying, but then he'd look at me with these little beedy eyes and I would feel so guilty too, but his look was of unconditional love (more guilt). Keep taking your meds & go see your doc. Sometimes we just have those days but it's good to recognise when you need some help or a breather. Big hugs lovely
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