J and me were eagerly waiting to move into our first house together...and also celebrating being 4 months pg with out first baby.

tonight he tell's me that he's going to be double didgit's and how scared he is of growing up. He is such a gentle kind kid. He melts my heart big time with some of the things that come out of his mouth.

I feel that in the past due to stress and my stupid temper I have been terrible to him. He has been the brunt of so much sadness, anger and crap. Yet he stood and took it without ever complaining or making it worse.

Ive often felt to arm's wrap around me when Ive gone for my own when Wilhelm has had one of his episodes, and cried with me ive needed it the most.

I owe him so much.

We've spoken quiet a bit lately, about how angry I was years ago and how that it was no excuse to take it out on him. He know's Ive gotten help, cleared my mind of the negetive and only look for the positive now. Nightly chat's have become our thing when we can reflect of things that annoy us together.

I know it doesnt make up for the past years of sadness but im trying to make the future ones more uplifting and special for us. I really want to have a special relationship with him, not just be his mum but his friend aswell.

Here's a pic I have to share with you all of him
Maryan 'maz' Bourke's Photos | Facebook
I could just cry when I look at it....I still see the little boy who use to hide behind the curtains to say BOO when i walked past in it.
I love you doodle...to the moon and back.