*hugs* It is so hard having someone else in the house during the babymoon. When everyone is getting used to life changing a bit & just want to enjoy time together. I don't know what to say too much, so I hope I don't offend in anyway...

First of all, you are such an amazing parent! To be able to separate your feelings towards what your mother is doing & focus on your children is so fantastic! I have a really hard time with that when someone says something that gets me angry or is judgemental towards me.

I've had similar issues with me not feeling comfortable with comments made by my IL's or by my mother. Matilda is a bit young to really take it all in, but I know she reacts to me feeling anxious or angry. MIL makes comments in front of Matilda about her behaviour and my parenting and DH has had to ask her to stop before. I find as soon as she leaves I want to let it all out & get all my grievences out so I don't carry them around. So I do the same thing you do, and will now think twice about it!

Maybe you & your DH could sit down with your daughter when your mother leaves & discuss what you were feeling (uncomfortable, etc...) and what responses to feeling that way are acceptable and still respectful of our elders. I'm not entirely sure, but I think your DD sounds pretty cluey & is doing what comes natural and that is to protect her family in everything & find security with the family. So in learning how to deal better next time & have some "plans of escape" in place. So if she feels that your mother is being tough or not nice, she may ask to be excused to do something else & you know that is her letting you know how she feels.... or give her a safe way to air her feelings without being disrespectful. (easier said than done....) Like saying, when Grandma was young, she was taught to do these things by watching others do them, today its different and we want to show everyone respect.