Smug & Crap

[Rouge]

I got this idea from a friend who is reading "MamaMia" by Mia Freedman.

So what is on your list of things you are most proud of and things you are not so much as a parent... Here's mine:

Smug

1. I taught my children to self settle without Crying It Out.
2. I breastfed my son till 12 months
3. I realised when the LC told me that it was best to switch to formula she was right - and eventually I was ok with that.
4. I have always talked to my children about their emotions and mine.
5. I have never smacked my kids
6. DD did Ballet & Swimming before she started Kinder
7. I chose a school for my children that follows my parenting style.
8. I am responsible for the way I react to their behaviour. And they know this. If I yell I have to apologise and it's up to me to reassure them if they are hurt by my reaction. In turn this has shown them they too have to be responsible for their own reactions and they also like to reassure and show affection when they have hurt others through their reactions.
9. As siblings my children do not be violent towards each other. They do not swear or try to hurt each other with words.
10. I have taught my children to have good manners.
11. I like that we have special time. After a bad day I might wake them up and we'll have cuddles in my bed with a hot chocolate or hot milk and honey and we'll reflect on the day and end the day on a happier note.
12. I/DH read to DD every night until she could read to herself.
13. I have protected my children from toxic people even if it means family.
14. I try to be consistant and parent at all times even if I'm tired or sick.
15. My kids prefer sushi/sashimi over McDonalds or junk take out.
16. My children have never had coke, and they think it's evil LOL!

Crap

1. At 4 days old we tried to CIO our DD thinking thats what we had to do so she wouldn't "wrap us round her little finger". It lasted one day... and never happened again.
2. I put rice cereal in DD's bottle as I was told it would help her sleep.
3. Screaming at my kids. Even though I don't smack I think yelling can be just as damaging and painful to a child as any smack. And even though I'm working on this I'm still not perfect.
4. I was impatient with my first pregnancy. I wonder if I had not gone to the hospital because I wanted any reason to give birth, that maybe I wouldn't have ended up with a c/s. I wish I had researched birth as much as I had with DS and that I had the patience and calm I had with his pregnancy.
5. DS has never done any extra curricular activities.
6. I hate pretend play. I feel I don't play enough with my kids. But honestly I'd rather go through sleep deprivation again than do pretend play. It's my own personal hell. I feel bad because I'm always thinking about what I could be doing instead. So in turn I try and pick activites to do with them that I'll enjoy instead of what I know they want to do.
7. In most cases my children self regulate their tv, technology time. I feel like because of this they don't play with their toys as much as other kids.
8. I have been known to give my kids 2 minute noodles for dinner. And then once they are in bed order thai or indian and justify it because they wouldn't eat it as it has Chilli in it.
9. I don't care about sugars, numbers or additives. I know I am lucky to have children who don't get sugar highs or are allergic to preservatives but I feel bad I don't take more of a conscious effort to minimise this.
10. I hate the memories I have of getting angry with my children because as babies they didn't sleep.
11. I haven't read hardly as much to DS as I did to DD.
12. Sometimes I rush bedtime because I know I'll have some free time. Then 15 minutes later I'll realise how crappy that was and want to wake them up for cuddles.
13. The broken promises of "We'll go to the park today" "I'll get you a new xxx next week" etc etc
14. Toast for dinner.
15. Not acknowledging my own PND with DD and in turn suffering and knowing that she probably suffered too.
16. Being messy or lazy at times and still expecting the kids to keep their rooms tidy.
17. Letting the kids get up before us and watching TV with a snack from the snackbox so we can get an extra 30 minutes sleep.
18. I don't walk to school enough.
19. I don't have playdates here enough.
20. Some days I might spend all morning on the phone instead of spending quality time with DS.

I'll add to this list probably as I see other people's lists that are the same as mine LOL!

Now just as a disclaimer these are things I think are good or crap for me... this does not mean that I am judging anyone else for their choices just as I'm sure there will be things that I think are good that other's may not. These lists are our own personal lists. They are not meant to be compared negatively.

[sneakysparkle]

Great idea Rouge!

SMUG

* I stuck with my plan and had drug free labours with both girls
* Neither of my girls have ever cried themselves to sleep (without me holding them!)
* DD#1 would prefer sushi over donuts, and salad over hot chips!
* DD#2 has never had chocolate or lollies, and DD#1 didnt until her second birthday!
* I try to put the girls needs before my own wants
* DD#1 was breastfed till she was 14mths old, I'm still bf-ing DD#2 at 12mths
* DD#1 was toilet trained not long after her 2nd bday

CRAP

* Ive never done kindermusic/gym or swimming lessons with them
* I put DD#1 in the pram more than I let her walk at the shopping centre
* I don't do enough fun/creative stuff with the girls at home (painting/craft etc)
* I've hardly read to DD#2 - whereas I read to DD#1 from day 1!
* Raisin toast for lunch or dinner
* I put a DVD on so I can sit on the net sometimes
* I haven't even thought about kindy for DD#1 yet
* not keeping my cool all the time. I scream sometimes

[BhoysGirl]

I love your list, both the Smug & the Crap .

Here's mine:

Smug

1.I'm still BFing DS, even though it now hurts like crazy for the 1st minute or so due to preggie bbs. Smug, cos I was just aiming for 12 months
2.I've resisted all pressure to succumb to controlled crying, even though DS still doesn't sleep through the night
3.I didn't let outside pressure worry me about DS's lack of interest in solids before 12-13 months
4.I cuddle & kiss DS all the time, and he is a really affectionate kid back
5.I read lots of books to DS* (but see Crap list Item 1)
6.I cook plenty of vegies for DS, and don't stress when he doesn't eat them cos I figure he eventually will
7.DS doesn't know what McDonalds is - or KFC, or HJ etc
8.I always say sorry when I've reacted inappropriately
9.I spend lots of time just playing with him, and letting him lead the games
10.Virtually no chocolate, lollies or biscuits have crossed his lips, only on really special treat occasions. And he doesn't even like them that much.
11.I can mostly tell the difference between an "emotional" tantrum & a power tantrum, and I don't give in to the power trips.
12.Teaching DS to say hello & goodbye to people, even if he does say "goodbye Man/Lady"
13.Listening with interest to all his stories & observations. Being excited about the things that make him excited.
14. I rarely get stressed about any mess he creates, we either clean it up together, or I do it when he goes to bed.


Crap.

1.*I hid the set of Thomas books, so I get a break from reading them all the time
2.I let DS watch Thomas/WotWots/Night Garden most afternoons for an hour or so, mostly when I'm too tired to fight the constant nagging for them.
3.Sometimes I get really angry in the middle of the night, when I'm up for the 15th time, and he still isn't going to sleep.
4.Baked beans are my fall-back meal. I jazz them up with sausages if I'm feeling creative
5.I've fallen off the wholegrain bread wagon, now he mostly gets white bread cos that's what I like
6.Vegemite Sandwiches for dinner if he hasn't eaten anything else
7.I haven't started swimming lessons for him
8.All the other future ways I'm bound to ruin his life & make him emotionally stunted..
9.Not feeling as excited about No 2 as I was with DS, although this is possible due to feeling way more tired all the time.
10.Worrying how I'm going to possibly love & nurture no 2 in the same way that I've been able to with DS. Poor 2nd kid.

[skybie]

i think this is really great!

Smug
1. i havent given into pressure to give DD2 formula yet
2.DD1 is using the toilet without being pressured
3. i dont yell at DD1 when she has an accident(like some ppl told me i should)
4.DD1 always has weetbix and museli for breakfast
5.DD1 doesnt know what softdrink is
6.dd1 would rather a banana over lollies-most days
7.DD1 has never had a screaming fit when i drop her off at day care
8.DD1 has impecable manners, something i'm very very proud of
9. it doesnt bother me that my girls might be 'behind' in their developments at points in their lives
10. DD1's transition into big sister went incredibly well

Crap
1. i sometimes use the telly as a babysitter
2. bribing to get DD1 to do something
3. yelling at DD1 purely because i cant be bothered with her
4. not giving DD1 enough of my time and playing with her as much as possible
5. DD1 knows exactly what mc d's and all other takeaways are
6. DD1 has been known to repeat dirty words
7. Putting a toy box into DD1's room so she could get up and play so we could get more of a sleep in
8. Readily palming DD1 off to the grandparents so we can have some peace and quiet, then feeling guilty and wanting her back.
9. Closing the door on DD1 when she's crying inconsolobly(sp?) in bed, instead of sitting with her and working out why she's crying

[rhyb]

Posting to subscribe. Im on my way out soon and this will take me forever

[BellyBelly]

You dont need to post to subscribe You subscribe in the thread tools! If you can do that it will help keep the thread free of clutter

[Astrolady]

hmmm can't think of to much "smug" plenty of "crap" though LOL

Smug
1. Lachlan is on "Green words" at school almost to "Orange" surpassing even some grade 1 students I know. He is only in reception.
2. Lachlan does so well at school that if he wasn't already going into Grade 1 next year, the teacher was going to put in a request for him to move to Grade 1 as he would find doing reception again boring. She is already giving him some Grade 1 work as he completes Reception work to fast.
3. Was proud of my achievement of breastfeeding Ashton for 8mths.
4. Having a drug free labour with Ashton, and knowing afterwards it was the best labour out of all

Crap
1. Yelling at the kids. Usually every morning prior to school, and usually at Lachlan who is always to busy doing "other stuff" to get ready
2. Forgetting to make sure Kameron does his homework.
3. Not reading to my kids enough at home
4. Not reading to Kameron at all in school, now that Lachlan has started.
5. Having to drop my kids off at the gate for the next 5 mths, so I can pick up another Mum's kids as well (don't all fit in one car inc a 7 seater -- Long story). I go back but only get time to sort Lachlan out.
6. Not having any kids interested in activities outside of school ie. football/cricket/swimming etc
7. Knowing Kameron wants a Nitendo DS for Christmas as all his other friends have one, and knowing Kameron will be disappointed Christmas morning when he doesn't' get one.

[Talia*L]

What a great thread! I just wanted to say thank you to those contributing - as a mother-to-be, I cannot tell you how wonderful and helpful it is to read these lists. I worry so much about whether I am going to be a 'good mother' and I see now that ultimately, you can be a fantastic mother and still stuff up heaps along the way.

So far I am smug about avoiding all alcohol, passive smoke and about our decision to HB. I am feeling crap about my inability to resist sushi (my main food group pre-preg) and about not doing ANY exercise. At all.