This is a vent, pure and simple...

I just feel that its all too tough for me. That I am conquered by a tiny baby. I know these are irrational thoughts, but I honestly feel like everything I do is wrong.

I had a mothers group thing today on sleep, and everyone was talking about their babies sleeping habits, and the process of putting baby to sleep in its cot, rather than forming sleep associations. Most of their babies are tiny, and I just want to rewind to when my baby was tiny and just start again. She was a great sleeper to begin with, but I had issues with putting her in her cot, so I let her sleep in my arms always. Fast forward 10 weeks and she is a nightmare to put to sleep. Now she won't sleep unless it is in my arms...

I feel like everyone is saying "I told you so" when I describe my issue, and that I should have put her to sleep by herself from the beginning. I had an issue though with putting her down...almost like I wasn't confident enough to do it...or that my baby needs ME all the time.

Honestly, what is wrong with me???? I feel reduced to a speck of the person I used to be.

I want to solve this issue, but I CANNOT bear to hear her cry...

I feel like I am the problem, not her, and if I was stronger, I wouldn't be in the state I am now.