I just feel that its all too tough for me. That I am conquered by a tiny baby. I know these are irrational thoughts, but I honestly feel like everything I do is wrong.
I had a mothers group thing today on sleep, and everyone was talking about their babies sleeping habits, and the process of putting baby to sleep in its cot, rather than forming sleep associations. Most of their babies are tiny, and I just want to rewind to when my baby was tiny and just start again. She was a great sleeper to begin with, but I had issues with putting her in her cot, so I let her sleep in my arms always. Fast forward 10 weeks and she is a nightmare to put to sleep. Now she won't sleep unless it is in my arms...
I feel like everyone is saying "I told you so" when I describe my issue, and that I should have put her to sleep by herself from the beginning. I had an issue though with putting her down...almost like I wasn't confident enough to do it...or that my baby needs ME all the time.
Honestly, what is wrong with me???? I feel reduced to a speck of the person I used to be.
I want to solve this issue, but I CANNOT bear to hear her cry...
I feel like I am the problem, not her, and if I was stronger, I wouldn't be in the state I am now.
you know when she is 2 and pushing you away you will be glad you held her to go to sleep.. Event hough I get tired of always being the one to get DD to sleep.. nothing beats that sweet contented lok on her face.. She does go in her cot from time to time awake but most nights and day sleeps she has a feed then cuddles off to sleep.. I enjoy it because I know it won't last..
you do whats right for you and your Dd.. If it does get tiring maybe encourage Dh to get her off to sleep..
Its so hard not to compare. You have done a wonderful job making your baby feel safe and secure! You know what she may not have slept well if you put her in her cot either. i feel like this sometimes but when I wake up in the morning to beautiful hugs from DS its all worth the no sleep!
Don't be too hard on your self! Your doing an amazing job
You know, it really makes me mad when mums are made to feel this way, like there is this "one" way for your child to sleep and if you don't conform to it, you have somehow failed. Its just not right.
I certainly felt that way. Until Peter was about 6-7 months old, I was rocking him to sleep. Then we decided to do some sleep training and it worked fantastically. Now he settles himself like a charm. But I can tell you, I tried to do it when he was younger and he just wasn't ready. He had to be a certain age before he could do it, and all the months of rocking him to sleep didn't ruin his developing the ability to self-settle.
What I have learned is that you should do what works to get through. There is plenty of time to develop different habits when they are older and more ready for it. You are NOT creating some "forever" rod for your back- you are doing what works for you and your baby right now. Over time you can work at developing self settling, when you both are ready. It will happen eventually. Don't be hard on yourself, your baby is still very young, there is HEAPS of time.
BTW, now that Peter self settles, he will NOT sleep in my arms. I really miss it!! Try to appreciate if you can, instead of feeling like you are constantly swimming upstream. I know that feeling, like you are fighting nature- much easier to go with the flow!
OK, so I openly admit I am ranting on this, but this whole "you created a rod for your own back" mentality just makes me really mad. Can you believe that when I was in hospital, just when my beautiful brand new baby was born, I slept with me holding him and I had some (not all, but some) midwives tell me I was creating a rod for my own back. C'mon!
I think the rod thing is nonsense. Rant over, sorry
anna, you are not doing everyrthing wrong. I think the trying to fight against what works for you and go with this "lay down while drowsy and teach them to self settle from the moment they are born" formula makes you feel like you are wrong. But you aren't. You're being a great mama!
Oh my, I can't believe I am so worked up about this!
Anna You are doing a fantastic job, and you are providing a warm and caring environment for your DD. If you are happy letting her sleep in your arms, do it, dont let anyone else tell you its the "wrong" thing to do. Do what works for you and DD. If you are wanting to get things done while she sleeps, do you use a sling? If you are wanting to get her to sleep by herself I know many mums on here rave about hammocks.
I let both DS & DD sleep on me for at least 6 months (during the day) and even my mum used to tell me i was "making a rod for my own back" but twas not true, both of them eventually were ready go to sleep by themselves in their beds without tears.
You are a wonderful mum
Sometimes DD goes to sleep in my arms.... sometimes she goes to sleep by herself... and I just go with the flow - I let her dictate it to me, cos really, what else do I have to do? Housework? Bahhh.. I can do that when she's asleep (well in theory, not easy with a toddler - usually I do it when they are BOTH asleep at night).
If she is happy sleeping in your arms - and you are happy providing that environment - don't listen to anyone else. She is still too young to be "manipulating" you.
You don't want to start doing things that you don't feel is your natural, instinctive parenting - and then regret doing it when she's older.
She just wants to be with her mummy that's all.... grab yourself a sling and dance around the house.. that'll bounce her off to sleep
Too tough for me...
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you know when she is 2 and pushing you away you will be glad you held her to go to sleep.. Event hough I get tired of always being the one to get DD to sleep.. nothing beats that sweet contented lok on her face.. She does go in her cot from time to time awake but most nights and day sleeps she has a feed then cuddles off to sleep.. I enjoy it because I know it won't last..
used to tell me i was "making a rod for my own back" but twas not true, both of them eventually were ready go to sleep by themselves in their beds without tears.
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