You are no way near being a bad mother, sometimes with children the only way they understand is unfortunately the hard way. Its the way i brought up and it will be the way i'll bring my kids up.

My mum's worst moment was when she was on the phone to my grandpa and my brother was in the backyard playing and my older sister was off school sick. My sister walked inside and said to my mum that my brother had cut his hand, and mum in the middle of a conversation just said yeah yeah theres bandaids in the cupboard. My brother walked past her and he was bleeding everywhere, he had stuck his hand under the lawn mower and sliced the top of his hand, he was lucky he didnt slice his fingers off. As soon as mum saw that she screamed hung the phone up and took him straight to the hospital.

My mum has never forgiven herself but she knows that mistakes happen, no one is really a perfect parent and looking at my mum i dont expect it.

BIG dont be so hard on yourself, i dont think your a bad mother