When 1,2,3 no longer works on your 4yo, what then?

[Nettie]

Maybe offer a 2 choices that result in the same thing.
For example "You need to get undressed. You can do it yourself or I can help you. Its your choice" It doesn't work in all situations but I found that it helped. I know it sounds silly but it can make them feel like they have some control over the situation but you are still getting the result you desire.

Hmmm.. That's so crazy, it just might work!

[Beach Mama]

I often use the 2 choices thing as well. It does work well at times as well. It gives the child some sense that they are making a choice however the outcome for you is still the same, do you want a pink hair tie or a purple one - come here and choose it. If she still refused then I would then go to counting and time out if she gets to 3 without complying.