My children are different so I parent them differently. Same ideals just different techniques. But I am not softer, not by a long shot. DD is a lot more emotional than DS so she needs a lot more talking and listening. DS doesn't cope well with over assertive requests (I'm sure in his little head he sees them as demands LOL) and doesn't listen to raised voices or short commands (but he still has consequences for his actions) so with him I need to talk calmly and discuss personal rewards when asking to pack up, or to explain to him that he wouldn't like xyz if it was done to him. DD just gets everything, she understands on a higher emotional level (not to say DS isn't emotional) they just operate for the most part differently. But rules are rules, they apply to all as do boundaries but they are just enforced differently. And I get the same results from both techniques with both children.

It really is none of anyone's business how you parent your children, and I'm sure some people (at different times) would think I am softer on one or the other depending on the situation. But I know I'm not and I see two happy well adjusted kids (who have their quirks but don't we all!) and I know I'm doing something right. I don't take much stock in what someone thinks after seeing our parenting for 5 minutes, come live with me for a few months and then you can comments (doesn't mean I'd listen though LMAO!).

And children's needs besides personality change with age, DS is still extremely demanding in comparison to DD so I try really hard to show her that her needs are just as important as his, but at the same time I know in a few years the tables will turn and she'll be more demanding as a teenager and he will coast for a little while. There is never an exact way we do things we mould to the situation and to our children.