i think it really depends on the individual when they hit that point. some will rebel and go behind your back if you say no, some won't. some will learn respect for alcohol if you say yes (so won't go binging) others wont. it really will depend on the individual

from a personal standpoint - my brother was told no. he rebelled. big time. he and his friends would get hold of ouzo essence and drink it straight to get themselves hammered. to this day, he is still a shocking binger (he's almost 33 and this started at 15ish). my parents realised that didn't work for him, so with me, i was allowed to drink. i was allowed a quiet drink at home, i was allowed to go to parties (i was the youngest in my group of friends so lots of 18ths when i was 16/17). i was the one that ended up not binging. hell, half the time i ended up stopping drinking at all at parties and helping my friends who were off their heads.

now, a lot of that comes down to personality. as much as my brother and i share a lot of traits, i definitely inherited the lion share of the responsibilty gene! so maybe, even without the permission and my parents supplying alcohol, i may have taken on the carer role with my friends - but i am a very rebellious nature as well, especially with my parents, and for almost every other facet of my life i rebelled against them, so who knows, maybe i would have gone off binging and getting sick and stuff if they'd said no. i really don't know

we do have alcoholics (and other addictions) on both sides of our family - DH's brother died from alcoholism, his sister is a closet alcoholic (if her kids are to be believed), my uncle is one as well (and that is just alcohol - i won't go into the other addictions) - i guess i see it as MY responsibility to DD to teach her the difference between responsible and irresponsible behaviours. i don't get drunk anymore (but i'm no saint, i DO drink sometimes). i want her to see that getting written off isn't the be all and end all. i drink because i enjoy the taste, not to get hammered - hopefully she will learn the same appreciation kwim?