I haven't had time to read everyone's view but wanted to add mine.
I firmly believe that kids will learn so much more from what we do with alcohol then what our 'rules' are. If you need a wine to unwind then they learn that alcohol can relax you and can be a crutch. If they see that you need to have alcohol to have fun at family functions then that is what they will learn. If they learn that an adult can have one wine with dinner without effects or a need for more then that is also what they will learn. So I think responsible alcohol in front of kids is so important, remembering the lessons they actually take away aren't the ones we tell them but the ones we show them.