You are not alone sweety! My 8yo (only just now 9yo) was doing the same thing. Yes it could be all the changes yada yada, but you know what, they need to know that no matter what happens chores still need to be done! I am quite strict with my DD too. She cleans her room, does her homework and her own lunch & recess. She also is expected to help with other chores when we need it.

There is no harm in asking if things are ok at school, but I think its just the stage they go through. At 1 stage, I threatened to throw everything out of DD's room!!

I am not too sure of your daughter, but mine has hit puberty, so it add a whole new ball game of emotions in the mix! Like having a 15yo tanty

Oh - I also asked myself the same question about my expectations! We've been in the same routine since kindy (now yr 4) so there is no excuse! I do admit, I allow DD to go to bed at 8:30 and we are up at 6am