sounds all very normal. i think you've had a rough day and are doubting yourself.

i've met mums of large families, who actually MAKE the dinner meal IN THE MORNING, when all is calmer - so that in the early evening, when all in NOT calm, they can concentrate on the kids, instead of worrying about making the dinner
You don't have to be a large family, LOL. Thank God it's almost winter and slow cookers!


megB - it sounds like you are on the right track with DD doing the time ins (aka getting her to do jobs with you). Perhaps to solve the toy issue you can find a similar alternative. If my daughter wants to take a toy off her brother she MUST exchange. She is not to leave him empty handed, and she has to make sure he is happy with the exchange first, which she usually gets out of him by showing him how to use the toy (in other words she plays together with him) before handing it over. I've noticed that unless it is a special toy (i.e. birthday present) she can't be bothered going through with the exchange and just lets him play with it without interruption. I do think it is important though that not all toys are shared toys, we as adults don't share everything, there are things we keep to ourselves and I think that should also apply to kids. In our house, there a toys that are his, toys that are hers, and shared toys. She still must exchange if he has gotten hold of one of HER toys, but sometimes she eyes off one of HIS toys with pretty funny consequences. She has no issue exchanging a shared toy for a shared toy, but she will not exchange a his toy for a her toy. She tried it once and the look on her face when he had one of HER toys was hilarious. She quickly swapped his toy back.