Being in the moment

[Heaven]

Just wanted to share this blog post I read today. Something I have been trying to do lately, just slowing down and appreciating 'now'. Hope you enjoy it too

Georgia from 'Gregarious Peach' on Being in the Moment

After coming to terms with the truth that my babies will one day leave I’ve started feeling a little bit like an addict. You see, I've sitting in bed taking desperate whiffs of my Theo’s scent, feeling deliriously in love and then coming down to thoughts of him leaving home and telling me it’s not really okay for me to be calling him ‘Bear’ now he's 26.

Now, don’t get me wrong. This might sound like I'm like I am this crazy fanatic parent who’s just besotted by every aspect of mothering… I'm not.

Just last night after I’d finished thinking how lovely my children were – more pressing thoughts came to mind. While nursing Theo in bed and cuddling my Peach (who was asleep behind me), I’d lost all circulation. Nursing a boy on one side, and holding Peach had left me contorted and sore. My arm was bent on an insane angle and my back was starting to ache. I tried to move my arm back over but Peach let out a whimper letting me know it had to stay.

Goshdarnit! I thought. Can’t I have a moment of rest? Can’t I have a sleep all alone in a great big bed with duck down bedding and 5 oversized pillows? Can’t that beautiful bed be in a house on an island with light blocking shades? Can’t I sleep in till 10am every morning and never wake to another crying child ever, ever again? … is that too much to ask?

I lay there still contorted thinking about how I ended up sore and uncomfortable instead of in a luxurious bed all alone ... or better yet, in my luxurious bed all alone with my husband

Theo stopped nursing just about the same time as I was picking out imaginary linen for this illusive luxurious bed. Before I was able to decide whether Egyptian white cotton would trump an Indian silk throw Theo had rolled away from me and I was able to turn and settle into a comfortable position. Décor selecting and wishing I were elsewhere went out the window as I lay with my sweet two snuggled and sleeping on either side. Theo in the crook of my arm, and my hand holding Peach’s I knew at once that this was where I wanted to be.

Sometimes I forget this though. Sometimes I get caught up in wishing the day would end, wishing I could be babyless for a day or two or sometimes just flat out wishing I could advertise my children for sale.

I remind myself “Remeber, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being” (Kittie Franz) and make that conscious decision that because I am painfully aware things won’t be this way forever – both the enchantment and challenge of mothering will be gone in the blink of an eye – I cannot stand to get caught up in just 'getting through' this time; I will cherish my babies, relishing this time and making sure I get every last kiss I can planted on their chubby little bellies.

1 week from now I won’t remember that discomfort of last night.

1 year from now I won’t be appreciating an extra sleep in.

5 years from now I won’t be wishing I could have squeezed in some more housework or reading or time alone.

10 years from now I won’t wonder what it would have been like to have my children sleep in another room, got them baby sat more often or focused on my career instead.

No; alone in that luxurious bed, I will long for these moments and these days. I will savour these days forever. The delight will be polished each time I bring these memories out and the arduousness shall be all but forgotten. Time and age will claim my babies one day, but it cannot and will not rob me of *now* .

And I know that when I finally do climb into that luxurious bed all alone - I am going to have picked down to the very last detail the finest linen in all the world

[phebee]

That is lovely and very true. So timely also for me. Thanks for posting it

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[Teeki]

Loved it heaven. I'm going to read it to DH, he's constantly gettin stressed about this whole parenting thing instead of enjoying the here and now with DD.

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[MummyNaomi]

Ahhh, love Georgia's blog, she inspired me to do my own 365 project in 2010 - I've been addicted for some time now

[Boo Boo]

How beautiful and so true.. our beautiful babies are definately not an inconvenience....timely reminder for me to.

[ellasmummy]

Love it!!

[Liviam]

That is beautiful!! I'm going to print it out and stick it on my fridge to keep reminding me of exactly that.

Thanks for posting it

[Rowellen]

Brought tears to my eyes. I am struggling with this very issue right now. In fact I wrote a post on it yesterday. I so want to enjoy my babies but am finding it so difficult. I did get to enjoy a little snuggle with DD when I fed her in bed this morning. I lay there stroking her hair while she dozed & fed. Such a beautiful moment. I also got some wonderful cuddles on the couch with DS as he woke up crying & saying "DS still sleeping" lol! Since DD was still sleeping, I got to spend time cuddling & comforting him until he woke up properly & was ready to play. These are the best moments.

[Heaven]

It's so true. These are the best years of our lives, right now. I don't want to miss a minute.

[forshelby]

I came to this realisation whilst I tried to write on DS's card for his birthday. His very first birthday. I broke down sobbing, realising how much time I'd already wasted wishing things were different, or easier, or whatever. I don't want to waste another minute.

And if (when, I hope) I'm blessed again with another child I'll be doing this right from the start. I missed so many beautiful moments or opportunities for beautiful moments because of my own negativity.

Thanks for posting!

[Heaven]

Don't be too hard on yourself forshelby. I think it's pretty much like that for everyone first time around. It's just such a shock, and a lot harder than you expected. And then you have all the people telling you what you 'should' be doing. Second time around is much more relaxing and you get to enjoy it more. And then, yeah, you feel guilty for not enjoying it enough with your first

[forshelby]

Mothers guilt, eh? I think the tears were also just for the fact that my baby has become a toddler, and he'll never be tiny like that again. So much has changed so fast, it's hard to keep up sometimes.

I am quietly looking forward to next time, whenever that may be. (quite a long time I think)

[sirenz]

thank you for posting this, I really needed to read something like that today