DH wants parental leave - am I just being selfish?

[MummyNaomi]

Ktee - I returned to work when our DS was 10.5 months and DH took his entitled paid parental leave and then 3 months of long service leave (so had 4.5 months / 18 weeks at home with DS), now I work part time and DS has two days with me, two days in CC and one day with my Mum.

This arrangement worked well for us both financially (we were able to make the most of all our entitlements) and DH LOVED spending this very special time with DS and DS LOVED spending time with Daddy - and knowing DS was home with Dad made my return to work much easier. Although if finances weren't an issue I would choose to be a SAHM, in hindsight I am VERY VERY glad my DH had the same opportunity to spend this 1on1 time with his child during this amazing time (where they change every day). We'll be doing exactly the same with baby #2.

In answer to your question about being selfish - the answer is Yes, but of course every Mum would want to maximise their time with their baby, so its perfectly ok. But I must say that Dads are just as good a parent as Mums, and we must give them the same opportunities where possible to bond and care for their babies that Mums get (because people assume thats the right thing to do). The relationship my DH and DS have is simply wonderful, and like all babies, DS will always want Mum first, but golly gosh he loves his Daddy to bits Also, the added bonus is that your DH will have a WHOLE new appreciation for everything you do, as they suddenly have an understanding of what it's like to be the SAHP.

I strongly urge you to give it a go, frankly I think Dads often get 'forgotten' amongst the whole new baby, new mother journey, and to be able to have a family arrangement where both you and DH have the same opportunity to care for your baby is a wonderful wonderful thing that will have long lasting positive effects in bonding your family

[OutbackWoman]

now, I know absolutely nothing about the paid parental leave scheme, can you get it at half rate though? that way DH can work part time, and you can work part time, so DH doesn't feel left out and had more time bonding with bubs.. just a thought

[Teeki]

now, I know absolutely nothing about the paid parental leave scheme, can you get it at half rate though? that way DH can work part time, and you can work part time, so DH doesn't feel left out and had more time bonding with bubs.. just a thought

I don't think we can do it this way, it can only be paid to the primary caregiver for 18 weeks full-time as far as I know. Either that or taking it as a baby bonus instead. When I do go back to work I want to do 4 days instead of 5, and really want DH to do the same but take a different day off so bubs is only in child care for 3 days a week. Even this he's not sure about though!!

[Kazbah]

Part pay maternity leave is usually a work / enterprise option and up to the employer.

Parental leave as paid by the government is, I think, available full-pay only. As BG mentioned above, there is a calculator where you can check where you'd be better off - with paid parental leave over the 18 weeks on minimum wage, or the baby bonus as paid in increments.

[Teeki]

Part pay maternity leave is usually a work / enterprise option and up to the employer.

Parental leave as paid by the government is, I think, available full-pay only. As BG mentioned above, there is a calculator where you can check where you'd be better off - with paid parental leave over the 18 weeks on minimum wage, or the baby bonus as paid in increments.

Lol Kazbah, every time you write a post I think what are you doing still here?? Hope bubs comes along soon

But as you said with the calculator, we had a look but that was a while ago and I don't remember which way we'd be better off. In any case I'd rather take the time off and be a bit worse off financially than go back to work sooner and and have to put bubs in daycare at only 24 weeks. This way we'll be getting 10 months before we need to go to daycare, I'm much happier with that!