Do you wish you'd waited?

**murraycod** · December 9th, 2012, 02:58 PM

DH and I started TTC desperately to have a baby when I was 25, after many years and fertility treatment we had our First when I was almost 31, and will be 33 by the time our second arrives. Sometimes I feel like things were meant to be that way because as much as we did want children earlier in life, we enjoyed so time together being irresponsible.
I wouldn't change a thing

**Rouge** · December 9th, 2012, 03:01 PM

Just a side note. There are downsides to any age I'm sure. And it's not always easy being a parent in your 20's or your 40's.

**STARRYSKY** · December 9th, 2012, 03:35 PM

I wish we hadn't waited as long as we did...
I always wanted kids young...DP and I finally agreed when I was 25 (he was 24) to start trying, didnt get pregnant until I was 27, miscarried, got pregnant again 6 months later with DS.
We have now been trying again for #2 for just over 2 years.... it's just not happening...

**Mildez** · December 9th, 2012, 04:03 PM

I wish I had of had the children I have now younger but not my first. I was 17 (hence why I am glad I wasn't younger), 23 and 28 when I had my babies. I have been having fertility problems since I was 24. I ideally would have loved 4 children but its now got to the stage where I most likely will only have the 3 (in which I am very happy with and grateful)
The issue I have is I have never ever had time for me since been an adult. Although we own our home (no morgage) and I have a career (RN/RM)I now wish my kids were closer in age. There needs are so different and 12years on from starting a family I am still unable to work the amount of hours I want which impacts on us financially. I've never been away on a holiday without them, and in the last 2years have never been shopping without atleast 1 child.It seems a long way away before I have some time for me.
One could argue that if I waited until I was older I would have done all the things I mentioned above however if I did it that way I would not have fallen pregnant in my 30's naturally and there are no guarantees with IVF so for this reason alone I am glad I did not wait to have children. As a midwife I see too many women struggle for years to have children and that can takes years away from your life (the depression and desperation that comes with not been able to conceive) I just see it as the longer you delay conceiving the higher the chance of having difficulties (simply because there is more time for things to go wrong) I certainly wont be encouraging my children to get pregnant young but I wont be encouraging them to wait either. I know for a large percent of us various things mean having babies is not an option (other future parents feelings, relationship status, financial, illness etc) But when my children feel ready emotionally and really want to be parents I will be very excited for them despite there age (as long as they are over 18)
I am also really excited about the future with my adult daughters and the fact if my health permits I will be relatively young when they are young women so hopefully they will want to come on holidays with me and go out for coffee or shopping.

**Ginger** · December 9th, 2012, 04:03 PM

no way. i had so much fun in my 20s. had some pretty wild times, and then fell pg with ds1 when i had just turned 30. perfect timing for me

**AngelPants** · December 9th, 2012, 04:46 PM

DS1 was born 2 months before my 21st birthday and 2 days short of our 2 year anniversary (of being together). I wouldnt have it any other way. There are some downsides like most friends don't have kids and trying to save for a house deposit on one income but we went with our gut feeling for when it felt right.

**onthefly** · December 9th, 2012, 05:37 PM

I'm an OLD mum around here! By a long way. But I've done things I wouldn't have if we'd had kids 10 years ago.
I'm sure there are good and bad points whichever way you do it - make the most of where you are.

**Mrs P** · December 9th, 2012, 09:04 PM

I wish I'd started earlier. I was 31 when I had DD and she took 3.5 years (and eventually IVF) to get. However, I know if I did start earlier then I wouldn't have achieved my PhD and there's NO WAY I could ever have done it (in my field) post-kids!
In the end I think what is meant to happen, happens. I see plenty of advantages and disadvantages of early kids or late kids. In my case I've done some travelling and achieved in my career but actually having kids was more of a struggle (and I think the stress of my PhD contributed to my fertility problems).

**KitFaerie** · December 9th, 2012, 09:16 PM

Late twenties was perfect timing for me. We were slowing down dramatically anyway, the thought of clubbing made me wanna jump into my jammies and make cookies and DH was trying to teach the cat how to turn lights on and off (my Mum saw him doing that and said to me 'That man needs a baby!') So we knew we were done with that part of our life. No regrets at all.

Having said that, I am glad we had our time of parties and travelling!

**Amy_jellybean** · December 9th, 2012, 09:21 PM

Not at all. DH and I started trying when we got engaged at 19. We are now 24 and only just about to have our first. I would hate to be 30 and only just finding out about our fertility problems!

**Catastrophic** · December 9th, 2012, 09:23 PM

I don't regret my girls at all - and wouldn't change things for the world..

And I don't really wish I had waited - I just wished I chose differently and gave them a better father to raise them....

**Amity** · December 10th, 2012, 05:34 AM

I had my two at 25 and 28. If I waited, I don't think I would have had children at all. I'm not particularly maternal.

Like Cat though, I do wish they'd had a different father. I know who it would have been, too, and he and I have discussed it a lot. If only things were different...

**AndiE** · December 10th, 2012, 08:09 AM

Nope. I couldn't think of anything worse than being 45 odd and having a 10 year old, to put it bluntly

I must be honest and say this comment leaves a slightly sour taste in my mouth. I know it's your opinion, and you're perfectly entitled to it - I'm not going to argue your point. I just wanted to ask why though?? I'll be 50 when my youngest turns 10, and I can think of a million things worse than that.

I married at 33, had my first bub at 35, second two days after I turned 37 and my third just before I hit 40. While I might have preferred for it all to have taken place 2-3 years earlier, I'm happy and content. My mother always told me to "get out and see the world, do something with your life" before settling down. I did just that, and now I'm growing up three gorgeous boys. I'm happy as a pig in mud

**beansbeans!** · December 10th, 2012, 08:21 AM

No not at all. I was 24 when DD1 was born. 26 with DD2 and 28 with DD3. We are where we are today because of our girls. For me I dont think age had anything to do with it, we were ready, even though we didnt realise we were ready.

**aussienic** · December 10th, 2012, 09:21 AM

I was 23 when i had my first (well just before I turned 23) and 27 when I had my second

I wish we had done more travelling before having kids but simply couldn't afford it but I don't regret having kids younger. Dh and I always say there is always time for more couple things once the kids move away from home.. (well we hope so anyways)

**roz2288** · December 10th, 2012, 09:34 AM

I was 17 when I had my 1st ds 19 when I had my 2nd ds and 21when I had my dd and I wished I had waited till at least 24 to have them but am glad I had them and I can do the things I missed out on just with a few wrinkles once my kids are older

**roz2288** · December 10th, 2012, 09:35 AM

I was 17 when I had my 1st ds 19 when I had my 2nd ds and 21when I had my dd and I wished I had waited till at least 24 to have them but am glad I had them and I can do the things I missed out on just with a few wrinkles once my kids are older

**nickle730** · December 10th, 2012, 11:14 AM

I had my first just after I turned 26. She was an 'oops', but always planned - she just arrived a couple of years before we had planned her! DS arrived when I was 28 and DD2 at 33. I'm very happy with the age I was when I started my family and she was, without a doubt, the best surprise I've ever had! DH and I were married, owned our home and both had established careers, so I don't feel that I missed out on any opportunities by having my first baby at 26. We have travelled more since having kids than we did before having them. I love traveling with children, seeing the wonder and discovery through their eyes brings a whole new perspective to visiting a new culture, and I reckon having children with you opens so many doors as you already have something in common with people all over the world.