I don't in the end but that doesn't mean I don't realise the downsides to my situation, just that they are outweighed by the positives. My children were not planned so it sort of happened when it happened (first born just after 21, second after 24). If I had of chosen I'm not sure I would have ever had children so I'm kind of thankful it happened this way because I had no idea what I was missing out on. I feel forever grateful for this twist in my life.
Things I love about being a young mum is that I have a lot of energy. Little to no sleep doesn't phase me so I can parent the way that speaks to me with ease (co-sleeping, feeding to sleep, letting them sleep through in their own time which was just before 3 for the first and yet to be seen in the second), the running around and constant demand of it all is not overwhelmingly tiring (I can baby-wear my youngest all day while exploring with my oldest), I just feel in a good place to be dealing with the whole thing and motherhood feels very suited to my life right now. I had easy pregnancies and birth which might have been influenced by being young and fit. My parents are young enough still to chase after the kids and give them a lot of time and energy. They are very involved and it makes me think that I might have a similar relationship with my grandchildren should I ever be blessed in that way because there is every chance I'll still be quite sprightly. It inspired me onto a pathway in life I never would have chosen myself, it led me to my partner. It taught me SO much and made me a better person. I appreciate my parents and time in a whole new way, I am motivated in a whole new way. I'm glad I have gotten this insight to life at a young age.
Things that aren't so great are not having ANY time as just a couple with DP (already had DD1 when we met). We often wistfully imagine what life would have been like just as us two before kids although the good thing about being young is we have many years once they are more independent to enjoy. Having DD1 not being my partner's kind of sucks although I love who DD1 is so it is a tough thing really, I guess the genes were a good combination. I couldn't have DD1 without her dad, it is just an extra complication I could do without. Not having set up ourselves more financially although we have no debt so I guess it could be worse, we do pretty well.
I absolutely adore being a family of four. I love just kicking back together at the beach or the park, I just feel happy being together (just got back from the pool actually and having some quick downtime while they nap before a late lunch out and then off to the grandparents to explore the Christmas lights and that is just the absolute perfect day in my book). If somebody could timelock my children as they are right now for me to defrost in a few years I don't think I would be tempted to take them up on the offer although I can appreciate what benefits there are to having waited, I like things just the way they are.
Not sure if this influences things but I had already traveled pretty extensively overseas (although there are still places on my list) and was never a big drinker (never been drunk) or partier.
DH and I started TTC desperately to have a baby when I was 25, after many years and fertility treatment we had our First when I was almost 31, and will be 33 by the time our second arrives. Sometimes I feel like things were meant to be that way because as much as we did want children earlier in life, we enjoyed so time together being irresponsible.
I wouldn't change a thing
I wish we hadn't waited as long as we did...
I always wanted kids young...DP and I finally agreed when I was 25 (he was 24) to start trying, didnt get pregnant until I was 27, miscarried, got pregnant again 6 months later with DS.
We have now been trying again for #2 for just over 2 years.... it's just not happening...
DS1 was born 2 months before my 21st birthday and 2 days short of our 2 year anniversary (of being together). I wouldnt have it any other way. There are some downsides like most friends don't have kids and trying to save for a house deposit on one income but we went with our gut feeling for when it felt right.
I'm an OLD mum around here! By a long way. But I've done things I wouldn't have if we'd had kids 10 years ago.
I'm sure there are good and bad points whichever way you do it - make the most of where you are.
Late twenties was perfect timing for me. We were slowing down dramatically anyway, the thought of clubbing made me wanna jump into my jammies and make cookies and DH was trying to teach the cat how to turn lights on and off (my Mum saw him doing that and said to me 'That man needs a baby!') So we knew we were done with that part of our life. No regrets at all.
Having said that, I am glad we had our time of parties and travelling!
I wish I'd started earlier. I was 31 when I had DD and she took 3.5 years (and eventually IVF) to get. However, I know if I did start earlier then I wouldn't have achieved my PhD and there's NO WAY I could ever have done it (in my field) post-kids!
In the end I think what is meant to happen, happens. I see plenty of advantages and disadvantages of early kids or late kids. In my case I've done some travelling and achieved in my career but actually having kids was more of a struggle (and I think the stress of my PhD contributed to my fertility problems).
Not at all. DH and I started trying when we got engaged at 19. We are now 24 and only just about to have our first. I would hate to be 30 and only just finding out about our fertility problems!
I had my two at 25 and 28. If I waited, I don't think I would have had children at all. I'm not particularly maternal.
Like Cat though, I do wish they'd had a different father. I know who it would have been, too, and he and I have discussed it a lot. If only things were different...
I was 23 when i had my first (well just before I turned 23) and 27 when I had my second
I wish we had done more travelling before having kids but simply couldn't afford it but I don't regret having kids younger. Dh and I always say there is always time for more couple things once the kids move away from home.. (well we hope so anyways)
I was 17 when I had my 1st ds 19 when I had my 2nd ds and 21when I had my dd and I wished I had waited till at least 24 to have them but am glad I had them and I can do the things I missed out on just with a few wrinkles once my kids are older
I was 17 when I had my 1st ds 19 when I had my 2nd ds and 21when I had my dd and I wished I had waited till at least 24 to have them but am glad I had them and I can do the things I missed out on just with a few wrinkles once my kids are older
I had my first just after I turned 26. She was an 'oops', but always planned - she just arrived a couple of years before we had planned her! DS arrived when I was 28 and DD2 at 33. I'm very happy with the age I was when I started my family and she was, without a doubt, the best surprise I've ever had! DH and I were married, owned our home and both had established careers, so I don't feel that I missed out on any opportunities by having my first baby at 26. We have travelled more since having kids than we did before having them. I love traveling with children, seeing the wonder and discovery through their eyes brings a whole new perspective to visiting a new culture, and I reckon having children with you opens so many doors as you already have something in common with people all over the world.
I had DD a few months before my 30th this year and I wish I'd had her 2-3 years earlier, partly so I could afford a bit more spacing for multiple kids without hitting my late 30s. But there are so many variables including partner, job, finances and mother nature it's a very hard call to make. (I also thought I'd probably be happy with just 1 before her)
whenever this question comes up from friends who are married but yet to start a family I always tell them to get to the baby making ASAP if you want kids. I was 25 when we started trying for a baby... I was 28, nearly 29 by the time we actually got one! Operations/infertility/IVF/ICSI et al meant having a baby wasn't as easy as it should have been... and we were two "normal" very healthy, fit young people. so you can just never tell. I am glad I didn't wait til we were in our 30s because the babies that did arrive (i got 2 in 18 months lol) may never have happened if I'd been 10 years older. Possibly, if you do watn to wait, getting your fertility checked out might be the smart thing to do so when you decide you are ready, hopefully there won't be huge hurdles in the way!
So not sure if that answers your questions! I wanted to be a younger mum, but it didn't happen that way. It's the way it worked out and now I wouldn't swap those years DH and I had and that I had on my career.
I think there are real pros and cons for both sides. It's like whether to have kids close together in age or wait five or so years between them... courses for horses and all that.
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