DS was like this to some extent until he turned two and then the daycare saw some "real" behaviour for a while lol. He still has some tendency to be this way, but probably not to the extent that you're experiencing. I have a mate with a daughter who is like this to a T. Total nightmare at home and really full on to manage but she's an angel when out and about and especially in care. I find it frustrating that carers and teachers who have studied child development and know this is normal for some kids, act totally shocked when you, as a parent, try to balance the picture. In the end I gave up trying to convince some of them that DS really didn't sleep very well at all at night. Ever. Just because they do something in care or school, doesn't mean it's because it's happening at home.