I looooooooooooove Alfie Kohn!!! I think it's brilliant

I struggled with it at first when I read it, but I think there is a lot of truth in it. I don't think it means that we don't acknowledge our kids or their accomplishments, but I think it is about not judging their accomplishments (or behaviour) but rather acknowledging it. It's also about teaching them to not seek approval from others but rather about them finding satisfaction in their choices, decisions and achievements on their own. Moving from eternal motivation to internal motivation. I also think this is how self esteem is built.

If you want to put this idea in context, he does talk more about it in his book (and there is a DVD he made by the same name) 'Unconditional Parenting'.