I think there needs to be a balanced approach with praise and building self esteem though, I think sometimes if we build our kids up too much, they struggle when they fail or don't achieve something because they miss out on much wanted praise. I've seen this at work with some of the young kids that start - they are almost incapable of accepting constructive feedback or coaching and react very emotionally. I think we do our kids a disservice if we don't teach them how to accept praise and constructive criticism, they are both life skills, and obviously they need to be age appropriate but the foundation we set at an early age will be the legacy we give them.
My nieces - beautiful girls, clever, bright, much adored etc lack compassion for others because their parents have always told them how wonderful they are, and how clever they are, and how advanced they are, how hard working they are etc etc but given this message in the way of 'compared to <enter name here>'. They have a massive superiority complex. It's an ugly behaviour to observe in young girls.
I think building self esteem is a very important role of a parent - but we just need to be mindful of how we deliver this message to our kids. You can never say "I love you" or "Thank you" or "I'm proud of you" too often, but I think the praise needs to be genuine and not over the top (eg constant "Good Boy" for everything)
Naomi, I think you've hit the nail on the head there
Since reading this thread I've noticed how often I say "good boy", BUT I've also noticed how often I moderate the praise. For example, if Kyson does something but doesn't totally succeed, rather than just giving him a "good boy", I tell him how happy I am that he gave it a go, and explain that if he keeps practicing it will get better and better. I'm glad that this thread made me think about it because I've realised that I'm very happy with the way I handle "praise" with Kyson
Also, I completely agree that there are never too many "I love you" or "Thank you" or "I'm proud of you"
I saw this thread, went in and had a skim but ever since then I catch myself saying 'good job' and have a think about it.
I like giving praise to my girls. It's not always 'good job' but mostly 'thank you' etc like the posters above.
MummyNaomi, I completely agree with this "I think there needs to be a balanced approach with praise and building self esteem though, I think sometimes if we build our kids up too much, they struggle when they fail or don't achieve something because they miss out on much wanted praise."
It's like when we are toilet training, I don't want to put too much pressure on my girls with too much praise because they are sad and frustrated if they can't do it the next time.
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