Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job!"

[YoYo]

I was talking with mum about this tonight, and I think it's a bit like when you buy your kids too many 'treats' .... They stop becoming treats, and they are expected rather than earned and your kid flies off the handle if they don't get what they want.

I don't think positive reinforcement is 'wrong' but possibly over done, and I can understand the point of letting the child be proud of themselves on their own, and building their own self esteem, rather than building it up from what we say and expect from them.

I still haven't read all the replies but I will. but right now, it's bedtime!


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[Rouge]

I think the thing is, if you rely solely on one type of positive reinforcement it's probably never going to work. Especially if it's over done or not really needed. For example we may use praise, but we also communicate well, as well as teach our children to recognise their own achievements. For example I praised my children as toddlers when using the toilet properly but I wouldn't do that now because well that would just be creepy. I think it's more about showing appreciating in our house, as well as reinforcing a positive behaviour when they are unsure or are learning, as well as compliments... which IMO is good to learn. Nothing makes my gf's hearts melt more than when my 5 year old son comes and compliments them on how beautiful they look today, or how yummy a meal is. These are things he has learnt from his father as well as us showing him the same courtesy. I wonder how many adults would like to go through life without any feedback or positive reinforcements.

[YoYo]

I suppose too, praise doesn't roll off everyone's tongue like it's second nature.... Like those above who didn't get praised for a job well done at work. You have to realize in life that just because you think you've done a good job you aren't always going to be praised. You just have to believe in yourself that you have done a 'good job' and rely on your own self esteem to pump up your tyres! Which is why I do think that praise, OOT kinda stuff, shouldn't be over done..... I don't think that it shouldn't happen at all.


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