MY DS who is 2 and half....told me while in hossy, He is going to be my Duck-tor. ( he means doctor)
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MY DS who is 2 and half....told me while in hossy, He is going to be my Duck-tor. ( he means doctor)
my 2.5 yr old dd squeezed my boobs today and asked if my boobs would do wees on her face lol
I gave my youngest dd a kiss this morning (we'd just woken up) and she pointed to my mouth and said "gukky' " ( i guess she'd prefer i brush my teeth next time :rolleyes:)
That's why i never get how, in movies, they can have passionate kissing scenes first thing in the morning. Hello people!! Morning Breath!!!
DD caitlyn is 2.5 years old, and enjoys going out the back yard for a play in the morning..wnd when she needs to go to the loo she comes to the door and yells out, i need to go etc..well 10 minutes ago she yells out "need to poo in the toilet mummy"...." poo in the toilet mummy" i race to the door to let her in only to find her holding a nice fresh poo that she did outside wanting to take it to the toilet......nice...
Priceless!! :rolf:
Apparently I did a similar thing to my mum when I was about that age... took myself off to the potty to do a poo and when I was done I wanted to show mum. She was into making a big fuss about doing a poo in the potty rather than the nappy (as you do when you are trying to toilet train, positive reinforcement and all that). Only problem was that she was in the middle of entertaining, holding an afternoon tea when I appeared at the table proudly holding the poo in my hand sans potty, "look mummy, I do poo!". Went down a treat!
Ah, first time I have read this thread and it was my darling daughter who opened it looking for a laugh.
So I have a couple. Some darling siblings. I remember once we were driving into Emu Plains and we'd just gone over the vic bridge when my little brother jumps up on his seat, hand out pointing... "Look Mum! Its a f**k!"
We were all relieved when he started adding the R sound and it became a fruck.
My sister was a classic though. Nan took us to maccas one day and she looks straight at the lady behind the counter and pipes up - "My sisters call you chew and spew".. We turned red and walked away while nan got the food.
Not as bad as the time mum had her shopping and she saw an aboriginal lady walking through pushing a pram. She runs over and looks in the pram, then looks up at the lady and exclaims - "I love your chocolate baby".
Harry got me a beauty the other day.. watching Bolt for the first time, and the first superbark where all the cars and helos are flying and crashing - sounded to me like he said "Holy S**t". I found out later that he was actually copying Mater from cars - it was Holy Shoot.
Lyta is the card though. Some of her classics from our QLD trip. Bear in mind this stuff is said between sobs because these are actual serious disasters!
"There is milk in my cereal"
"There is chocolate in my chocolate milk"
and " Your Icy poles are really cold"
:lol: DD is currently wearing jeans, a bright pink T shirt, a green Cotton on Kids tutu and twirling around with arms above her head, then extends an arm in front and the opposite leg behind, then swaps arms and legs, then looks at you and if you don't clap she demands you do! :lol:
Last night, I was sharing an apple with DD. DH came and took a piece of apple and DD looked at him and said 'Daddy . . . ah-ah' while wagging her finger backwards and forwards at him to tell him he wasn't allowed a piece of apple. It had me in stitches. She fully told him off. DH just looked a little shocked . . . so funny!
Today DD is wearing a t-shirt that has dinosaurs on it and there is a flap with dinosaur egg pictures on it. When you lift the flap, there are baby dinosaurs underneath. We put her to bed in it and she lifted the flap so the baby dinosaurs could breath. :rofl: Very cute!
Recently at playgroup one of the little boys had to do a wee just as we had locked everything up, so he ran off & did it by the tree & then wouldn't put his undies on. My DS came up, got down at eye level & says "oh doodle" pointing at this little boy.......then points down & says "Charlie doodle" pointing at his own & to top it off he then yells out Daddy has a doodle!!!! eeeeekkkkk I didn't know where to look, yes we have taught him well what that part of his body is LOL!
Speaking of little boys and their doodles XD
My SIL DS who is 5 proudly (and randomly) declared the other day that his daddy his the biggest doodle he has ever seen :lol:
Just had a funny conversation with Zander...
Z: Mummy how old is Bear? (our cat)
Me: 16
Z: She's big
Then we went back & forth me saying he was 50, 36, 93 etc & him saying no I'm four over & over
Me: How do you know you're four?
Z: It's just my number mummy, that's just how old I am
Me: But who told you?
Z: No-one, it just is my number
I was out with DD the other day, and said to her "Oh - help me remember that after this we have to stop and get such-and-such." She's five, by the way.
She looked at me soberly and said "Yes, I'll help you remember, Mum, 'cause your brains are pretty much gone." :rofl:
I laughed my head off over that.... Too bad it's just about true. :redface:
A few days ago when I was head down bum up with morning sickness, Charlie was standing next to me saying "bless you mummy".......I had to laugh he's just over 2 & I always say it to him, didn't realise he had picked it up.
Also some of my DH relatives randomly rocked up on the weekend as they are doing a caravan tour of Aust, Charlie had no prob from the word go calling them Nanna & Poppa!!! way to make someone feel old.
I have my first Juliette funny moment....
I was changing the quilt cover for my bed & she was sitting on my floor watching. When I clicked the first press stud she looked up to see what it was. Then after the second on clicked, she clicked her tongue in response & did the same for the remaining three!! Cheeky!
Ah, DD1... where do I start??
Since DD2 has come along, she has gotten herself an education in lots of things I didn't realise.
DD1 now insists on being given a 'boobie pad' (breast pad) to stuff down the front of her shirt, and 'boobie cream' (nipple cream) to rub on her belly whenever she sees me feeding the baby.
The other day, she was snuggling on the couch with DD2, when she pulled her shirt up, pressed DD2's head to her chest and said 'Come on bubbie - boobie-time!' Ah, bless her little heart. As it happened, DD2 was just deciding it was time for a feed and greedily started rooting around looking for what she wanted...
And I'm dreading the return of AF now - DD1 followed me into the toilet a couple of days after DD2 was born, caught sight of my maternity pad, and patted me on the arm saying, 'It's okay... ouch. I get a band-aid'.
I just about fell off the toilet laughing... :D
DS (2yrs) is getting into sentences now and able to express himself more.
Today he was playing matchbox cars on our dog's back.
I said "Be gentle - Zeussy doesn't like playing cars"
DS said " Yes - no hands" - Hahahahahaha!
Later on he told me that I had a 'lady' coffee and DH had a 'man' coffee. I asked what his was and he said 'baby first then lady ?!? Gotta love em.
So I am not sure really where to put this but I HAD to share it
The other day we were at the shops and my nearly 4yo DD needed to go to the toilet.....
Fast forward to her in the toilet- me controlling my other DD - when she yells at the top of her voice "Mum - why is there a Dim Sim in the toilet?"
You guessed it - someone had thrown their tampon in the toilet.
Boy did I flush the toilet fast and change the subject even faster!!
I will never be able to eat another DimSim in my life.
Kids.....
I have a couple to share - DS1 has been a crack up lately!
"Mum, every time someone asks Mrs M (his kindy teacher) a question, she scratches her bottom"
J: "Mum, why do I take this tablets again, I forget"
Me: "To help your memory and concentration" (they are fish oil tablets recommended by his paed)
J: "Oh, well they're certainly not working very well" (Ain't that the truth ;) )
Walkng from swimming lessons to the shops last week.. on the path ahead of us was a lady who was squatting down to do something, so her jeans had moved down at the back a bit too far for DS's liking. He pointed and started saying very loudly "Oh geez Mum! Oh, GROSS! Look at that! That ladies bottom is hanging out of her pants! GROSS! Oh, Yuck! That's disgusting!"
I was so embarrassed and felt so bad for the lady, but I also had to have a bit of a giggle at DS and his reaction.
The PC froze just before and DS called me over.
I told him "let's just pray, that nothing has happened to the computer" and he said "which prayer do you want me to say?"
:ROFL:
The boy has no sense of humour. He is oh so serious.
DD's version of bugger off is to wave her hand very, very crossly at me and DP and shout "BYE BYE!".
LOL!
My 8yo brothers repsonse to the dust storm...
"This is the pops clips mum... is it? Is it the pops clips?"
LMAO! Mum was thinking what the...? Pops clips? You wanna watch music videos? :rofl:
Hahahaha, seems he was talking to my 16yo brother, who was trying to scare him (:rolleyes:) by telling him it was the apocalypse!!!
LOL, pops clips :lol:
:rofl: Ah kids, don't they say the darndest things! ;)
On a side note..... sometimes pop clips feel kind of like what I imagine the apocalypse would be like... :cryinglaugh:
I'm really looking forward to having lots of these moments :) Maybe not the one I gave my mum though:
I was about 2ish, and we were out shopping. I spotted a man with a turban on his head and apparently screamed at my mum "WHY ISN'T THAT MAN IN HIS TAXI?" ... Oh dearie...
I also had a few catchphrases, the two that I've never lived down are "Beel-wheel" and "Stemmo". Beelwheel meant anything from my own name to peanut butter. Stemmo on the other hand, was something at the bank. Mum had a free day once and she was a bit curious as to what my word meant, so off we went to the bank. "Is this it?" "Noooo, it's at the other bank!" Apparently we went around to every bank in the area, me getting more upset every time that mum didn't know what a Stemmo was! We still have no idea.
yesterday at the beach, DD was petrified of the seagulls swarming us to try and get our fish and chips. Once I told her they wanted her lunch she stopped screaming and happily threw them food. Then got distressed that MORE birds arrived :doh: Then we went to leave and she was distressed about walking through the flock... until they parted as she walked through. At which point she turned around and said in the same tone her carer at creche uses "Oh! Thank you! I so proud you! Bye bye fairies. See you next time! See you soon k?" and blew them a kiss. :rofl:
:rofl: MG
Aidens thing is atm is "Bye, See ya later" everytime he leaves a room and if theres clapping and cheering on the tv he joins in and stomps his feet. Looks so cute :)
Seriously, when my son is not chucking a tanty, he is so funny.... I have a girlfriend that has a son 1 month younger than Lachlan and i could just sit and watch them play for hours with the little babbly conversations they have with each other and the great games they make up.
Today, they were chasing my friends crawling 11 mnth old around but as soon as the crawler turned around, the boys would run away cracking up laughing. such a simple thing but they get so much joy out of it.
I have also been teaching my son to tell jokes, like, 'how do you make a sausage roll?" "you push it" and "what does mummy and daddy say" "NO NO NO" but he has worked out that if you tell a funny story everyone laughs, problem is, you cant understand a word he says so he just babbles something at you and expects you to laugh.
What do your toddlers do that make you laugh???
LOL Ava is always making me laugh. Her latest thing is saying "mummy mummy mummy" until I answer her, then when I do she goes "I have a bum" pmsl :rofl:
Everytime DD watches in the night garden she cracks up especially when they go "isn't that a pip?" heheh I find that hilarious.
One of the funniest time was when we were teaching DD how to say eyes, ears, noses, mouth in english and chinese. She knows them in those languages.
Then DH, decides to teach her in viet as well, so he points to his eyes and she says it and then because nose in viet sounds very much like my name, he points to his nose and says "mui" and she points to me and goes "Moy moy moy"
we cracked up!!!!!!!!!
We've had a few tradesmen here the past couple of days and DD is a total show-off.
If she's not being paid attention she tries to grab some. First off, she pulled her pants down and started laughing. Then when the bloke was busy bending down, she went over to him to show him one of her swimmer nappies and was saying "fish, fish". Then a few minutes later she wanted to show him her Fox & Hound DVD box. Then when he started knocking on the wall to find a stud, she copied him and found the whole thing hilarious.
This makes it sound like we just let her bug the poor tradies - that all happened within a couple of minutes and then we took her out for a few hours so they could actually get some work done!
it was my little sisters first day of kindergarten and she was meeting some of the teachers, when she met a teacher who was on the bit bigger side she says : O MY YOU HAVE A BIG BUTT" needless to say my mum was embarrassed.
also when i finally picked a name for my DS Dantae got again one of mmy little sisters (5 yrs) very confused as to how my new ( married) last nime was pronunced which is BABIC. while out at the shops they say to a small group of people who asked what im going to name him they yell at the top of their lungs DANTAE KEBAB...... after we all stopped laughing i had to explain their nephews name to them again
DD1: Mummy, mummy, mummy
Me: Yes Maddie
DD1: Me got baby in me tummy.
Me: Really.
DD1: Mummy, Mummy, Mummy
Me: Yes Maddie
DD1: Joshy got baby in tummy too.
Me: Wow.
DD1: Mummy, Mummy, Mummy
Me: Yes Maddie
DD1: Daddy got baby in tummy too.
Me: That's amazing.
DD1: Mummy, Mummy, Mummy
Me: Yes Maddie
DD1: Baby got baby.
So funny! We have lots of conversations like this everyday. For some reason she is going through a phase of saying our names a few times before telling us things. Very cute.
She has also started breastfeeding her doll everytime I feed DD2 except she put the doll on her belly button - quite hilarious to watch :)
I was cursing at the vacuum cleaner today when it wasn't doing a very good job of vacuuming the carpet.
DD saw me and came back with a different vacuum cleaner head!
How come my 2yo knows how to vacuum better than me :redface:?
Dh bought a beach buggy and after a LOT of pleading DD has came to like riding along (she was scared of the loud enjine noise) So yesterday we got into our super-cab Ford and dd were looking at the roof:
Me: Hon, what are you looking at
DD: You have to take off the roof
Me: Excuse me?
DD: I can't feel the wind in my hair
Miss smarty-pants.
DH was holding DD2, who was hungry. DD2 started trying to suck on DH. DD1 said 'New baby, don't eat Daddy. Eat Mummy instead.'
I love how their little minds work :)
DD1 told me this morning that if she drinks all her water she'll grow up big like Mummy, then she can drive the car :lol:
I was teaching my DD all the politically correct names for male and female bits and she became quiet obsessed with talking about them...
We had a few interested conversations...
1. (While watching a Wiggles episode about the Great Wall of China)...
DD: Mummy... whats that?
ME: Thats the Great Wall of China
DD: Hmm... The Great Wall of Vagina.
:lol:
2. (While hanging out with her Nanna)
DD: Nanna, what are those? (pointing at a box)
NANNA: Those are Chocolate covered peanuts, darling...
DD: CHOCOLATE COVERED PENIS?!!!
(Needless to say, my mother laughed so much she nearly wet herself!)
3. DD walked into the bathroom whilst my DP was having a shower..
She promptly walked out to me with a worried look on her face and blurted out:
'Mummy, where has S****'s vagina gone?!'
:lol: :lol: :lol:
She just cracks me up ALL the time!
Adam wears glasses 24/7.
I was just showing Zavier (3) the new baby Apple snails in the fish tank, and he commented on how big the parents were. I said to him, which one is the mummy, and which one is the daddy????
He pointed to the closest one and said, " Well he isn't wearing glasses, so it must be the mummy,the one up the back must have glasses, so he is the daddy"!!!!!
:lol::lol::lol:
He really is gold this child!!!
I told him that the snail couldn't wear glasses, and he said "Oh yeah, they would get all wet anyway"!!!! :lol::lol:
As though getting them wet was the only reason a snail cant have glasses.... :D
Crazy things come out of DD! Hilarious things that leave people gobsmacked and leave me rolling laughing!
As a pre-empt she is a bit autistic in some ways (a lot of my family are though so it's not a surprise and so far it's not a problem) so i think she might be more literal even than most normal nearly-4 year olds...
A few weeks ago we were at the museum, and DD was near a large floor sticker with the solar system on it. A member of staff, obviously paid to engage the kids, said to her "oooh, look at this big ball here!" and DD replied "Do you mean Jupiter?" I didn't know where to look! LOL.
We were at friends and their dad had out a paper with an article about a local science park with a planetarium, and DD and he were looking at the pics. He pointed to something and said "see all the tiny lights" and DD SNORTED and said "yeah, that's a galaxy". He turned and said to me "how much does she charge by the hour?" LOL.
We were on the bus and DD was showing a fellow passenger her bedtime teddy. The old lady said "oh i'm very cold, do you think he is cold?" pointing to the toy, and DD replied "i doubt it, he's just a soft toy, he's not got any blood".
And one last little funny, on our morning walk this morning we passed a place that makes headstones. DD LOVES looking at them, and so she likes to stand and gaze through the fence. She said to me "mama, i like gravestones, can i have some little soft one's for my bath?" and i said "um, i don't know if they make those!". A little silence and then "i love graves mama, yeah and gravy!"
Bx
Oh love it.. Espcecially the teddy bear/cold/no blood one!!
My much younger cousin has mild autism and comes out with some beauties similar to your DD's! He tends to think literally also.. very blunt, upfront and doesn't recognise social cues. Most of the things he says are retold as we live in different states .
I did however get to hear first hand a few about 18 or so months back when we lived closer I had taken him to my relatives (other side of the family) pasta making shop. My uncle has a thick accent and is quite difficult to understand at the best of times so when he started to talking to Jacob (my cousin) Jacob turned to me and said "Does he not realise English is my first language, can you translate please or get him a chalk board to write the words down?" Um my uncle was speaking English.. :redface:
The pasta making machine is fascinating, espeically for someone like Jacob who really gets a kick out of finding out how things work. My uncle said to him "So you like this machine, you can help me make pasta when you are older" to which Jacob replied "When I am older, you will be dead" harsh but quiet possible!