Funny things kids say & do

Maddison was in the bath about age 3 & I was in the shower facing away from her shaving for a night of romance with DH...
We lived in a unit & the elderly people in the back unit were outside our bathroom window gardening...
Maddison says "Mum you missed some hair, I can still see some between your legs" I turn around & give her the look of 'SHHHHHHH' She says, "Well you have you've still got a patch of hair on your vagina!"

Funnily enough DH was out in the backyard talking to them whilst gardening & not having English as his first language comes inside & tells me "The neighbours are weird they both began giggling for no reason!"

HAHA!! What a laugh!

My 3yo dd comes out with some beauties too - especially now that ds is here!
DH calls dd 'chops' and ds 'steak' don't ask me why - he's strange...anyway we were all sitting down watching tv, Janae comes in and walks over to the rocker where ds is, puts on her best 'baby' voice and says 'Oh there you are you little mistake'. HAHA it was hilarious!!!

Bel

I'm PMSL at these stories!!!

They remind me of a long running story in our family..

When my sister was born i was 2 and a half. I used to tell people all sorts of things but when sis was a couple of days old we walked down to get the mail from our letterbox as the postie arrived.I promptly announced to the postie that "my mummy had blood in her fanny"!!!my poor mother has never been so embarrassed in her life and quickly shuttled me inside. Needless to say i never saw another postie until i was 18!!!

Hahahahahahahahahaha PMSL :cryinglaugh: What we all have to look forward too huh? That's a classic.

I was once watching my granny put on her make up in the bathroom and I asked her what she was doing and she said "Making myself look beautiful" and I said "Well it's not working is it?" LOL She laughed and laughed at that one.

I have had the toilet commentary too BUT from James in the ladies loo. All I could do was laugh & turn bright red as we walked out of the cubicle & had to face all the women waiting.

PMSL. I have way too many of those moments. I remember once when Joel was little he was only a skinny. Anyway we'd been telling him he needed to put on weight. We were having dinner at Pizza Hut and there was a rather large man standing next to us. In his loudest boice possibe "MUMMY, YOU KNOW HOW I HAVE TO PUT ON WEIGHT, DO I HAVE TO GET THAT FAT!!!" Of course the man heard him and I quickly apologised, but you should've seen the look.
Kids - you got to love them

Awww they're so gorgeous and innocent at this age arent they? Only 2.5yr old can get away with it!

Lucy is almost 3 and has a fascination with body parts, she likes to tell people in the supermarket what they have (in case they dont already know!) So we'll be walking down the aisles and she'll say "Look mummy, lady has boobies!" and when they lady smiles at me (usually) Lucy often then turns to the lady and says "My mummy has boobies!" and tries to lift up my top to show them off!

That's priceless Kellie, I can relate, Mitchell tells me and everyone else in the toilet for that matter that I do wees from my bottom and him and Daddy do them from their Willies! You often here a few giggles coming from the other cubicles!! Too cute though.

Since Harry was about 2 we have had animals in our drain who drink the bathwater as it empties. It started when he asked me why the bath was so noisy when it empties and I told him there was a friendly dinosaur who drinks the water! Well he was happy with that explanation and has never been scared of the water sucking down the drain. Recently the dinosaur turned into a cat, as Harry decided the water sucking sounded like a cat (and it does a bit too), so we had 'Mr Cat' in our drain for a couple of weeks, but now he is gone and we have an elephant instead! :D

When Olivia used to ponder on where the bath water all went we told her it drained down the pipe, down the hill into the bush to give the koalas a drink.........(we have koalas in our garden.....so this made sense to her......)

Last night I came out to find Noah sitting at the dining room table playing. Upon closer inspection I found he was playing with my tampons. I asked him what he was doing with them and he told me there were his space ships. He had started to unwrap one so I let him play with that one but took the rest off him. They are too expensive fo r him to play with,

What things have your kids found ammusing to play with???

ROFL Trish. That reminded me of my sister. When she was about 2 and a half, she got mums good old surfboard pads and had them all stuck to the wall of her bedroom. The entire pack. And they weren't like the ones we have these days. They were the really thick ones with the thin adhesive strip - so there were all ruined.

Erin has done herself up beautifully with my makeup. I can't think of anything Lindsay used to play that he shouldn't have. Paige is yet to do anything like that.

Maggie plays with the cat flap, she loves putting thing out it. So far I have found the remote control, her socks, hairbrush, biscuits and pens. Oh and she likes to walk around with DH's undies around her neck (clean of course).

Astrid, glad to hear that the undies are clean :)

Jillian and Sherie, I can't count the ammount of times my boys have gotten into my make up. It's a real pain especially if you buy stay fast foundation. It really stays fast to your white quilt cover....

Joel - my eldest, decided to "help" with the washing when he was little and emptied a box of Lux soap flakes and fabric softener all over my laundry. Smelt great but a buggar to clean up. Oh yeah, he was also good for sitting at the fridge and smashing the eggs on the floor. Even worse to clean up. Runny eggs.... Bleeerrrggg

Kameron had all my good makeup in the sandpit. I haven't brought makeup since. That is really the only "personal" items the kids have got into that i know off LOL

Love

Our bath doesn't always make noises as it's draining so when it does we have the conversation "Who put the noisy water in the bath?" "Did you put noisy water in the bath Alexzander?" "No? Maybe daddy put the noisy water in?" "Nooo it wasn't daddy, it was mummy!!!"

LOL about the tampsons Trish. My friend's mum told my friend's little brother years ago that tampons were for bloody noses. Sooo when he had one off he went to the bathroom & came up with a tampon shoved up him nose - at 10 years old hehehe!

Zander's into bras, he'll get them out of the clean washing and wonder round the house with them. He also has an obssession with all of my sister's bras. She has the funky ones with charms, ribbons, gems etc on them so nearly every time Zander see her, he pulls her top down to have a look!


Trish, doesn't miss Tehya have a thing for sling shots ;)

Olivia loves the junk mail.......will sit on the floor for ages "reading" all the specials! When she was younger her favourite game was to play with all the attachments/nozzles out of the vacuum......she went through a month of inisting on taking the upholstery brush bit to bed with her........strange child........

Charlie has just started crawling and is also fantatical about the dog flap....but his favourite is to trash the vertical blinds.......

PSML Sarah. I forgot to mention girls that a few weeks back DP friends were over and Tehya decided to go through the dirty washing basket and walked out into the loungeroom with one of my black g strings. Marks mate saw it first and says "oh look a sling shot" was very embarrarssed to say the least.

Maddy never got into anything, Indah gets into the dog biscuits & sucks on them before sharing them with Poppy!?

But I was mortified the day I went for my license I was 18 & 3 days!!!
I had done my driving bit, was waiting to have eyes tested & then the photograph before getting paper license... They called my name, I stood up in a room full of people, I was nervous & dropped my handbag, a stack of tampons fell out & rolled all over the place about 20 of them! I grabbed my bag shoved my purse back in & kepy walking, as i turned back there were all these people scuttling around picking up my tampons off the floor, I pretended I had no idea & that they werent mine, but this one guy about 30ish was yelling "Miss, excuse me miss, you dropped your" Then he just stopped & didnt say anything... I was bright red!!!! I wish the floor would open up & suck me in....

Usually I find the $100 toy pushed to the side & the plastic box is all the kids are playing with.

I bought Maddy for her 2nd birthday a very expensive doll it was $119 it would talk, drink, pee etc, not baby alive but like that, it was on special & so I grabbed it for $104, I was so excited, she unwrapped it & said, Oh, I hate dolls!!!!

She loved the spoon, bowls, nappies, socks & the box, but we agve the doll away 6 months later to the poor kids!!!! (we donated it to an orphanage in Bali!)

Alex loves playing with tampons, he says they're his "big crayons"?!?!?!?

Ned prefers dirt and grass to anything else. Including milk arrowroot biscuits. He'll put the biscuit down and eat the grass!

We've managed to hide more of the "personal" items... a la "Parenthood"... ;)

I was visiting a friends house who has a daughter the same age as Molly and she was having a rough time, was exhausted etc. Anyway Molly and her friend were jumping on friends and DH's bed when Molly came out with a (used YUK YUK YUK) condom asking "What's this mummy". Friends obviously hadnt cleaned up from the night b4 and was SOOO embarrased. I was in shock and grabbed the wipes i had in my bag and washed Molly's hands like never b4, LOL! OMG it was bad, but i can laugh now :)

OMG Kel, I would've been mortified, as I'm sure your friend was. I am laughing, but truely I feel terrible for doing so :)

My GF's daughter came out with one of her mum's "toys" one day and wanted to play with it.

Ahhh, don't you just love kids :)

Some background first, my mum looks after Zander on Fridays while I work. In winter she always has lip gloss cos her lips get cracked in the cold. So for the last few weeks she has been putting it on Zander & with the lid on he has been "putting it on" her and himself.

Tonight we were at a party for Zander's godmother, it was with her friends & we had only ever met one of them before, and Zander had only seen her once or twice (Kirsty). So tonight at the party he was playing with my lip gloss happily by himself. Kirsty came over, puckered her lips & said to Zander "can I have some?". Instead of putting the lip gloss on her, he leaned over and gave her a big sloppy kiss.

I've just been reminded of a really funny story from Thursday....

Zander was supposed to be sleeping but he was in his cot calling out MUMUMUMUMUMUM.
I went in & he starts talking then did this fake laugh. It was the funniest thing!

Kimberley's latest funny saying is "daddy you are too old to play"

Atm, Nicholas keeps calling Rob 'babe" as this is what Rob and I call each other most times. Its kinda cute but people look at us if he says it out in public.

LOL Kazz our Nicholas does that too

My in laws take Nick swimming every saturday, so last saturday they took him and when they brought him home MIL couldn't stop laughing, i asked her what she was laughing for and she said that Nick had embarressed them at the swimming centre, apparently when MIL took him into the changing room he did a "bottom burp" he then turns to MIL and says
" Nan, i did stinky farts" All the other parents started laughing and MIL didn't know what to say:eek:

How cute is this - Zander has a table that he puts his drink on, when he's finished his drink I tell him to put his drink on the table, same goes for apples, biscuits etc. So this morning he was reading his books & when I finished reading one I told him to put it back on the table and get another book for me to read. I was actually meaning on the table where some of his other books are kept, but off he toddled to his "drink table" and put his book there. Awwwww.

Also this morning I got him out of bed & he ran into the loungeroom straight for the cupboard where the stereo is and started dancing!! I followed him in & he looked up at me & started dancing more obviously. I asked if he wanted the music on and I got a big nod :) Can you tell we were listening to CDs yesterday!!

We have had huge hassles here lately. Shannen is almost 13 and starting to develop rapidly, OMG!! where has the time gone? Anyway, the other night she had just jumped out of the shower and Tayla realised that Shannen has hair down there! That caused the biggest commotion ever! Tayla vowed that would never happen to her, and if it does then I will just wax it all off!! Thankfully I have explained the joys of AF to both of them, again, got the "not going to happen to me" routine! I wish it was that easy!

Hayley has just learnt to take all her clothes off, what fun that is! Its freezing here today and she has taken everything off except her nappy, and she hides the clothes too! Hayley will dance like mad to the Veronicas, but nothing else!
She also yells at the AFL on TV, spends way too much time with her aunty I think! Hilarious to watch!

Oh I thought of one, but it's not Zander.

I was about 20-ish weeks pregnant when me met Cailin for the first time. We were staying at her place over the weekend & it was near Christmas so we exchanged presents. Paris gave the baby a little blue teddy bear (who's name was "Blue"!). She then asked me if he could come out & play with the teddy for a little while. I explained to her that we had to wait until the baby was bigger before he came out to play. She was happy with that & off she went. For the rest of the weekend if I didn't have Blue with me she would find him & give him to me saying, "don't forget this is for the baby in your tummy."

This thread cracks me up so much

I think Yasin is spending too much time with his kitten. A few days ago he was watching Mr Bigglesworth clean himself. After staring intently for a few minutes he tried to stick one leg up in the air and then bend over to lick his bum. The look on his face as he toppled over was just priceless.
Yesterday I got some grapes on a saucer for Yasin and left them on the coffee table while I went to the kitchen to make cup of coffee. When I came back out Yasin had climbed onto the coffee table and was on his hand and knees trying to eat the grapes out of the saucer!! If only I'd thought to take a photo.

Zander loooves emoticons at the moment, every time I'm on MSN when he's up he squeals, points at them and tells me all about them. Just now I was talking to Fletch & she has a baby kicking I think in utero. She said that ones probably too boring cos it doesn't move much, but as soon as Zander saw it he pointed & went "ooooh" :D

I hope this one isn't too rude!
I was in the shower yesterday and Mason decided to strip off and join me. He loudly declared that "Mummy your doodle has fallen off!"
ROFL I hope he doesn't decide to repeat that observation in the supermarket queue!

And yet another one from Zander....

We taught him that when his dinner is hot, we blow on it. So now whenever we say something is hot he blows on it - the heater, the oven. The funny thing is he doesn't quite differentiate hot & cold yet, so when he had ice cream at Granny's house the other night he was blowing on it!

My daughter Elyse was just two last fall, and was playing in the kitchen while I was doing the dishes. She was playing with all the plastic containers "making supper". When her "supper" was ready, she called me to come and eat, and so I sat down on the floor beside her, and "ate" the supper. I oohhhed and aahhhed about how yummy it was, and the whole time, she just sat and watched me. When I had finished, she looked at me and smiled and said, " It was cow p@@p, Mom." I just about died laughing. :)

We was in the process of selling our house, as people do they stopped in front of the house to look and read the board. My 4yr old son was riding his bike, he goes up to the lady and says why are you looking at my house, you can't buy it, because it's a yucky house!!! She said but mummy and Daddy are selling it !. Nope you can't have it it's my house!!!
How adorable he loves his house sooo much he's telling everyone that comes buy it's yukky!! Pretty smart, i thought!!

My eldest James when he was 3 yrs old, we went to church on one sunday morning, in the middle of service he stood up on his chair and said "it's comming" then it came one huge burp that echoed through out the hall and interrupted service, i was sooooo embarrassed, everyone was in stitches laughing, even the minister!!.

haha! i have to laugh... a few years back we were at a family lunch at the local football club when my oldest son (then 4) announced he had to go to the toilet. My mother being the lovely grandmother she is offered to take him while i fed my other young son. After being in the loo for so long i thought i would check to make sure mum wasn't having any problems. i almost got to the door when my son emerged shouting back in through the door "don't forget to wipe your bum grandma". needless to say everybody in the club had a good giggle.

Kynan's fingers love being up his nose. One day we were out shopping and I had Kynan in the hug a bub. We stopped at a cafe and ordered lunch and as we were ordering I noticed the lady smile at Kynan. I looked down at him thinking he was being all cute and adorable but he had a finger shoved up each nostril PMSL!

This happened today while we went shopping.

We were driving up the street and had to stop at the pedestrian crossing and this Tongan woman walked across sporting this fantastic afro hairdo. Erin is sitting in the back and as this woman crosses, Erin asks "what is that black thing?" I took a deep breath and asked "What black thing?" and Erin says "On that ladies head" I just burst out laughing and it took me ages to stop long enough so I could tell her that it was the ladies hair.

When one of my brothers, Matthew, was 2 (or there abouts, probably older) he would call a Truck a f*ck. And he'd get really excited so Mum & Matthew would be walking around some where, he'd see a truck and yell out "Look Mummy, a F*CK! WOW what a big F*CK!". He also learnt about male & female body parts, once Mum, Matthew, my sister and another one of my brothers were getting on a bus. He pointed to all the men saying "He dot a penis" and for the women it was, "She don't dot a penis".

When I was 4 I was sitting on Mums lap. I grinned up at her and said "You're going to die before me!" She said "well, that may be true, but why do you say that?" to which I replied cheerily, "Because you have wrinkles!". I think when I was about 4 I told a really lame joke (I'm embarressed just thinking about it!) when my parents had a lot of friends over. Everyone laughed and I got upset, cried and ran out of the room! Hmm I don't like being laughed at :doh: