Funny things kids say & do

Zander must have been reading Chloe's post... Our cat was sharpening her claws the other day on the carpet. Zander watched her doing it then was stomping his foot and making a "ch ch ch" noise to copy her!!

Also last night when he went to bed he got all snuggled in with his ted, then reached out for Claude (his rumplecat). I passed Claude over to him & Zander took his spare dummy and tried to give it to him!! Too cute :)

We were cleaning the bathroom yesterday, Zander sitting on the step next to the bath & me in it. I had just finished rinsing the cleaner off & said to him "does the bath look beautiful now?" He leant over had a bit of a look and went "ooooooh" which I'm guessing means yes LOL!

LOL @ Paris' Nana comment Cailin.

Noah and I were having a shower the other day. Nothing unsual, he often see's me naked (poor boy) anyway he see's my tattoo on the top of my thigh (rather large) and he says Mum you had a big lolly to get that tattoo didn't you, and a small one to get that one ( a smaller tattoo on my back) I had to laugh at him because he is talking about the tattoos you get in with the bubble gums LOL.

I just walked past my 6yr old son and said to him

"Hows it going, young man?"

His reply??

"Pretty Good, old lady" :crying: :crying: :p

My mum keeps telling me to watch what i say in the car as Molly (3) will start repeating it and i have been trying to curb my road rage, but obviously not succeeding. Molly was pushing her trolley around the lounge room yesterday when she stopped and said "honk honk move it grandpa!" PMSL, i will really have to control myself LOL

Hayley is being hilarious lately. Now if I tell her that something is naughty, dont do it again, she smacks her own hand! if I ask her does she need a smack? She nods and then smacks her own cheek! Not sure why as I have never smacked her at all. She is also doing the blowing on anything hot, especially empty coffee cups, its really funny to watch!

her latest trick is to wait until no one is watching and throw the dvds on the floor, but silly girl does it so noisily that we all hear her and are now trying to teach her to put them back!

This morning while Noah was watching The Wiggles o n ABC, Tehya went in and changed the channel on him. Noah is sick at the moment and very sooky, so anyway he gets the craps and tries to change it back but couldn't find te channel. He yells out "well, that's just perfect!" and comes out to have a sook to me. I give him a cuddle and tell him to go back to the lounge and try again. He goes in and sits down.

In toddles Tehya who goes up to the TV and puts The Wiggles back on for him.

Just goes to show you, if you want something done properly, ask a female :)

Yasin is crazy about DH and tries to copy everything he does which probaby explains why he pulled the front of my shirt forward this morning, looked down it and said 'helloooo' ROFL.

I've got one :)

Marisa: Daddy, what's this?
Dad: A Cassette Tape
Marisa: Mummy I have a cassette tape
Me: Yes you have!
Marisa: Can I break it? I want to take the tape out!
Me: No! Please don't break that tape, it's a special one.
Marisa: Okay. Mum, where does a cassette tape go?

Times are changing fast!!! I feel SOOOO old!!!

LOL.. these are funny! I haven't got any of my own stories to tell.. but will tell one about my bro!

My mum: How many smacks do you think that deserves?
Bro (not sure how old): *thinks about it* Three!

So my mum had to give him 3 smacks.. otherwise she would probably only have given him one! hehe What stupid kid asks for 3 smacks! LOL

Ivana, my dad used to give my sister a smack bum in case she was naughty (this is from about 9 years onwards, not a big hurty smack), so she'd get upset and he'd ask "do you want me to take it off?"
"Yes!"
She'd get another smack.

This still works and she's 23 now. So there you go, another one who asks for extra smacks!

LOL - gee i've been having a great laugh :cryinglaugh:
I have to share this story involving my almot 3 yr old neice, Leila. She was in the loungeroom watching T.V one morning, her mum had gone back to bed for a bit. Suddenly Leila came rushing into her mum's room with a pale, serious face yelling "mummy, mummy, there's a bird stuck in my nose - hear it!!!" and she pushes some air out of her nose (which was a bit blocked) and it made that little whistling sound. My sister has a chuckle and says "no sweety it's not a bird" - then Leila responds "maybe a monkey then!!!!"
Gee i PMSL when i was told the story!!! Funny little thing :)

Alexzander is standing in the middle of the loungeroom at the moment with lemon toast (toast with lemon butter) in each hand and his straw cup of milk in his mouth!! It just looks so funny!

His new trick as well is to rub his back up against things like it's itchy, you know like a bear scratching his back on a tree?!

2 year old William was at Grandma's yesterday, and we were told that he went up to a photo of a car that had been cropped, (one of the wheels was missing and part of the boot was missing) and tried to find out where the rest of the car was. Grandma & Grandad said they couldn't move they were laughing so much at Willie going round and round the photo trying to find the missing bits:)

My then 5 year old DS was at preschool last year, and when I picked him up for the day, he proudly presented me his cut and pasting picture he had done. I had a quick look at it, and did a double take, had to look harder, He had cut out and pasted quite a few little pictures of half naked women onto it,,,,apparently one of the magazines that had been donated to the school had one of those ringtone and wallpaper ads on the back, and it had lots of bare chested girls pictured as available wallpapers. I showed his teachers, who went bright red, and decided to screen all magazines from now on lol.

As for the tampons, my eldest,(10), and my 6 year old son, walked into my room looking for me, and found my 4 year old going through my nickers drawer, and they decided to pull out my tampons and play with them all,,,,,,so in I walk, and find my eldest copying that add on tv (the one with the boyfriend playing with the cat with the tampons). He was dangling one from the string, chanting "mousy mousy" I almost died right there on the spot.
That same 10 year old child, has asked me if mummies are bedwetters, i answered no. He then went on to tell me that they must be, as the ad on tv says they need those pads with the special sides to "help keep them drier", so in his mind, they were like little nappies for mums who wet the bed ROFL I really must give him the birds and the bees speech, but DH is against it yet.
2 years ago, we rented a house next to a housing commission one, and the single mum there, had 2 little girls, and was heavily pg with another. One day while she had a nap (while her little girls were having theirs too), the eldest little girl who was 3 woke up a bit early, and decided to try to feed their little rabbit. She went to the cupboard, and decided that rabits ate nesquik strawberry milk (because it is the rabbit milk) so poured the whole tin into the hutch lol, unfortunately the rabbit died after eating it.

Aww poor rabbit.

LOL at the tampons, dont you love it even though it is embarrassing.

DD 3 1/2 somehow knows that babies come out of your bottoms. The other day we were discussing the fact that I had to stay in hospital for awhile due to me having a c/s. I breifly explained what was going to happen and she instantly told me that she wants me to have it out of my bottom so that I dont have to stay. OMG. I then had to explain to her that I would be going to hospital either way ans she is now pretty fine with it.

Also she has now taken to saying embarassing things at the wrong times, like in a public toilet- you have a big bottom mummy.(at the top of her voice).
We live in a non-smoking household and when ever we go past smokers(whether smoking or not) she always goes ewwwwwwwyuck(sound like a corby) what smells. I'm not embarasses any more as kids are honest and it is truthful.

Love

When my Niece was 4, we looked after her for the day, and she wanted a peanut butter sandwich for lunch (which she was allowd to have BTW) when we gave it to her, she bit into it and gave it back saying "I cant eat this" , "why not" we said. She replied with "It has toenails in it"LOL it was crunchy peanut butter, and she normally had smooth!!!!

LOL - that's funny Ally!!!!!!!

My 3yr old niece was chatting to me while i was having a shower this morning - as she does!!! She's become fascinated with the body now and says to me, pointing "Auntie - they r ur boobs - they r big !"(and i think oh how sweet - cause they really aren't) Then she says " mine are little like Uncle Paul's - but not with all the hair!" (screwing up her face as she says it). Boy i had a chuckle - can't wait to tell DH :laugh:

PMSL Rae, gee she's cheeky! But this is the same little girl who said to me 'Suz read me a book' (while pointing to her little set of table and chairs) and says 'but you can't sit there, you'll break it' !!!!!!!

I love reading this thread and finally have something to share. I rang my Aunt last night to tell her I'm pregnant and my 12yr old cousin was eavesdropping (as you do) and all of a sudden the penny dropped for him that I'm having a baby because he suddenly whoops out "Yay! I'm going to be an Uncle!". He was so crestfallen and got teary when my Aunt explained that he will be my baby's second cousin and he will never be an uncle because he doesn't have any siblings. The last I heard from him was his feet stopping away and him yelling in a sulky voice "Well, she can just keep the stupid baby then!". I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard!

I went to see the strippers last nite with a bunch of girls, anyway we all wore the party hats that look a bit like tiara's. James got in the car with me before & found mine & asked what it was, when I told him he told me it was a crown & I should put it on coz then I'd look like a princess!! I sure felt like one with my precious almost Mr 4 telling me I looked like one. I've still got the grin on my face.


ETA: I just burnt a batch of anzac biscuits & he saw me throw them in the bin, when he asked why I told him coz I burnt them & they are no good to eat. So he watched me make some more & as I put them in the oven he told me to try not to burn this lot ~ & in a sarcastic little tone too!!

Plus we've just done some craft stuff ~ some painting & sticking stuff & he made one for me. He then proceeded to tell me it was my lucky day coz he made it for me & it was his lucky day coz I took him down the street to get the stuff in the first place & that it was even better coz we saw whales on the way home!!

AAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!! We just bathed William and dressed him in his pj's. Isobel was still in there having a play, so I left her there while I finished getting tea ready. Next thing I know, she's behind me in the kitchen, but I still heard splashing sounds from the bathroom. Sound suspicious? William had just climbed back into the bath, clean clothes and all! We had to fish him and his blankie out and completely re-dress him!!

LMAO! We have been telling Evan that he has a bug & that he needs to cover his mouth when he coughs so he doesn't give it to anyone else.
Well last night DH coughed without covering his mouth & Evan piped up and said "AWW NOW I HAVE ANOTHER WORM DADDY!!"

Was so funny. did you mean Bug Evan, "Oh yeah another bug!"

Zander has taken to carrying his pillow, Ted & Claude (his cat) around the house when he gets up of a morning for some reason. If I get him out of bed without any of the he will point and say whichever one he wants until I get it!

This morning though he came to the loungeroom with only Ted & his pillow. After he was dressed he was playing in his room and he calls out "mum" and I called back "yes" to which I get "mum" again. I called back "whats the matter" and he responds saying "MUMMY" which he uses only when he reaaally wants me! So I went in & he says "caw"!! The funny thing was Claude's head is too big to get through the bars of the cot so he was standing there with Claude's body out, yanking at it trying to get the head through!!!

There was a radio thing a while ago where people were ringing up telling their most embarrassing kids stories. The one that stuck in my mind was a poor guy who went to a camping ground with his wife, baby and three year old daughter. While his wife was feeding the baby he took his daughter to the communal shower block. It was packed, so they waited for an empty stall and he took the girl in with him. As he was washing her, his 'dad bits' were knocking against her. All of a sudden she yelled out ' DAD! STOP MAKING ME TOUCH YOUR PENIS!" The whole shower block went quiet, then when they were done he had to walk past all the people looking at him like he was the worst person on earth. He was so embarrassed he went back to their campsite, packed up and left.

When I hold Kynan up to the mirror I say 'kissy kissy' and he leans out, opens his mouth up really wide, and gives his reflection a big sloppy kiss LOL. So cute! And the other day he went to kiss one of our cats on the nose. She leaned in at the same time to sniff his mouth LOL.

Almost 4 year old Isobel came into my bedroom wearing her undies on her head! She called it her "knickse hat"! I was ROFLMAO! The photos are going to be great at her 18th...:)

Another Kynan moment. We were waiting at the OB's the other day and the receptionist cleared her throat and coughed. Well... Kynan loves coughing, thinks it's very funny. A second later he starts doing a series of very fake coughs, copying the receptionist. Very embarrassing LOL!

Aaron reads Zander a book every night before bed called Time For Bed Pip so when he's in his jammies he goes to daddy and say "dad pip?". On Monday night Aaron was out and as soon as Zander had his jammies on he went look for daddy.... So he's running round the house going "daaad pip?" "daaaaaaaaad pip?" "DADDY PIP". He was most unimpressed when I told him daddy wasn't home & mummy had to read pip tonight. He wouldn't listen & just took off to his room ready for bed.


ETA: this one happened just right now!
Zander was in his bedroom playing while I was out in the laungeroom on BB. I could hear him knocking & shouting something. I assumed he was knocking on the study door (which is next to his room) shouting for daddy. Sooo I left him to it. A minute or so later I thought what is he up to shouting so much.... I got up to go see him & realised he had shut his bedroom door & couldn't get out!! So the poor little guy was knocking on the door shouting for me to come rescue him * I thought he was playing :cryinglaugh:

Omigod these stories are so funny I'm in tears. The one about the little boy who said the Ronald Macdonald statue was his daddy was my favourite!

I don't have kids yet but my friends do and they've said some pretty funny things around me.

One of my friends is very petite and has a very small chest. One day her 4 year old daughter grabbed my boobs and said "Look mommy, boobies! Where are yours?" She was so embarassed but I couldn't stop laughing.

My friend's 2 year old son who doesn't speak a whole lot yet, got a call from his grandma around Easter, pretending to be the easter bunny. He wasn't fooled for one second though and immediately piped up "get real grammie"

My friend was trying to teach her 3 year old brother about crossing the street safely. She explained that the orange hand signal meant stop, and the little white man signal meant it was safe to cross. She stressed how important it was that he never cross on an orange hand but to wait for the little white man to appear. One day they crossed the street and went into a corner store. The man behind the counter was dark skinned and her little brother looked at him and said "gotta wait for the white man" She was mortified!

I can't remeber anything I did as a child at the moment though I do remember putting water in my potty so my mom would think I had gone pee so she would praise me. I never understood why she wasn't fooled.

On the weekend we were getting dressed and ready to go out for the day. the shirt I had layed out for Noah had writing on the front that said, I'm Trouble. Anyway, Noah asked Mark what it said and Mark told him. Noah tried to pull the words off the front of the shirt and said that he didn't want to wear it because he didn't want people to know he was naughty :D

I said to Mark he needs to do alot more than not wear that shirt then ;)

Marisa was chatting away to me in the car the other day about things that annoy her. She's going on about 'I don't like this' and 'I don't like that' and 'mummy, when people say THAT (i forget!) to me, I get sooooo p*ssed out!'

I had the dilemma of telling her not to say it or she said it wrong LOL :)

Another one from Zander.....

He was just sitting here holding the phone pressing buttons - 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 LOL then he put the phone up to his ear and started talking. He was chatting away for a bit, did this big fake laugh and said buh bye. He then put the phone down and went off to play with his toys!

I have to tell u about this hilarious thing my 3 yr old niece did about a month ago. She was here during the day, and as i look after her quite alot she has a box of her own toys and things here to play with. She went off for a sleep with one of her little plastic dolls. I hadn't realised there was a pen within her reach in my room - where she slept!!!!!!!! Later that night when my DH went to our room to go to bed he says "What the..." and begins to laugh. I come in and see that she has completely drawn all over her doll. But what was funny was she had pulled down the dolls pants and had very clearly drawn a mass over the dolls 'lower region'. We had a big chuckle.
The next day when she came over we had friends here for dinner (SuzL actually :)) and she was asked about it .My niece replies " yes - i drew on her bottom...and on her sexy" OMG - where on earth do these children pick up such things :D

I have some funnies that I remembered from Brandon. When he was about 2 I guess, I would ask him what he wanted for a drink, milk, juice, water, milo etc anyway oneday he turned around and told me that he wanted Yourlo..... Took me abit but I worked out that he was talking about Milo, as in MYLO. LOL.

Also when teaching him his ABC's, I would say them and he would repeat after me, A,a, B,b jump ahead to S,s, T,t, U, me!!! hehe atleast he knew what the opposite was :)

My 6 year old nephew was in the bathroom the other day and was getting very frustrated. My SIL went down to see what the trouble was. She found him with wet hair and trying to style his hair like Superman (you know with the curl at the front). He however has short and kind spiky hair which of course wouldn't do what he wanted it to do. He continues trying for a little before giving up and saying "Stupid hair". Hahahahahahaha

Also, he and his brother (4 years old) share a room, on their door they have a sign that says "No girls allowed, but mummy can come in"

When we told Ds then 10 - we were pg - he said loudly " do you mean you do it " with a very disgusted look on his face.He was so embarassed we would tell someone else about being pg (and we did it).

Then this time round when 12 - when we said we were having 'twins' - he said " man that's gonna hurt" with a smile on his face .Dh & I almost choked on our dinner ... he knows where they come out !

When he was 5 he watched the pregnancy/birth edition of the Human Body -unbeknownst to me.Then one day I was cooking dinner and walked out of kitchen to another room to check on him and ... he told me he told Miss R... his kindergarten teacher how the baby comes out from mummy's gina all covered in blood,lots of blood but it's okay she is not hurt , the mum screams a lot but no one is hurting her etc... I was so shocked I forgot I had pasta cooking on the stove and burnt them. I asked him where he saw this ... he said on your 'bideo' .It took a while to figure it out and I avoided the teacher the rest of the year.

When he was 3 he called his 'penis' a 'penis' and MIL lived in a Granny flat out back... one day he saw her naked (well he did lots she didn't care :eek: ) and he asked her "Nanny where is your penis" ?

The not so funniest thing he did at 2 was vomit all over the tram in Melbourne during peak hour - we were visiting Melb. and in middle of tram he says loudly ... "I gonna bommit mummy" - I had nothing handy not even a jumper - I say 'no D.... wait till we stop" ... he says it again louder ... to the amusement of a tram full of snickering adults - but we were sitting opposite the conductor guy and he shoves a plastic shopping bag at us - too late ...
DS goes "blurrrghhh,blurrrghhh,blurrrghhh" and we half miss the bag ... all over the aisle ... more snickering as he says 'I told you I going to bommit mummy' ... we also had to stop oursleves from :cryinglaugh:

A few weeks ago just after I had the babies ... SIL told nephew (4) we were going to see Aunty Trish and the babies.The boys were in special care nursery so she told nephew he might not be able to go in - but he could see them through the window maybe - he says " Has Aunty Trish got a window in her belly ?"

Thought I'd share something funny Emily said the other day.

We were walking thought a sports store and Emily and her dad walked passed a Huge punching bag on a stand...

Emily said to her Father, "Look Daddy, a big doodle".

LOL

Tanya

(maybe with lots and lots of Viagra??? and one of those enlarging devices you buy from the junk email???)

We have: "Daddy's got a penis, and Ned has a penis, and I have a penis, and Mummy's fell off..."

Zander is a crack up with learning new words - his toy Nemo for the bath is called oh no!!

my niece is funny. Her brother has a doodle and her dad has a NOODLE. *L* Apparently because it's bigger, it's a noodle.