Funny things kids say & do

Lilias, I love the story about the toysers! :D

Another DD one... we've been talking about how we are human, and DD had a bit of trouble with the idea that she was a little HUMAN girl, not just a little girl. So she thought about it and thought about it and then, on the way to pre-school announced that "My friend Jake's dad is a human!"
I told her she was quite right. And then she told Jake's aunty, who'd come to drop him off, and who promptly rang Jake's dad. Apparently Jake's dad walked in his door that night and said "Hooray! I'm human!"
(the funniest part for me is that he looks a lot like Skeletor.)
:D

So I took the girls to Ikea today (very brave I think!! lol)

Anyway, DD (3) is skipping around the store singing over and over: "It's not a not a shop, it's a city! It's not a shop it's a CITYYYYYYY!" *throw arms in the air, jazz hands*

:rofl: Gold. If they had have filmed it it would have made the best ad.
I think I have a budding Ikea addict :D

:rofl: Lime, so true!

I saw my nephews last night, and my sister tells me Mr2 has a new trick. She gets his attention and goes 'Whatcha gonna do?' and he crosses his arms and goes 'NO DEAL!' :spit::rofl: Apparently he even knows what time it's on, and has a meltdown if he can't watch!

We were at kindergym today and as a warm-up exercise the teacher was singing a song about going to the moon. DD interrupted saying, "scuse me, scuse me, I don't want to go to the moon. I've got a sore tummy." Teacher ignored her. Ten seconds later, "scuse me, scuse me, my friend Tyne's been to the moon. I like Tyne."

Her latest trick is to shout to people who are getting in their car when we are getting into our car (like at childcare or the playground). She yells, "bye, byeeeeeee. We catch you up. We chase you in the car," making me look like a crazy stalker. Thanks DD.

DS has a rather twee Noah's Ark story (or Noah's Boat, as the book doesn't use the word "ark"). It's not my favourite book, but DS requested it.

Long preamble, then Noah built his boat and God sent the animals two by two. Then there's a question and answer bit in the book.

"The puppies came two by two. What do the puppies say to you?"

Liebling thought for a couple of seconds. "Erm... please may I come on your boat?"

DS is learning about Colors atm and loves pointing to things and telling us what color it is.

One such conversation today went like this...

DS: mouf, gink (mouth, pink)! Eyes, ite (eyes, white)! Teef, eeello (teeth, yellow)!


:/ Thanks kiddo, nothing like innocent honesty to make you feel good about yourself.

:

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DS has a rather twee Noah's Ark story (or Noah's Boat, as the book doesn't use the word "ark"). It's not my favourite book, but DS requested it.

Long preamble, then Noah built his boat and God sent the animals two by two. Then there's a question and answer bit in the book.

"The puppies came two by two. What do the puppies say to you?"

Liebling thought for a couple of seconds. "Erm... please may I come on your boat?"

---

That is the sweetest thing I've heard for a while!

not so sweet, but i cant stop laughing.. Ds1 talks in his sleep sometimes... df was walking up the halway talking to me when suddenly from the boys room..
"shut the **** up"

yup. i am the most awsome mum ever.
and yes that is the f bomb there. he will get away with it this time, ya'know sleep taking and all

Watching inside the human body the other night and the lady was birthing DD1 asked what it was, we said a baby and she asked "is her bum falling out" :rofl:

Then yesterday that new song I NEED A DOLLAR came on, DP has been singing it to the girls and they know the chorus, all of a sudden DD1 says "i think he needs a trolley" i was like "what, why" and she said "i think he needs a dollar for the trolley" :rofl:

Dd1: *whinging* I want some chewing gum!
DH: no kelti, you have to be 4 before you can have some, that's the rules.
Dd1: I WANT SOME CHEWING GUM!!! *tanty*
DH: NO kelti, you're not 4. That's the rules. I don't make the rules.
DS: *pipes up from the couch* no...mummy does....

Damn straight!!! Lol

At work yesterday - discussing the importance of drinking plenty of water as it helps us to poo properly with my schoolies (one had been blocked up for a while!) - Miss 6 pipes up "yeah and you need to drink lots of water for your vagina too hey, cause I've had problems with my vagina before when I didn't drink enough water" the serious face that went with it was priceless!

Haha, ausgirl that just cracked me up!
I asked DD (age 2.5 then) once if her "wee wee was sore" (it looked a little red).
She then proceeded to inform me, "mum! its not a wee wee, its a vagina!!"

lol

Bahahahahaha love these!!!

DD followed DS into the toilet and asked him what he was doing and DH informed her he was doing a wee as that's what big boys do, they wee in the toilet! She then said "Daddy, where's it coming from?" DH freaked out and said "umm from my wee wee!"

Yes we have discussed using proper words like penis and vagina but he freaked out :rolleyes:

DD thought about it for a sec then said "Daddy I'm afraid of wee wees!"

:rofl:

DH thought to himself "That's right princess, so you should be!"

:rofl:

One for Doctor Who fans:

DS2 woke at 11:30 last night & wouldn't go back to sleep so I took him out to the lounge and started watching Doctor Who on iview, the episode where the Slitheen have infiltrated 10 Downing St. When they take off their human discuises and go into their alien forms DS2 looks at the screen saying "baby, baby" They do lok as bit baby-like I suppose.

LOL, DD was watching playschool...

'Mummy, I like Vagina'
'What??'
'I like Vagina'
'Vagina...?? What?!'
'On playschool, Vagina is my favourite!'
Ooooohhh....Jamima, her name is Jamima, you like Jamima?'
'Yeah, she's a girl.'

Glad we cleared that one up!

*TMI*

DS is toilet training. The other day he took himself to the toilet and ran out to tell me he did poos!
"Fabulous!" I said, as we walked back to the bathroom.
When we got there he looked in and proudly announced "SAUSAGE poos Mummy!"

Sometime in the best couple of days he told me he had done spotty poos. Which, on inspection were more pellet-y.

Apparently "poos" isn't descriptive enough...

My sister is pregnant with no2. No1 Her DS is 5. He said mum I have 16 questions to ask about the baby. 1. Will you love it more then me! 2. I want to know how it will come out. Before sis could answer he said I'm very worried that when they cut you open to get the baby out your food will spill out to. Sis said to her DS that sometimes babies come out a ladies vagina. Puzzled for a while her DS said I didn't know vaginas had holes in them. He then said mum I think that's enough questions for a 5yr old and he thinks he needs some things kept a secret until his an adult. The following day he goes to his mum my sister and says mum I've been thinking about how the baby comes out and I'm glad you have a hole in your vagina because if you didn't the baby would slip down your leg and get stuck at your knee PMsL

:rofl: that is awesome!

lol! we cant have that!

Oh I love this thread. Always makes me giggle. A few from recently.

DD: shhh... What was that?
Me: not sure. I didn't hear anything.
DD: I think it was a burp! I thing Daddy must be home!
Me: no, Daddy's at work. Maybe it was DS.
DD: (very thoughtfully) no, it sounded like a man-burp. I think Daddy is home!


DD: Mummy, if I drink my water really, really fast and I have a cut in m finger, will the water come squirting out my finger?


DD: Come on DS (14months), come in here. We're getting married and you have to be my husband.... (DS oblivious and ignoring her) .... Come onnnnnnn. DS, COME IN HERE!! MUUUUUMMM, MY HUSBAND WON'T COME TO MY WEDDING!

And... more cute than funny, but it's still making me smile...
Mummy, see these flat bits here? When I grow up they'll get bigger and I'll have boobies. And then I can give DS my boobie milk. (oh so sweet, but I don't thing there will ever be a time when I can tell her about that and she won't just be grossed out by the idea of breastfeeding her brother!!)

pmsl @ "my husband won't come to my wedding"

When toilet training DS1, he farted and then asked 'what's that poo noise'? My sister said that it's a pretty good descriptor for farts!

Told DS that we had to go to the shops and get washing powder and he replied with "and dryer powder too?"

DS1 (7yo with global delay) asked his SSO at school if he could see her nipples, then proceeded to tell her " mummy's nipples are huge!" luckily the SSO knows me, has a sense of humour, and just assumed he had seen me feeding DS3.
She told me the story a couple of days later.

Just now when I was carrying DS through the shops on one arm-
DS: "hold my other bum, pease Mummy?"
Me: "how many bums have you got?"
DS: "one, two. Two bums"

I finally worked out he wanted me to holds him with both arms.

Amelia's not really speaking much yet, though she can say very short phrases (don't know how that happened, but we run with it :lol:). About ten times a day we have this conversation:

Her: (pointing) Wassat?
Me: Cat/dog/tree/bus/dodecahedron. Can you say [whatever it is]?
Her: (with a look of complete surprise akin to this emoticon - :o) WHAT?!

The other day DS was drinking juice and goes "mmmm this juice is yum mummy.... It's sick orange".... I'm like "sick orange????" " Yes mummy it's SICK ORANGE JUICE, you know!!!!" Me " oooohhhhhh you mean blood orange" :rofl:

My dd 2.5 years walks in to the lounge room last night looks at the tv and says " big brother? What the heck? Why didn't you tell me it was on?" Couldn't help but giggle then had to explain she shouldn't say what the heck. Lol

A friend of mine told me she her 3yo DD was lying down getting her nappy changed, and she stretched her arms out in relaxation and said "This is amaaaazing!"

Getting changed after a shower and DD (2.25 yrs) leans right down in front of me, looks up and says "Mummy has a big vagina". Hmm - thanks DD!

i just checked in on DD who was in her bedroom. She is wearing a nappy (was having a 'rest' so i had put a nappy on but she has had undies on today), carrying a handbag and has undies on her head.
"why are the knickers on your head?"
DD replied "later"
"your knickers are there so you can wear them later?"
"yep, knickers later."
ok then.

Girltwin drew a picture of our family but forgot to draw DH. She went to add him and then said to me "I tried to draw Daddy but I made a mistake and drew a potato instead" :lol:

Asked DS2 to come to me. He replied "yes, your highness". Good boy!

DD asked dh if he had boobs and dh said boys dont have boobs.

Then she said "yes they do but they just dont go down to their belly like mummys!"

Thanks!

DS7, watching Bear Grylls... 'How come you never see the cameraman?'

Um, yes... He's my clever son :p

I offered a friend's kid some mandarin. He said "orange". I said 'it's like an orange, but it's called a mandarin". He said "you say it like this- O-range, orange"
:lol:

This happened last night

DD shows me a blank piece of paper and goes "look at my rainbow mum"

I reply "wow its beautiful"

She then goes to her daddy and goes "look at my rainbow daddy"

Daddy looks at the blank paper and goes "where? I cant see it

DD replies "its a pretend rainbow. Use your imagination daddy!"

DD doesn't like having her hands trapped inside her sleeves. It's a big deal when dressing her that her thumbs are fully out and she can see them. It mostly happens when DH is putting her pjs on after a bath so he's trying to do it quickly.

It's hilarious, last night he told her "I've gotta put your arms in the sleeves, they'll be out quick ok?" She did her gorgeous wide-eyed nod, so he raced to get her arms through the sleeves. But as soon as her hands are in there she's got this really worried look on her face and she's yelling "Uh oh! Uh oh!" until she can see she can see her hands :)

While watching tarzan there is a scene with young tarzan in the water where he gets a fright from a hippo and DD called out "Ow (cow)" and i said "no darling its a hippo, can you say hippo?" she looked at me blankly, thought about it and said "no mum, it OW! :lol:

Then the other day she woke up from a nap and i was on DPs computer, she was in her room calling out mumma, she walked down the hallway "mumma? mumma...?" then saw me in here and said "oh, here mumma!" and she walked over to me saw a dvd of the aristocats on the floor started meowing and said kitty so i asked if she wanted to watch it she said yes and got very excited. I walked her into the loungeroom with her saying "meow, meow...." then she stopped and screamed out "I WANT COOKIE!!" :rofl: i have never laughed so much!!

Last night i wasn't feeling 100% so i went to bed early, DP cooked the girls dinner, got them dressed in their PJ's and put them to bed.
After dinner DP started the dishes and DD1 said "dad do you know what your doing" :rofl:'

Then this morning she had mismatched PJ's on, i asked her to bed them under her pillow and she says "dad put PJ's on that don't match, you never do that do you mum" i said no and her reply "i wasn't very happy, how silly is he" :rofl: