Hey MD, I am so not an expert on this, nor do I even have any experience with a 3.5 year old but DS is just turned 2 and he has his dummy at bed time and during long car trips as well. He also has two sleep toys, one in particular he is very attached to.

From what you've written, (and without knowing your daughter obviously) I'd probably hold off on taking 'decisive action' at this point. I think by 3.5 she is well into the habit of having them for sleep. Has she shown any signs she might be ready to get rid of the dummy? I would probably start talking about dummies and that eventually she will no longer need the dummy, that dummies are mainly for babies, that she can keep it as long as she likes etc but that it's ok to stop using it. Arg, I'm not really wording it that well but I think I'd just be looking for natural opportunities to bring up the subject in general conversation and then gauge her reaction. Would she be into trialling going to sleep without it for a few nights to see? Could you make it a game or a kind of experiment? Are there any other examples in her world, friends who don't need them anymore for example that you could talk about?

I think that she's had it this long. And she sounds like quite a different temperament to your older daughter. Why do you want her to get rid of it now? Are you worried about her speech at all?

Good luck. I will be interested to hear what you end up doing and how it goes. As I said, DS is still only 2 and we have no plans to try and get him to give up the dummy at this point but I may well have a different view by the time he is 3.5.