How do you promote a positive self image within your daughter?

[Babyluv]

In regards to food we talk about it in terms of what makes us grow big and strong, gives us energy to run, good for our eyes for seeing things etc. My kids eat their fair share of junk food and it isn't associated with weight, but not doing good things for us. We acknowledge that it does taste yummy though.

DD1 especially is starting to talk about looking beautiful in a particular dress, or when her hair is done or something and I always tell her that yes she does, but that while it is a pretty dress or whatever, its her that's beautiful and not what she's wearing. We talk about people coming in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colours but that none of that makes a person beautiful or good - its what that person does and how they behave. Dolls, tv shows etc that show "plastic" people are discussed as being silly cos that's not what really people are like.

Spot on

[Babyluv]

Sounds good Minniemouse, I'd love to read it

[onthefly]

You know, I want to concentrate on achievements and capabilities when talking about my children and not focus on their appearance at all (inside or out). (Ok, maybe I have to stop fretting about DS' messy hair....)
As for eating, I actually think it's better not to make a fuss about it We're hungry, we eat - there are good food choices and there are other things we have sometimes.

[Traveller]

I'm probably in the minority here but I do talk about unhealthy foods making people fat. To all my children, not just my daughter. I see so many overweight kids and I want my kids to know that being overweight is bad for your heart, your joints, your fitness levels. I don't talk about fat being equal to unattractive, or anything like that but I do think it is important for my kids to know that some foods will be more likely to make their bodies grow healthy and strong, and other ones (and eating too much of anything) will have a negative affect on the amount of fat on their bodies. They think no less of fat people, but they do not want to become unfit and fat as they grow because they know that will limit them. As a result of that they are happy to eat sometimes foods in limitation and know the positive reasons behind healthy food choices.

For my daughter I try and do the same as I do with my boys. I compliment her strength, her kindness, her intelligence and how gorgeous she is, because all those things are true. I tell her I love her a dozen times a day and I believe that if she grows up feeling completely loved then she will grow up with a sense that she is worth loving, and self esteem will come from that.

[purplepixie1978]

Oh wow, where to start... I'm a high school teacher who has been heavily involved in the welfare team almost my entire career, and have helped (I hope) a lot of girls with body image issues. I also teach media studies so try to teach kids to deconstruct what they see in the media to try and undo the damage it does. Thoughts and words are insidious and unfortunately we women are inclined to deflect the positive and absorb the negative - brings to mind an old cartoon in which a little girl goes to school with a new hair style, everyone she meets throughout the day compliments her, until the end of the day when a boy says something negative to her... she goes home crying and tells her mum, "Everyone hated my hair!"

Some good suggestions above re sometimes food and every day food, as well as reiterating ALL the positives about your child, not just the physical. Can I suggest a book by Dannielle Miller, "The Butterfly Effect" - in the long term it has a lot of good advice on helping your daughter to combat the negative thoughts and influences as she grows up.

This also needs to be considered for boys - male eating disorders are on the rise, which is tremendously sad.

My DD is one year old this Friday and already I refuse to let people call her fat, I offer alternatives, eg rather than "She has such chubby thighs" - "I prefer strong." My MIL is a hard nut to crack on that, but crack it I will - there's a reason her daughters have such appalling body image...