I try to remember to do things like that. Ask them how they would feel, or how they think their words/actions are making each other feel. I also ask them how they think they could make up for it/help the other feel better (as in apologise, give a hug....)

I think I am becoming too caught up in it and I'm getting a bit to 'screamy'. Because I am getting so frustrated at the behaviors, I just rouse at them, tell them to go to their rooms, and then they just automatically apologise to each other afterwards. But they learn nothing that way. But again I don't want to be with them all the time, and micro managing them....