How did you do it? - 7pm(ish) bedtimes?

[MummaSue]

hey guys,

i have a 6 week old baby whos current bedtime is 11pm.
Everyone keeps telling me to get her into "routine" and get her bedtime earlier - but she is very strong willed, not to mention wide awake and wanting to play at 9pm.

How on earth do you enforce a 7pm bedtime on a baby? I refuse (repeat - REFUSE) to let her "cry it out", so how do we get her bedtime earlier - for her sake more than ours - I am more than happy to play and smile with her all day long

Is it true that she will "find her own routine"????
Thanks guys
Sue xxxx

[mbear]

Hon, i never, ever tried to get any routine happening until after 3 months...well and truly. I personally dont see how you can enforce a routine on a 6 wk old bub....she's been on this planet for 6 weeks and other people are expecting some routine out of her...its still all so new....

If your happy to smile at her all day long....why the heck shouldnt you ???

Seriously, you have ample time to get the routine happening...frankly, at 6 weeks old, i dont reckon it will happen....enjoy her, get to know her, and leave the routine for later.

ETA: i never used to let my babies sleep past 530-6pm when they your babies age...that way, by 7-9pm, they would be ready for another sleep....and this ended up being my bedtime too...
GL...

[Lulu]

Agree. I don't enforce a routine before 3 months. I encourage, but don't enforce iykwim?

ALL my babies (ok, cept for the sensory one) fell into a loose routine themselves that I shaped gently around the 3-4 month mark.

xoxoxoxo

[Kazbah]

Gosh - I was hoping I'd find out how to get my 3-yr-old into a 7pm bedtime routine ... but in all seriousness, they will find their own routine, guided by you, in their own time. First 6 weeks for me was spent only able to get Pip to settle on my skin, so to even get her into bed at 11pm is better than what I achieved!!!!

and goodluck

[Janie]

OMG, some people need to get a grip. She's only 6weeks old for heaven's sake, you have months and years to get her into a routine (if that's what you want). My DS1 didn't have a bedtime until 2.5, and we all survived! And it's still not a strictly enforced bedtime either - if he has a late day sleep, he goes to bed later, if he has no day sleep he goes to bed earlier.

Hun, chill out, and follow your little girl's lead. You might find that in another 6 weeks she seems ready to settle into a routine, or you might find that it takes another 6 months (not that I mean she'll still be going to bed at 11pm in 6 months ). And stuff what everyone else says, you're her mum, you know her best

[MummaSue]

Thanks guys, that is all I needed to hear!!!!!

Sue xxxxx

[Queen]

I feel your pain, and did not force a routine but once 7pm came, I treated her like it was night time.
So from 7pm I would cuddle/feed/change her in the room, no playing just plain old bored Mum, like a 3am feed. Does that make sense?
It took a few weeks but it worked. She now has her *own* bedtime of 6-6.30pm.

[beckoes]

DD didnt go to bed before midnight till she was about 6 months! i just started humming in my head when ever anyone started telling me to force her into a routine! slowly bed time got earlier and earlier. and it change DRAMATICALLY from month to month. sometimes she would be asleep at 5pm and awake for hours in the night. then the next she wouldnt go down till 9pm and would sleep till 5am. she got it in the end and now we bath at 7pm, feed, cuddle and she is asleep by 8pm 99% of the time! wakes once over night. she is 22 months.
to be honest the first year was pretty terrible when it came to sleeping, but only affected me if i worried i was doing the 'wrong thing' according to other peoples views.
A good friend of mine whos DD is now 5, got alot of stick from people about the way she parented, she fed to sleep, co slept, etc all the 'wrong' things (apparently ) and she was telling me the other day what and AMAZING sleeper her dd is now!!

I think the best thing a monther can do is listen to her instincts and her baby....and pick a good tune to hum in your head when people start telling you 'your making a rod for your back' hugs to you

[MummaSue]

Hehe, yeah I do all of the "wrong" things too (feed to sleep, co-sleep, cuddle her till she is "spoiled" etc).

I do worry about what other people say and take on too much from them - need to quit that hey? LOL

Thanks again people, you've just confirmed what I think in my own mind.

Sue xxx

[StrawberryMumma]

Eeeekkk 6 WEEKS?!...The people IRL that I know that try and get their almost newborns to go to bed at a set time, are just trying to get back to their pre baby life..where they could have peaceful evenings to do whatever they wanted..Very selfish imo! Defeats the purpose of having children if you're going to 'lock them away' in their beds even if they aren't sleepy.

The opportunity for routines will come in time.

Sounds like you are a wonderful mummy

[shellbell3]

Sounds similar to how DD2 was, I'd attempt to put her down at 7:30 and she'd see it as a nap and be awake til 11ish. Eventually she caught on, we didn't push it, we just stuck to our bedtime routine of bath, cuddle and feed then bed. I can't remember what age she did start sleeping at good time but it did happen! In the meantime I just would sit up in bed, have her on my lap or next to me (she slept next to me anyway for months) and we'd just watch tv or dvd.

[Catastrophic]

My best advice i got and now give in return... Is chilax and let it flow... as long as you are dealing with it then pfft to everyone else :-)

All my kids go to sleep by 730-800 but i have no idea how *i* did it... It just happened...

[MantaRay]

I wonder why it's so surprising that some babies are night-owls when so many adults are too! One of my DSs started used to like going to bed late as a young baby, and the other was an early to bed baby. Now that they are school/kindy they are both usually so exhausted at night that they go down easily by about 7:30pm. I really have found that life is much easier when you work with your child's natural patterns - some babies will sleep more than others etc. Otherwise it can just turn into a battle and no-one wins.

It sounds like you are easy going about it but feeling pressured. I think you are doing a great job - trust yourself hun. You know best.

[Frangipani]

I agree. Babies will do their own routine until their ready to slip into yours. However if you did want to encourage an earlier bedtime- maybe start a usual bed time 'routine' with her then- like thats when you do bath, put on her pyjamas, read, have cuddles, swaddle/grobag, and lastly feed and put to bed (whether this takes an hour or 2 or 3- doesn't matter). That's what i have always done from 7pm- do the get ready for bed thing. Even now we have a similar 'routine' for our 2 year old as our 4month old. I've always just done it this way to separate day sleeps to night sleeps (cause DS1 seemed opposite at the beginning) in the hope they learn to sleep longer- which they both started to do from about 6weeks. But then this might just be a coincidence.

Just do whatever feels right for you's and let all the info people are telling you that you feel you don't need go in one ear and out the other.

[~Kim~]

lol they're probably the people whose babies slept 12hours overnight at that age too

I've had two night owls now and with DS I was despairing he'd ever go to bed at a decent hour....then right before (like 2 days ) he turned one he decided that the 6pm routine we had done since birth finally suited him and that's when he goes to bed

Sue.

[Santosha]

Totally agree with what others have said. We had a little night-owl too. I think by about 3 months she was fairly consistently going down at about 10 so then I gradually moved it back 10 mins every few days.
The other thing that may help - and you're prob already doing- is less stimulation in that last wakeful period. Low lights, avoiding flickering light or too much noise from TV etc.

You sound like you're doing a wonderful job. Bub will find her own rhythm and in the meanwhile will benefit so much from having such a gentle, responsive Mummy around, even at 11pm!!

[black_rose]

It's best to follow your babys routine instead of trying to force them into your own at such a young age. As everyone else has said it's just about impossible for a 6 weeker to be down at 7 and if it did happen you would expect them to be awake about 11 for another feed. So just smile and nod and tell them how lucky they are if a friend says that is what they did.

I have cuddled and fed to sleep both my girls and these days they both go to bed around 8ish and self settle. It just happens naturally.

[aussienic]

Is it true that she will "find her own routine"????

Yes

We never worried too much about bed time when they were that age.. Just when they went down for an evening nap they went into their bedroom but most other naps were in the lounge..

for example.. If bub went down for a sleep around 5ish then we would pop them in their cot.. any other day time nap was out in the lounge with us. We didn't do it for any other reason except we liked them close..

Around 10-11 months all 4 of my kids have worked their own way into a 7pm bedtime and we still have that now..

When bub is awake at 11 do you have all the lights on ect? When my bubs were awake at that time I would still watch tv or play on the comp but I would turn out the lights so they knew it was bedtime.. Occasionally I would go lay down with them when I was really tired just so they would go to sleep..

I am sure soon enough your little one will be sleeping at that hour.. Does she sleep through from 11 and till what time?