A bit similar to Arcadia once i put DD in her cot i'd still have my arm really close to her (kind of slide in under the cover so she still feels my arm and can smell me), then once she seems settled in her bed i'd remove it.
I think you mentioned a comforter also, if you haven't already... it's great to tuck it into your top for a day or so and get your smell on it, then try using this at sleep times. DS will love to smell you. But comforters can take some time to become favourites, DD is 8 months and just starting to show an interest/comfort in it.
Feeding to sleep is normal, especially when this young. You will probably find it's a lot easier to change as they get older - indeed they grow out of it on their own given time.
Are you actually having a problem with the feeding to sleep or do you just think you should change it?
If hte problem is only sleeping while feeding, that is also something that will tend to change with time. You could go to your local library and hunt down a copy of the no cry sleep solution - it has some suggestions for this sort of thing. Also, do you have a sling or carrier? Sometimes just being snuggled in close with mum is sufficient substitution.
Hi all, I just want to change so he learns how to go to sleep on his own, and I don't want to cry I out....but that seems to be all the advice people want to give so was hoping someone had ideas on how to get him o send himself to sleep as during the day he needs movement and at night needs my breast.....any ideas?
You could try books by Elizabeth Pantley, William Sears or Pinky McKay - they all have 'gentler' ideas
Soem babies manage to sleep autonomously - the truth is it's pretty unusual. For eg, I read recently that a third of children up to the age of 4 still wake in the night and need help from parents to resettle.
Sleeping alone is just one part of their development - they all get there when they're ready and able to do it. Sometimes you can help them along, sometimes not.
It is hard work for parents, and especially mum, I know Sometimes it's better to work around it, rather than trying to force changes - nap when you can, have sleep ins on the weekend, etc.
Are you weaning him soon? Lots of babies will bottle feed to sleep too. The sucking is important for them to relax and go to sleep. Breast milk also has sleep inducing properties, so if you feed bub expressed breast milk it might have the same effect?
Otherwise, I would try and start using a dummy more...can you feed to almost asleep and then pop a dummy in? I do that with ds sometimes if he's comfort sucking.
While i breastfeed my little girl to sleep, if i am not there my DH has his own way of getting her to sleep. She has worked out he doesn't have boobs and he has worked out his own method for soothing and settling her.
I try not to worry about what will happen about things in the future, and just do what works for bub and i now. When things change (for example i am pregnant so my supply has decreased), together we find new techniques that work for us with the new changes.
Pinky McKay or Elizabeth Pantley are good authors if you are looking for something to read.
DS1 was breastfed till 7 months and went off to sleep breastfed, then once on the bottle he would bottle-off to sleep, then once on cows milk from a sippy cup would cup-off to sleep, then I remember rocking him till about 18 months off to sleep and then once he went into a big bed at just before 2 he did it himself, starting with me lying down with him, the time got shorter and shorter and now he just lies down and goes off himself. It is a journey but it is a developmental thing for them, I know you hear of babies who are just wrapped and put straight in their cot but none of mine have done that. The gentle sleep books do have tips but to be honest I can't be bothered with the patting, etc, I would rather just pop them on the boob and they nod off. It does happen eventually for them so don't be scared they will never learn, it just takes them a bit of time to get the hang of it.
I would try would be to set up a day/night routine for your little man. They are all just signs that your DS can start associating with sleeping and he'll be comforted by knowing what is happening and when.
Our day time sleep routine would be to take DD towards her room telling her softly it's time for a 'non nighs', change her bott, wrap her up, give her a hug and then we sit in the rocking chair for a feed. She has her feed and generally dozes off then i transfer her to her bed. I realise the feed/sleep part is what you're struggling with but with the other signs maybe the feed/movement won't be such a dependant association for him.
Our night time is pretty much the same... When DD wakes during the night though DH gets her and i lay in bed feeding her, when she's done i put her back to bed. I loooove doing this, it'd have to be one of my most favourite parts of the day but there were times when i think it was getting to be a bit difficult in getting her into her own bed. When she was cleary not settling because she wanted to be with me (which i loved but just needed some decent sleep) i made a point of getting up and feeding her in the rocking chair then putting her into bed.
Your routine can be anything you choose that works for you and DS but i have always found that my little ones respond really well to knowing what is happening and when from the signs that i give them. It takes time to set things up and it takes time to then change them if need be. DD is 8 months old and we've only really settled into something that seems to be working for the both of us in the last couple of months.
I hope this may have helped in a little way. BellyBelly is great for asking questions getting a variety of answers and then arming yourself with a number of ideas to choose what works best for you. Good luck and in the mean time enjoy your hugs
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Sometimes it's better to work around it, rather than trying to force changes - nap when you can, have sleep ins on the weekend, etc.
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