Have been pondering this for awhile and the Chrissie Swan commentary that has been going on has reminded me to post.
I am overweight and so is DH. The girls are a good weight. I do worry about their weight though, DH and I are not of a slender build even when not carrying extra weight. DH also takes an interest in their weight. We do what we can to teach about sometimes food and encourage them to be active. We hope we are setting them some good ground work for the future. I must admit though I do get concerned about judgement, that as "fat" parents that we will be judged more when we take the girls out for takeaway. I hate that I do, but I suppose it is the reality these days and I have caught myself passing judgement on other families.
I was wondering if other parents are like this? Do you look at your own weight in relation to your child/children? Do you even notice your children's weight?
I think so long as you're eating well, that will encourage your children to eat well. Like you said you're teaching them the right things about food and exercise. Sadly ppl do judge but they shouldn't.
I think I do. C is very slender, tall, has her father's genes. I doubt there has EVER been an overweight person in their family! lol I have no concerns she will ever be overweight.
M on the otherhand is shorter, thicker, and very much of my gene pool. I am now overweight, was overweight as a teen, and worked very hard to try and be and stay, thin. I am in the process of making a change to that, so I hope that shows them a good example. I am concerned that M will have to work hard to maintain a healthy weight - being a fat teen is not fun and not something I want for her.
I do but more from a build perspective. I'm not that worried about dd1 as she is built like dp, long and lean. She is pretty self regulating in terms of food and appetite. Dd2 on the other hand has my build so she will probably have more issues with weight. I try not to notice or focus too much but sometimes I can't help it as I can see that she is so much like me.
My weight did not really hit till my early 20's, but I was pretty curvy from early teens, which was often mistaken for fat, especially in some of the lovely 80's fashion. I remember the taunts from back then, mainly from family members sadly, so I am acutely aware of how weight/build can have so much affect on the school years.
I definitely do this. It's even more accentuated ATM because we're in America on holiday. DD I have no worries about. She is so slim, always has been, weighs 10.5kg at age 2. DS on the other hand, I worry about. The kid just eats so much. Not even unhealthily, but quantity. I have to stop him by giving him really small first portions because he always wants seconds. I weigh more than I look, iykwim - took after my dad who is a very heavy (and overweight) person and I fear the same for DS.
It goes to show that it is genetic though, as I feed both of my kids the same thing!
To top it off he's not as active in jersey as I'd like him to be, purely because the activities aren't there for him to participate in. I'm hoping that will change a little when he starts school in September and they keep him active, like in Aussie schools.
I'm giving my kids a breast-fed start in life, a diet based on fresh food, and activities shared as a family, none of which I had as a kid, but which should all act as protective factors in my kids' having a healthy weight. But there are a lot of big people on my dad's side and let's face it they still don't really understand how genetics factor into hunger and satiety so who knows? What I do know is that my daughters are not being taught systematically by their mother to hate their appearance like i was so that has to count for something I hope.
Weight is only part of the health equation. There is exercise too. We try to make sure the boys run around outside a lot. Having a trampoline helps because kids love to bounce and they play sports as well. DH is an avid wrestler and back-yard footy player for which I am very grateful.
If you eat wholesome food most meals and get plenty of exercise then you'll probably be doing ok in the blood pressure, heart health, cholesterol, functional fitness areas even if you aren't built like a supermodel.
I am overweight, but DH is not and he does not have large people in his family either. His family are all tall, lean people mostly. My family are different. On my mothers side they are all apple-shaped which is the worst shape for obesity related health conditions and both my mother and her sister have diabetes which they need insulin for. My fathers family are different - he is a solid, stocky build but not fat. I am identical to his mother - very curvy with a tendency to gain weight around the hips, thighs and butt with a pot belly so I get my genetics from his side of the family. Looking at the kids, I have 4 average weight children and two are lean bean poles and the other two are heavier in the legs. They are not fat by any means and I think if they were going to be, they would be now as I was already 'overweight' with a pot belly by their age. I'm not concerned about it, and they have a decent diet and a very active lifestyle, however I do know it is more about being healthy as opposed to being a size. Has anyone ever looked into Healthy at Every Size? Its quite interesting.
Stats indicate that if both parents are overweight - then the child is 70% likely to be as well. DH and I are both overweight. DH goes to the gym 4 times a week so is very fit, but his diet needs improving. My diet is really healthy but I rarely exercise (combine us both and we'd be fine hahahaha)
Anyway, it makes me very conscious of how we raise DS from a health and nutrition perspective. His diet is great, like mine. I was a healthy kid and it wasn't until my 20s+ that I became overweight. DH on the other hand was fed a terrible diet by MIL (who's cooking and ideas about nutrition are simply terrible) and was overweight from a toddler and has been ever since. DH often comments that he wishes he was raised differently as the legacy this has left has a big impact on him now. So we are really conscious of the message we send our kid/s with our actions AND words.
I honestly think one of the best gifts you can give your kid is good health, and getting out and being active with them is a massive thing too - I agree that its not just how many KGs a person is - eg not just a number on the scales or the size of clothes that determine your Health/Weight etc
However - I ultimately think its a parents responsibility - they are the ones who stock the pantry/fridge and make the food choices for the family. I think about this alot too Astrid, and and trying to be really smart about balancing self esteem, diet, weight and health. Now that I am having a daughter I think about it more too, as I worry about the influences she will have with regard to beauty etc
I hate to admit this but I do worry, especially about DD2. My daughter's have different fathers - DD1's father is the skinniest thing in the world, fastest metabolism and I can tell DD1 takes after him (she was nightfeeding till almost 3 and wakes up starving, tiny little thing but eating constantly) and I'm pretty small myself, never been out of healthy ranges and although am curvy, I don't imagine DD1 will be. My curves (breasts and hips) were something I was SO self concious of as a teen but have grown to appreciate as I've grown older, if DD2 ends up like me then I hope I can help her to appreciate it sooner... her dad was overweight for his entire childhood and most of his adult life, he is now within healthy ranges but is a solid person. DD2 is a huge baby, 99th percentile (8.2kg at 4m)... I feel awful for worrying about how she will go but especially am concerned with how different my two girls seem to process food... I can imagine DD1 eating anything but maintaining a slender petite figure while DD2 will probably always have curves and have to work a lot harder... I will always try to focus on health but I know teen girls can focus on the other side...
I can imagine DD2 being jealous of DD1 as a teen but as they grow older it will probably flip... or before... or both... I don't know, you always want what you don't have so I just hope I can help them to see that beauty comes in so many shapes and being healthy is what is important.
I worry about my sons. Ds1 is short and lean, ds2 tall and stocky. As for diet - well, with me they have healthy food. But dh is the sahp and he gives them pies, potato gems or other frozen snacks for lunch & dinner. Luckily ds1 loves his fruit and veg so nags dh for them, but dh just can't be bothered to cut up an apple for ds2. And dh doesn't drink water, so he's always giving ds1 juice or cordial.
ATM both my bigger kids are taaaallll and not an once of fat to be seen. They are super active. But out of the 10 people in DH and my immediate families, my brother and I are the only two that are not morbidly obese. DH is working on it but that's for him really as he lives away.
Like MD said I breastfed them all, I provide and encourage a wide variety of fresh food and make activity part of every day. Even the baby is included. They come to the gym with me and run/cycle while I run. We play a lot outside (yes we live where that is possible every single day thank goodness). We also have always done BLS in an effort for them to regulate their own hunger.
I am trying to lose weight from DD2's pregnancy atm but I'm really careful not to talk about it in front of the kids (am eternally grateful for the weightloss thread ATM lol). I remember my whole life my mum was on a diet or calorie counting. She was actively watching our weight as teens too So not the way to learn.
I think being active makes a huge difference. I was a ballet dancer and my DH was an international hockey player. We both grew up dedicating ourselves to something active. We were always on the go and will be encouraging our girls to be the same (I'm not concerned about them taking it to a professional level just want them to find something that they enjoy that keeps them active). In saying that we bob come from families that do not have weight issues. My DH has type 1 diabetes so exercise has always been extremely important to his health even after he was no longer playing at an elite level.
So for us encouraging exercise is so important in our family not so much being concerned about weight.
Janie - this is true. DP and I walk or ride our bike everywhere. Our kids rarely get driven places and when they do they don't like it much. They walk or ride bikes to school and CC and also just recreationally. They see DP and I ride to work every day - rain, hail or shine so it is a normal thing for them. They also swim, do gymnastics and dance. They are on the go a lot which I think is the thing that will make a difference - they see activity as just part of everyday life, not as exercise.
I do worry about my girls, at the moment though they are perfectly fine and well within the 'range' for their ages.
BUT
Growing up i was the girl with the bigger more 'athletic' build, the problem with that is i NEED to be super active to stay within my limits, i'm a big girl, i'm overweight and throughout the years i have never been SKINNY, i was always a little bigger no matter how fit, no matter how well i ate.
My girls are super active and i intend to keep it that way, teach them that eating well and being active is the key to be HEALTHY (notice i don't say SKINNY).
DP is quite big, he has always been big (nickname was chubbs) - majority of his family are big - think short people, big build.
My family are Tall people, big build - my mum is obese, my dad has a decent beer gut (rivaled my PG belly) but he has always been active and eaten well.
I hate that people look at a chubby child and automatically assume they eat cr@p, they dón't exercise etc etc.
There is a little boy in DD2's swimming, he's about 4mths younger than her and weighs as much as DD1 - he has so many gorgeous rolls and already wears size 4 bathers BUT talking with his mum this kid eats almost exactly what my girls eat, he exercises and is just as active it's just that he is a bigger boy and he is GORGEOUS.
I'm trying to keep myself thinking positively, the things i know now as an adult can help me with my girls... i don't and won't restrict nasty foods, i encourage them to get outside, be active and enjoy gettings muddy & messy and i will teach them that moderation is the key... i'm working on all of this myself at the moment and it's these things i didn't do as a teen/adult that would have made a HUGE difference.
My mother has an eating disorder. Still. She's in her late 50s. Her obsessions, traits, quirks and hospital admissions were always 'explained away' when i was a kid. Now i know better.
I am so pleased that so many of you mums have said that you eat well and try to exercise and avoid talk of fat and diets. And i do think this influence has more of an impact on the same-sex children (i.e. the same-sex as the parent ITMS). I was confused as a kid and i did think that women and men ate differently (i.e. females couldn't be seen to indulge or enjoy foods - well, only in private or hidden). Genes did play a part in our family too - of course they do in all families. My poor sister had it even tougher. No matter what she did she could never change her fabulous figure - and now she has all the breasts and i'm sooo jealous!!
Leading by example. I hope i do it as well as you all do too.
Your weight and your childrens' weight
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So not the way to learn.
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