thread: Your weight and your childrens' weight

  1. #1

    Oct 2004
    In my Zombie proof fortress.

    Your weight and your childrens' weight

    Have been pondering this for awhile and the Chrissie Swan commentary that has been going on has reminded me to post.

    I am overweight and so is DH. The girls are a good weight. I do worry about their weight though, DH and I are not of a slender build even when not carrying extra weight. DH also takes an interest in their weight. We do what we can to teach about sometimes food and encourage them to be active. We hope we are setting them some good ground work for the future. I must admit though I do get concerned about judgement, that as "fat" parents that we will be judged more when we take the girls out for takeaway. I hate that I do, but I suppose it is the reality these days and I have caught myself passing judgement on other families.

    I was wondering if other parents are like this? Do you look at your own weight in relation to your child/children? Do you even notice your children's weight?

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jul 2009

    I think so long as you're eating well, that will encourage your children to eat well. Like you said you're teaching them the right things about food and exercise. Sadly ppl do judge but they shouldn't.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Dec 2007

    I think I do. C is very slender, tall, has her father's genes. I doubt there has EVER been an overweight person in their family! lol I have no concerns she will ever be overweight.
    M on the otherhand is shorter, thicker, and very much of my gene pool. I am now overweight, was overweight as a teen, and worked very hard to try and be and stay, thin. I am in the process of making a change to that, so I hope that shows them a good example. I am concerned that M will have to work hard to maintain a healthy weight - being a fat teen is not fun and not something I want for her.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Apr 2008

    I do but more from a build perspective. I'm not that worried about dd1 as she is built like dp, long and lean. She is pretty self regulating in terms of food and appetite. Dd2 on the other hand has my build so she will probably have more issues with weight. I try not to notice or focus too much but sometimes I can't help it as I can see that she is so much like me.

  5. #5

    Oct 2004
    In my Zombie proof fortress.

    My weight did not really hit till my early 20's, but I was pretty curvy from early teens, which was often mistaken for fat, especially in some of the lovely 80's fashion. I remember the taunts from back then, mainly from family members sadly, so I am acutely aware of how weight/build can have so much affect on the school years.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Oct 2007

    I definitely do this. It's even more accentuated ATM because we're in America on holiday. DD I have no worries about. She is so slim, always has been, weighs 10.5kg at age 2. DS on the other hand, I worry about. The kid just eats so much. Not even unhealthily, but quantity. I have to stop him by giving him really small first portions because he always wants seconds. I weigh more than I look, iykwim - took after my dad who is a very heavy (and overweight) person and I fear the same for DS.

    It goes to show that it is genetic though, as I feed both of my kids the same thing!

    To top it off he's not as active in jersey as I'd like him to be, purely because the activities aren't there for him to participate in. I'm hoping that will change a little when he starts school in September and they keep him active, like in Aussie schools.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    On the other side of this screen!!!

    I'm giving my kids a breast-fed start in life, a diet based on fresh food, and activities shared as a family, none of which I had as a kid, but which should all act as protective factors in my kids' having a healthy weight. But there are a lot of big people on my dad's side and let's face it they still don't really understand how genetics factor into hunger and satiety so who knows? What I do know is that my daughters are not being taught systematically by their mother to hate their appearance like i was so that has to count for something I hope.

  8. #8

    Mar 2004

    Weight is only part of the health equation. There is exercise too. We try to make sure the boys run around outside a lot. Having a trampoline helps because kids love to bounce and they play sports as well. DH is an avid wrestler and back-yard footy player for which I am very grateful.
    If you eat wholesome food most meals and get plenty of exercise then you'll probably be doing ok in the blood pressure, heart health, cholesterol, functional fitness areas even if you aren't built like a supermodel.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara

    I am overweight, but DH is not and he does not have large people in his family either. His family are all tall, lean people mostly. My family are different. On my mothers side they are all apple-shaped which is the worst shape for obesity related health conditions and both my mother and her sister have diabetes which they need insulin for. My fathers family are different - he is a solid, stocky build but not fat. I am identical to his mother - very curvy with a tendency to gain weight around the hips, thighs and butt with a pot belly so I get my genetics from his side of the family. Looking at the kids, I have 4 average weight children and two are lean bean poles and the other two are heavier in the legs. They are not fat by any means and I think if they were going to be, they would be now as I was already 'overweight' with a pot belly by their age. I'm not concerned about it, and they have a decent diet and a very active lifestyle, however I do know it is more about being healthy as opposed to being a size. Has anyone ever looked into Healthy at Every Size? Its quite interesting.

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Sep 2008

    Stats indicate that if both parents are overweight - then the child is 70% likely to be as well. DH and I are both overweight. DH goes to the gym 4 times a week so is very fit, but his diet needs improving. My diet is really healthy but I rarely exercise (combine us both and we'd be fine hahahaha)

    Anyway, it makes me very conscious of how we raise DS from a health and nutrition perspective. His diet is great, like mine. I was a healthy kid and it wasn't until my 20s+ that I became overweight. DH on the other hand was fed a terrible diet by MIL (who's cooking and ideas about nutrition are simply terrible) and was overweight from a toddler and has been ever since. DH often comments that he wishes he was raised differently as the legacy this has left has a big impact on him now. So we are really conscious of the message we send our kid/s with our actions AND words.

    I honestly think one of the best gifts you can give your kid is good health, and getting out and being active with them is a massive thing too - I agree that its not just how many KGs a person is - eg not just a number on the scales or the size of clothes that determine your Health/Weight etc

    However - I ultimately think its a parents responsibility - they are the ones who stock the pantry/fridge and make the food choices for the family. I think about this alot too Astrid, and and trying to be really smart about balancing self esteem, diet, weight and health. Now that I am having a daughter I think about it more too, as I worry about the influences she will have with regard to beauty etc

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Mar 2009

    I hate to admit this but I do worry, especially about DD2. My daughter's have different fathers - DD1's father is the skinniest thing in the world, fastest metabolism and I can tell DD1 takes after him (she was nightfeeding till almost 3 and wakes up starving, tiny little thing but eating constantly) and I'm pretty small myself, never been out of healthy ranges and although am curvy, I don't imagine DD1 will be. My curves (breasts and hips) were something I was SO self concious of as a teen but have grown to appreciate as I've grown older, if DD2 ends up like me then I hope I can help her to appreciate it sooner... her dad was overweight for his entire childhood and most of his adult life, he is now within healthy ranges but is a solid person. DD2 is a huge baby, 99th percentile (8.2kg at 4m)... I feel awful for worrying about how she will go but especially am concerned with how different my two girls seem to process food... I can imagine DD1 eating anything but maintaining a slender petite figure while DD2 will probably always have curves and have to work a lot harder... I will always try to focus on health but I know teen girls can focus on the other side...

    I can imagine DD2 being jealous of DD1 as a teen but as they grow older it will probably flip... or before... or both... I don't know, you always want what you don't have so I just hope I can help them to see that beauty comes in so many shapes and being healthy is what is important.

  12. #12
    Registered User
    Add fionas on Facebook

    Apr 2007
    Recently treechanged to Woodend, VIC

    I don't worry about my DDs weight because they're naturally tall and slim.

    However, that doesn't mean they'll never be overweight. I used to be slim but stacked on weight in my early thirties and then lost it in my late thirties.

    DD1 especially is very active so even if I fed her lots of crap, I doubt she'd be overweight.

    So from a weight point of view, I could be a lot more relaxed about her diet but I do make sure that she eats lots of healthy stuff and I also make sure she knows that treats (I hate that word as it sends the wrong message but still ...) are things that you only have sometimes. I never talk about food in terms of making you fat, infact I don't think she would even understand the word fat as she's never heard me say it, but I do talk about food that makes you strong/run fast (a high priority for DD1). Today, for instance, she asked me if she could have a packet of Tiny Teddies in her kinder lunchbox because another kid had one. I said absolutely not. I knew who she was talking about so asked her if the kid that had them was a fast runner. She said no.

    I especially like asking her whether she would like toast or Breakfast of Champions (Weetbix) for breakfast. Surprise, she normally chooses the latter.

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Mar 2009

    I worry about it too. Both Dh and I are overweight by about 8-10kg each. DD1 is really tall but is also alot heavier than her contemporaries. She has always been in clothes sizing 2 years above her age due to her height. She does however look in proportion for this height but is not the bean pole other people have described.
    We are trying here to focus on moving as much as we can, so outside wlaking, swimming and hitting the park as much as we can as a family. I walk her to school and back on my days at home. I walk/run and got to the gym approx 3 times a week to keep fit and healthy so hopefully they see this as a positive role model. I also am trying to get both kids (and myself) to conciously note when we are full. Although we eat fairly well I think we definitely eat more than we should. I am consicous of consuming empty calories so we don't drink juice here as a regular drink it is water only. Having said that I do let them have sometimes foods on occasions - so we don't have kids that binge when they are available.
    I also hope that a healthy self worth and methods of dealing with crisis and emotion will help as certainly this is an area that when I am struggling I tend to use as a crutch.

  14. #14
    Life Subscriber

    Jul 2006

    I think being a good role model with eating and activity is the best thing you can do. You can't change genetics unfortunately (unfortunately we all have genetic things we'd prefer we didn't). It's also important not to teach them to have body image issues, which I think is the trickiest part of all these days. A friend of mine lost a heap of weight, completely changing her lifestyle and diet, even to the point of doing serious athletic events, and never, ever talked about losing weight in front of her daughter.

  15. #15
    Registered User
    Add Kazbah on Facebook Follow Kazbah On Twitter

    Sep 2006
    Dandy Ranges ;)

    I worry about my sons. Ds1 is short and lean, ds2 tall and stocky. As for diet - well, with me they have healthy food. But dh is the sahp and he gives them pies, potato gems or other frozen snacks for lunch & dinner. Luckily ds1 loves his fruit and veg so nags dh for them, but dh just can't be bothered to cut up an apple for ds2. And dh doesn't drink water, so he's always giving ds1 juice or cordial.

    sent from the Hellmouth.

  16. #16
    Senior Moderator

    Nov 2004

    I'm morbidly obese. dS1 used to ve so underweight you could see every rib. People thought he had leukemia when he had short hair. It was awful.

    So it's not just about fat kids - you get treated differently if your kid is skinny too.

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Sep 2005
    In the middle of nowhere

    Yes I do too.

    ATM both my bigger kids are taaaallll and not an once of fat to be seen. They are super active. But out of the 10 people in DH and my immediate families, my brother and I are the only two that are not morbidly obese. DH is working on it but that's for him really as he lives away.
    Like MD said I breastfed them all, I provide and encourage a wide variety of fresh food and make activity part of every day. Even the baby is included. They come to the gym with me and run/cycle while I run. We play a lot outside (yes we live where that is possible every single day thank goodness). We also have always done BLS in an effort for them to regulate their own hunger.

    I am trying to lose weight from DD2's pregnancy atm but I'm really careful not to talk about it in front of the kids (am eternally grateful for the weightloss thread ATM lol). I remember my whole life my mum was on a diet or calorie counting. She was actively watching our weight as teens too So not the way to learn.

  18. #18
    Registered User

    Feb 2008

    I think being active makes a huge difference. I was a ballet dancer and my DH was an international hockey player. We both grew up dedicating ourselves to something active. We were always on the go and will be encouraging our girls to be the same (I'm not concerned about them taking it to a professional level just want them to find something that they enjoy that keeps them active). In saying that we bob come from families that do not have weight issues. My DH has type 1 diabetes so exercise has always been extremely important to his health even after he was no longer playing at an elite level.

    So for us encouraging exercise is so important in our family not so much being concerned about weight.