I agree that the transition for the whole family when a new baby is born is massive and takes time. We had a similiar age gap and I was shocked at how my nice little girl turned into a horror almost instantly. To be fair she was the centre of attention for everyone up until that point and then no one paid her too much attention at the time the baby was born. Add this to sleep deprivation and general 2yo stuff and it was not pretty. I had some advice to point out to her that we were having mummy and Zoe time when we went to bed and then do the same when she was having one on one time so she actually realised it.
I often look back on that time and feel like I hardly saw the baby - she woke, fed and got plonked back down. Luckily she knew no better! I think you just need to be kind to yourselves and give it some time. If you really feel she needs to be checked out then perhaps ask your MCHN her opinion. I would not worry too much about other people tho - it is a big change and often people who are not used to little kids forget how normal meltdowns etc can be. Do you have outside stuff you can do without going anywhere? Sand pit, water table, trampoline? I found being outside much better at expending energy and we blew and chased LOTS of bubbles in the early days between feeds. xxxxxx
You're not alone, I think all toddlers go through this stage, and throw into the mix a new baby, and its hard for them to adjust.
Have you got a sling for your newborn? I found if I put DS in that, I could then sit and do craft or playdo or something with DD. When we got to cranky o'clock, DS would go back in the sling, and DD and I would sing or we would walk up and down our long hallway, doing big steps, little steps, and so on. DS was happy because he was being held and we were on the mood, and DD was happy because I was doing stuff with her. Stickers were always good at distracting her when I was feeding DS, and tbh, the tv was a bit of a lifesaver in early days, as it was winter.
Have you got someone that can take DD for a break, and then maybe leave DS with DH or someone, and just take DD out for a special treat, without your DS? I also had DD in childcare 1 day a week, and I think we both needed that.
It is a stage that we all go through, so be easy on yourself
I think the others have given you some fantastic advice. But if in your heart you feel that something might be up it really doesn't hurt to give your MCHN a call or see your GP. If it is what other people are saying to you, not what you feel, then keep going. Like the others have said it's a huge adjustment for her and it will take time.
hey there 1pj.. i work in the child development area and would just like to say - dont be perturbed about the ADHD comment thing, its just one of those labels (along with the autism label) that people like to toss around whenever there is a child with a few behavioural issues..i dont know how many times i have had people say to me they think a child has adhd or autism when its really just a few difficult behaviours.. sounds like fairly normal toddler behaviour, as others have said, it is a time of big change and lots of adjustments to be made, so its pretty natural for young children to let you know through behaviours they are not happy about it if they are not so good at communicating that yet. one thing you said that stands out to me though is that how you say she has to have set routines - sometimes this can indicate a child that is a bit overly sensitive, in terms of sensitive to noise, touch, movement, visual input etc.. sometimes children who are a bit on the sensitive side and tend to over react to stimuli, have a need to have set routines so they can predict what is coming up next and not be overwhelmed by everything.. also that you said she has 'no attention span' could be an indication that she is a very sensitive child, sensitive to what she is seeing and experiencing around her in her environment, making it very difficult to concentrate on one thing at a time.. I think it would be worth seeing a paed just to discuss through your concerns, even it helps to reassure you that everything is ok.. and if there are any problems, that way you can get on top of them early which is really important when their are developmental concerns, but it might also be worth asking for a referral for an occupational therapist who could help you with any areas of sensory sensitivity - this is nothing to worry about if your child is more sensitive, its just everyone has different ways of responding to stimuli in their world, and some of us are more sensitive than others - as we get older, we learn to adapt, but for children, we need to learn ways of changing the environment, the task or our expectations to help them to cope better until they learn ways of coping themselves.. an OT can help you in this area..
Completely agree with the above post. Not fair of your sister to throw that at you either. It is not helpful. a better thing for her to say is this is an adjustment time but if you are really concerned go and speak to a MCHN or a peadiatrician.
When you think about it your DD started acting out when she could walk, talk and mummy became pregnant. All very big things. Now add in some more competition for mummy's time and normal developmental tantrums and trying to be independent (even though they are so dependent on us) and you have a nightmare. Just like my child when she was at that age. We have just hit 2.5y ears and have had a few good weeks as communication is improving so please dont feel defeated.
Do see someone though if you are concerned just as the above poster suggested. Big to you.
Reply With Quote
You're not alone, I think all toddlers go through this stage, and throw into the mix a new baby, and its hard for them to adjust.
Bookmarks