Mum guilt questions: was I unfair to my toddler when #2 was born?

[trishalishous]

I agree with counselling for you all. you have been through a lot.

[Mildez]

Your Dd sounds quiet similar to mine. Her father was abusive also and it has affected her mental health significantly. She is also incredibly gifted academically and doing exceptionally well at school despite everything that has happened to her.
DD went to camhs and I can honestly tell you it did nothing at all to help her. If anything it caused her more trauma. There is not much we haven't tried in the way of family therapy, psychiatrist, counselling, phychologist etc. what has been the best thing for her is actually her school counsellor.

As for feeling guilty I wouldn't about stopping BF or cosleeping.