One small step toward better parenting

[Santosha]

So I've been a bit of a slack Mummy lately. A bit too much TV and too few cubby houses and romps in the park. I've had a shorter fuse too thanks to a lethal combination of preggy hormones, lack of sleep and an increasingly defiant 2 yr old.

I KNOW I can do better. And when I do... when I really switch on and engage with my gorgeous girl, feed her well, show patience and empathy, switch off the TV and get down on the floor... we're all happier for it.

I get myself a bit overwhelmed with 'the things I have to do better' though. Build it all up too much in my head and then feel overwhelmed by how far I am from 'supermum' and just get demoralised. I've been thinking about trying to cut myself a break and just try to ensure that in ONE small way, I'm trying to make better parenting choices every day.

So thought I might share in case anyone else needs similar simple inspiration or resolve.

I'm talking simple things like switching off the Iphone and making eye-contact with your baby while you feed. Or sucking up the "but it's cold" and getting out there with the gumboots on for some serious puddle jumping. Or using a more gentle voice as you negotiate what will or will not be taken in the car!

So for me... tomorrow I will chat to DD in the car. We've got an hour-long drive to visit people and I tend to just turn on her music and tune-out a bit. But she loves it when we sing and talk about all the things we can see or what we've been doing. So if you see some silly lady in the traffic tomorrow making animal noises... that's me, and I'm working on my parenting ok??!!

What about you? What's your ONE little resolve for today/tomorrow?

[Jellyfish]

This is exactly what I was thinking about earlier tonight actually! Morning sickness has hit me big time and it has lead me towards using certain aids more frequently than usual (TV, mostly). Luckily, I guess, we have been without our car so have had to walk to do the shopping which gets us out of the house a bunch (can't do one big shop). Car comes back tomorrow but I think my one thing will be to walk to the shops anyway, it is only 15 minutes each way, good oppurtunity for exercise and to check out the surrounds, inspiration to chat about things we see, hear and we are definitely happier people after fresh air and a stroll.

Great post

[OceanPrincess]

Great thread. And we've all been there...

Tomorrow I'm taking the kids to visit a friend and I will take them to the park at her house. Instead of sitting inside her nice warm house and having a cuppa while they play, we will brave the cold and go to the park.

Thanks for posting. I know exactly what you mean about everyone being a lot happier when you make a few small changes...

[littlelara]

I will clear off our kitchen table and set out the ingredients, so that when dd gets home from school the three of us can don our new aprons (that they haven't seen yet) and make choc chip cookies.
I've been meaning to for ages, but tomorrow I WILL, and the cubs will be stoked.

[Santosha]

Yaaayy!! That's exactly what I hoped to read when posting this. Not only will my DD have stimulation and good company in the car tomorrow but now I know that other kiddlets are going to be having fun in the fresh air or having baking fun!

Lara, I know I only said one thing, but I'm taking your lead and I WILL bake with DD later in the week. Sounds like great fun.

Thanks ladies. oxox

[~Kim~]

Great thread Santosha. Feeling exactly the same way myself this week, with exactly the same thoughts for change, so this came at exactly the right moment.

Tonight after DS went to bed, DD and I played Monopoly together. Just her and I. She loved it, is learning about heaps (for anyone with an older child, Kids Monopoly is fantastic!), and I had a blast too. So much so that when DH rang (he works away) I wanted to get off the phone so I could concentrate

Tomorrow I am going to preschool for the day, but for the other bits I'm going to consciously speak like I want to speak, instead of being the cranky snappy mum I have been lately.

Baking on the kitchen table is a great idea Lara! Gets a bit shovey when everyone's on a chair at the bench.

[Roryrory]

Tomorrow I am not going to rush them. I will let us all take our time

[danita]

tomorrow im going to give my kids more cuddles with our busy schedules lately i havent really given many cuddles. i will also take more time to listen to each of the things they say and respond appropiately i have had a killer migraine for a few days and have wanted more quiet then anything.


thanks for this thread its awesome.

[sneakysparkle]

Great thread! Im with you 100%!!
For me - it will be saying "yes" a bit more to DD#1 (she's 4, and has ALOT of energy - both creative and physical!) and talking more with DD#2 (she can get a bit lost with her loud big sister around!)

A little saying has been going through my head lately too - a friend told me "Respond, don't react" so I will be trying to remember that too
Have a great day tomorrow everyone!!

[sarah85]

Love this thread!

Tomorrow I am not going to log in to FB or BB. It's getting to the point where I spend so much time on them both that I get cranky at DD when she wants my attention.
So, we will go out in to the backyard and play in her cubby house, and on the trampoline...and I am going to make a conscious effort not to be such a cranky Mummy!

[beckoes]

Love this thread!

Tomorrow I am not going to log in to FB or BB. It's getting to the point where I spend so much time on them both that I get cranky at DD when she wants my attention.
So, we will go out in to the backyard and play in her cubby house, and on the trampoline...and I am going to make a conscious effort not to be such a cranky Mummy!

SO TRUE!!! I will TRY to do this....but dont think i can go ALL day without just a little FB/BB time

great thread, ive been trying to be a better mummy this week too,

ive been struggling with keeping my cool lately, for a number of reasons, so when im angry or loosing it at dd about something...i make sure i do it in a whisper voice...its hard to get carried away when wispering!
monday dd and i had a terrible day, lots of tantrums and tears. so tuesday morning i announced that it was one of her teddies birthdays...so all day we did birthday party things, made party decorations in the morning, hats etc. baked cup cakes. set up the party out side, had a party lunch..with cupcakes..and played party games. i even got some quiet time after cause she was so happy that she carried on playing outside with the party stuff while i put my feet up. its was a lovely day, in the garden in the sun, having a laugh!
the next day was hard thought....how do you follow a party....we made a cubby house in the end, but she was pretty keen for another party

will make the effort to do something fun next week too!!

[~StarBright~]

Love this thread!

Tomorrow I am not going to log in to FB or BB. It's getting to the point where I spend so much time on them both that I get cranky at DD when she wants my attention.
So, we will go out in to the backyard and play in her cubby house, and on the trampoline...and I am going to make a conscious effort not to be such a cranky Mummy!

Whata good idea!! I am very guilty of telling DS to please stop climbing on me for a cuddle coz i cant see the computer!!! So time to log out!!! But i am glad i logged in to read this thread!!!

See everyone tomorrow!! :-)

[Heaven]

Great thread, I have been thinking the same. It's hard having a little baby sometimes and worrying about nap times and trying to get her to sleep and then when she is asleep trying to make sure DD1 doesn't wake her up. So for me I will try to relax and not worry about it. She will sleep when she's tired and DD needs me too. I will try to get out of the house once a day for a walk around the neighborhood because DD loves to explore and we could all do with a walk

[Lenny]

We've awoken to a big yellow thing in the sky that we haven't seen much of lately - still cold, but it just screams 'let's go outside'.
Wake up DS2, the big sunny world is awaiting...

[Santosha]

So how did you go Mummies? Was there baking and park visits and calm voices and logging off BB? Hope you all had great days.

Us? Unmitigated FAIL. Poor DD smacked her face on the side of the pool at her swimming lesson and remained teary and volatile for the remainder of the day - guessing she had a nasty headache or at least a sore nose. I tried being fun chatty Mummy in the car and was met with a scowl and a repeated 'music on please' until I realised that fun and engaging were not what she was after at that moment!

Ah well. There's still tomorrow. And many thousands of days after that!

Tomorrow's mission: no TV before we leave the house in the morning. I CAN get breakfast, pack bags etc with her participation, I just usually find it easier to distract her. I'm going to try hard to not get impatient and exasperated and get us out the door in a timely and CHEERFUL manner.

[OceanPrincess]

Oh Santosha That sounds pretty horrible. I'm sorry your day ended up not so great!

We took my heavily pg friend for a nice long walk to the park. Me and friend got a take away sandwich and coffee on the way and sat in the lovely wintery sunshine enjoying a char while DD ran amok on the play equipment and I fed DS grapes in the pram.

Then DS got out and had a little toddle about. We all loved it, I got to catch up with my friend and I even got an hour of peace when I got home after they fell asleep in the car and I managed to get them inside without waking them up!

Tomorrow... Well we have our new nanny coming over (starting back at work on Monday, boo) and I'm kicking myself out of the house so she can spend some time alone with the kids... So what can I do, hmm... Maybe spend some good time with them in the morning before nanny gets here. Yes that's a good one - I will not check FB, BB or tap zoo (ok I'm sad...) until I leave the house. We might even leave the TV off! See how we go.

[~StarBright~]

I did good, no facebook or Bb til later in the afternoon while the kids were napping!!! But it was hard!!! We read stories, did drawing and played and made a big mess!! I also wasnt as narky about the house as i have been (cleaning/tidying wise) so i soent time making mess with them instead of cleaning up!!!

Tomorrow i will try to do my morning checks on FB and BB and then leave it at that again!! :-)

Santosha.. sorry to hear about your DD, poor little thing

Good luck tomorrow everyone

[~Kim~]

It wasn't a fail Hun. She got what she needed. (hug)

I didn't do too badly. This afternoon almost disintegrated into blerch-ness. DD is sick, DS is sick, and I'm not much better, but I don't want to be cranky......I just need to figure out the 5yo psyche.
Oh and mental note to me - don't try a new technique to battle whining when that whining is quite obviously preceding a total meltdown, and you have a sick kid who can't work through the emotions of blowing her nose let alone anything more complex...oh well, lesson learned.

Tomorrow I will continue my quest, but I'm going to try the no rushing thing to add to it.....though I may need to get DD up in about an hour lol so she isn't late for school tomorrow lol. (JK BTW)