I have 1 daughter =) that I can tell is already a strong willed little thing =). but it is still early days for me yet, but would love to know what I'm up against in the future
N2L - I brought the book a few years ago. At the time, I again didn't feel that it did much to help me. What I did pull from it was how important Father/Daughter relationships are. As a Mother/Woman who grew up never knowing her birth father and having quite nasty step-father, I always knew how important a positive Father role plays in a girls/womans life. I am truely dreading the prepubescent stages as DD1 is already a highly emotional child. Add hormones to the mix and its going to be a roller coaster ride for everyone.
DP is a great Dad really. He has his moments, as do I, and he's had the opportunity to really form a good relationship with our girls while I studied full time and he stayed home with the girls.
I think DD1's issues go further than that and today I have re-visited the idea of taking her to see a child psychologist. I'd be interested to hear other perspectives on this.
DD1 is having issues at school with her learning and development as well as her behaviour. Her school only has 17 kids in it and they are all in the same class. B is the only child in the school who has the issues that she does and I have often thought that because of this, her issues are highlighted which I believe had added to her already anxious personality.
She has recently started re-wetting the bed. I think she must have went around 6 months without wetting the bed then a few months ago started wetting the bed and wetting herself where she sat - be it on the lounge, the bed or on the floor. This to me is alarming behaviour but I can't really pinpoint what would trigger it other than the issues at school.
My girls have the wrong age gap. Its a constant nightmare. DD1 bullies DD2 alot. Its not her & I've had enough. She's not a bully. She doesn't do it outside the house. Its just towards DD2. She refuses to do anything to help DD2 at all. Its constant bickering. 'She keeps looking at me'. Omg. And its all DD1.
But seeing that mention of dad's influence probably says the most to me.
You get there with lots of 'trials and errors'. Been there and come out the other end with I hope two balanced girls.
Here are a few things I used.
One thing I found was be as consistent as you can.
If they don't want to go somewhere and the rest of you go there then bad luck. They don't call the shots. You are the parent.
The 'house' rules applied for all until they finished school or got a job.
Keep and open channel for all communication, yes, sometimes you wanted to scream at the drivel and dramas but you could also read between the sentences
When the nasty talk starts amoungst their friends talk to them about it. How they feel etc. Does this type of talk help anyone?
Remember, what they hear and watch will influence their lives.
If they are asked to someones house, take them and introduce yourself to the parents.
Always know you will pick them up at any time of the night if they need. This happened a couple times and when asked if I was cross I could always honestly say 'no, I and not cross just tired'
I always tried to make afternoon tea a time of sitting and talking about their and my day.
I'm in - I have 2 girls who are also very different personality wise. Thankfully they currently get along and love love each other to bits because I don't know what I would do if I had to deal with anything more than their usual bickering!!
So far things have been smooth sailing with both my girls. They are very different in so many ways but they manage to make that work for them.
When I decided to start working in childcare this year I thought I would be more comfortable with working with girls because it is what I know. Buy was I shocked to find out just how wrong I was. Seeing 2-5 year old girls interacting scared me a bit, how mean, rude, spiteful and unpleasent they can be, not only to their friends but to others and adults. I figured it out quickly that boys will hit and say silly words like PooPoohead to each other but girls will say mean things to each other.
This made me become very consious of the way I talked to my DD's and how I let them talk to each other.
DD1 is going through a cry for everything stage. She does not throw tantrums though. I at first would say don't be a cry baby and quickly stopped because I was bullying my own child Now I tell her that she needs to calm down, stop crying and talk to me properly, 95% of the time it works.
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Now I tell her that she needs to calm down, stop crying and talk to me properly, 95% of the time it works.
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