As a mum who has already been through the initial stage of teenagehood I can tell you all it is very hard. I thought I had brought DD1 up as a reasonably confident young lady only to see that she decided to be a bit of a sheep and follow the bad crowd. She was caught drinking and smoking so at age 14 we had to get the contraceptive implant put in by our GP who also gave her the 3rd degree and told her how stupid she was being. We now have DS1 reaching preteen years and starting to branch out. His temper is foul and he takes it out on everyone. I still have 1 more DS to go and then 3 more DD's and I'm not sure if I can cope if they all end up like this. It really is an obstacle course navigating the teen and preteen years and you just have to be very flexible in your approach. Maintain the house rules and the respect that you require and hopefully they will get it sooner rather than later.