Ah, Ladylove. MadB is right. Everyone has BTDT. Everyone who's ever had a 9 week old, that is

My DS was like this with his day sleeps. I never did figure out the reason for his screaming. He just kind of stopped doing it every single sleep, then not every single day, then before I knew it a week or two would go by without any screaming at naptimes.

When he was little like your DD is, I had a few tricks up my sleeves. I too couldn't find a way to avoid the crying no matter what combination of things I tried. So I came up with ways to ease my stress and make life easier for myself instead.

-Use a sling wherever possible. I'd even pop him in there in the cradle hold and sleep sitting upright if I'd had no sleep and was going insane.
-Co-sleep if you feel the need, any time of day. If I wasn't in the mood for sitting upright holding DS while he snoozed for hours, I'd lie down with him. He would wake if I moved the tiniest bit, so I decided I'd take advantage of having to be so still and have a much needed sleep. Sometimes we'd spend two 3 hour blocks napping on the couch for days at a time.
- Build a nest. Have your favourite pillow/s, blanket, slippers, on hand wherever you find yourself sitting the most with bub. Other things I also had in my goody basket: Various remotes, my phone, a tablet pc (to chat on BB of course!), reading glasses, a cloth nappy in case of sudden spew incidents, something to drink, and I kept a small table nearby so I could keep anything I needed for DS close by. Dummies etc.
-Stay in your nest as much as you can on the hard days. At first I felt lazy for doing this. But then I remembered that while DP sleeps all night for an 8hr stretch or more, I was doing the marathon of night-feeds and wakings, sometimes getting up hourly or even less. So I cut myself some slack. Having a newborn is hard work, so give yourself plenty of time to just rest and cuddle with DD.
- The housework will wait. It really will. Mine did. In fact, some of it is still waiting for me. Yes, I transported a large basket of dirty linen etc when we moved house 4 months ago, and I still haven't gotten around to it. But whatever. I'm far too busy nurturing my baby to care about boring superfluous chores like that! (besides if I don't miss or know what's in the basket, can't I just throw it away??? lol) Basically, prioritize your chores into 3 categories. Hell yes, Maybe baby, and Hell no. Eg. Making sure there's at least one clean plate to eat from and a glass to drink from? Hell yes. Doing 3 weeks worth of built up laundry in one day? Hell no. Mopping the floor? Maybe, baby. Maybe I'll just sweep it and mop tomorrow. YKWIM.
- Follow DD's lead as much as possible. Try new things when you're feeling brave. Coocoon yourself in your nest when you're feeling drained and not up to a challenging day. If you're tired of the nest, take baby out for a walk, preferably past your favourite cafe so you can grab a coffee/hot chocolate/other comforting drink. Go easy on yourself!


That's about all I can think of for now. I hope there's something useful in there for you. These are just the things I did to get through some intense sleep-deprivation and prolonged bouts of wild screaming and unsettledness. Sometimes DS cried too. LOL, that was a joke. And remember, "This too shall pass". I chanted this for many months. It really did pass.