Hey, Have you thought about doing a Triple P Parenting program, this will help to teach you and her how to think and behave differently. It might help to just give you a little bit of a guideness to deal with this behaviour.
Another thing you might like to try is going to see a Child Health Nurse in your area, have a talk to them about the behaviour, they may be of some assistance to you.

And for you right now, it's not going to hurt her for you to walk away (Within the house) go have a shower, for five mins, and just calm down. Parenting is hard. And some days it feels like your getting no where. Could you call a friend and go out for a while?