But the fact is you have management techniques. And you can see the detriment. Some people can't. And it's not because they are bad people, or because they don't care. It's because they've never thought of it that way, and have never been shown an alternative.
That is why these discussions are SOOOOOO important. Not to point fingers, cast judgement or be condescending (and I'm not saying you are doing that, but sometimes these discussions can deteriorate in that way) but to share our own experiences and hopefully that helps someone. KWIM? Just as many times in the past I have gained SOOOOO much perspective and great coping techniques.
Bonus of being a thoughtful child to an abusive parent - I have spent lots of time thinking how my mother should do her job better, so therefore had some ideas when I became a parent - which were partly shaped by discussions here, I will not deny that. But I do agree with you - this is something that can (should) be done through chatting rather than through bad examples.
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