Something has to change...

[~TT40~]

...because I can't do this anymore.

On a good night, Spock will sleep for 3hr blocks. Normal is 2hrs. last night and the night before it was 1hr.

I have no idea why she keeps waking up!! I feel I've taken into account everything!! Normally we follow her cues, if she tells me she is tired we will have a nap etc... so that is our base/normal. but because that wasn't working i thought I would change stuff.
I have forced naps all day so she sleep more thinking that might help her sleep at night. nope. I have kept her awake thinking when she finally crashes that she will stay asleep. nope. I have stuffed her full of food in the evening thinking maybe its hunger. nope. I have put less stuff on her at night incase she was too hot. nope. I have put more stuff on her maybe she is cold? nope. I have not bf to resettle and rocked instead. nope.

NOTHING makes a difference. I fell I could cope with waking every 3 hours, but anything more than that I can't do. so I don't care if she doesn't sleep through the night. I just need atleast one longer block so i can get a good few hours.

we currently cosleep with a cot sidecared. Ive tried moving the cot away from the bed so they seperate. nope that was worse. but my next move is to move her into her own room. also doesn't matter if it is WW or if she has teeth/getting teeth, she still does it. during the day she is happy as pie, fun, easy going, playing, laughing etc... so wouldn't think it is pain? because wouldn't she been bothered during the day too??

my other issue is she has started to bite me. really hard. so feeding her to sleep is harder because now when she fights it she bites me. and that along with the DMER, I sit there in tears whilst bf...I don't want to stop feeding her. but its getting to the point it has crossed my mind.

I'm open to everything!!! I don't want her to CIO, only because it will make me feel worse than I do, and I want to make sure she enjoys sleep and knows it is a safe peaceful relaxing time, and not make it stressful. which is why I'm asking for help.

please throw anything at me! because I just can't do this anymore =(

[Artechim]

My kids have all done this and it totally sucks.

I would suggest separating out the feeding and sleeping ie stop feeding to sleep. I did this when my last was about 8 months and it did help a bit. It also means that you can go to bed early and leave DH to get her to sleep instead of having to wait up until she is sleepy itms. My third is now 16 months and just in the last few weeks is down to one or two wake ups (mostly because she is now getting molars. Joy.)

If you stop feeding to sleep for bedtime, then you can progress to not feeding when she wakes during the night. It is long yards walking them around to resettle during the night when you know they would go back to sleep in minutes if you feed them, but it does help. I walked DD around and accepted grizzling but if she got actually upset then I gave up and fed her.

I don't have much advice really, just a bucketload of sympathy xx

[MrsFabuloso]

My LO's only ever bit me when they were teething. Maybe she's getting teeth. Have you tried giving a dose of panadol about 15 mins or so before bed time?
Is she learning alot at the moment? Like is she starting to crawl or sit up or 'talking' more? Maybe a wonder week/stormy period (google wonder weeks if you have no idea what I'm talking about!). Whist not a solution, sometimes an explanation helps deal with the sleepless-ness.
Maybe an illness you can't see- ears/throat, maybe a trip to the doc is in order?
Do you go to sleep with her, as in at the same time? I used to do that because I knew I would be up very often to one or the other of my kids, so I was in bed at 7.30 with the kids, to make sure that I got enough sleep. Although very broken, I was usually getting at least 5-ish hour.
Big hugs hun. I know the pain of kids that don't sleep. I've had 3 of them. And TBH, I never found a solution, I'm sorry to say Some people just don't sleep well!

[~TT40~]

when ive given pain relief it hasnt made a difference =(, still will wake up and hr or 2 later...

[Three Graces]

just something I didn't think of earlier - my kids have had sore ears/teething pain which has only affected them at nighttime. They were usually happy during the day and then cranky pants at night. Not sure why? It took me ages to take one of them to the GP once and I felt so guilty, b/c they were fine during the day. I think when they're up and learning to move around and interacting, they can be distracted, but at night and lying down, the pain is worse and they haven't got anything else to focus on. Anyway, just a thought.

[HotI]

My kids have done it too, First got a 5 hour block of sleep from DD at 15 months. DS has had a few night when he has had a decent sleep, but we are doing the 2 hour dance atm, and have been for a few months. my solution is to bedshare/cosleep which gets me through but my irritability level is pretty high lately.

Will she take a bottle? Can your partner do a couple of late night shifts so you can get a good block of sleep a couple of days in a row?

[~TT40~]

one of her ears has had a bit of wax on the outside the last few days. think that could be something?
thing is it has been like this for months. except for the 2 nights we stayed at my parents iver xmas. she hat a 5hr block one night and a 6hr the next. so makes me think its environmental here.

also ill feed her to sleep and she sleeps quickly but whenever i move her to bed shevwakes up and cries (quickly becomes hysterical). ive tried not putting her back on and singing and patting etc. never works.

[HotI]

Yeah, that's why DS is in my bed after the first feed. Could never get the transfer to work for me. They know, they always know.

[AndiE]

Could you try sleeping her on her tummy? It may not work if she's not used to it and you're trying to put her down for the night, but if she wakes from a sleep and is in that "in between" awake and asleep stage, she may settle easily. At her age I'd imagine her neck/shoulders are strong and she moves her head easily, so tummy sleeping shouldn't be a problem (having said that, many don't like the idea ... so you need to do what you're comfortable with).

I often think chiropracters work wonders on babies ... might be worth a try to see if something is out of alignment and causing your DD issues during sleep.

Otherwise, I'd throw something different at her. Try moving her into her room, to see what happens. Could you feed her before bed, and then get DH to put her down. I'd expect some crying, but to me it sounds like she's seeking out comfort from you. Which is fine, until you don't get any sleep.

Hugs hun. Babies who don't sleep make life very difficult for their mummies. Go easy on yourself xx

[Arcadia]

It's very normal for babies to do this at 8-9 months. I seriously wish there was a solution, but tbh I found I just had to ride it out and things improved on their own.

Can you bed share or nap in the day or go to bed earlier? I know people talk about sleep deprivation with a nb but for me I needed waaaay more help at the 9 month mark to help me through the night wakings.

Not much help sorry, but I have the philosophy of change myself not the baby because I can control my own actions and behaviors but babies cannot control theirs.

[OceanPrincess]

If you think it is environmental, have you tried getting down to her level to see what she is seeing? Maybe a light is shining in her eyes? A pillow blocking her sight? Too much/not enough noise?

Hugs Hun, go easy, it is so tough when you have a non-sleeper... I've had two with a possible third now...

[MrsFabuloso]

What about allergies or food sensitivities?

[forshelby]

First of all, have a thousand of these.

I have been there.... I stayed there for a very very long time. I know you're tired, so I'll keep it simple.

Some things I introduced around the time I was losing my ability to function on such broken sleep are:

- The end of co-sleeping. It wasn't working anymore, and I think it was my breathing and movements waking him some of the time. He went into his own room in his cot quite easily. He was ready!
- A nightlight.
- Soothing music (or even just the radio)
- A teddy to cuddle

I continued to feed him if he woke during the night. I still do this now, and he's 22mths..... But hey, mama's gotta sleep if she can function at work. So whilst I get that he doesn't 'need' the milk, I figure it doesn't do either of us any harm to allow it.

Good luck. These phases do pass. I know it's awfully hard, but you can get through it. Just take it one hurdle at a time. And remember - you're the boss!

[misty]

one of her ears has had a bit of wax on the outside the last few days. think that could be something?
thing is it has been like this for months. except for the 2 nights we stayed at my parents iver xmas. she hat a 5hr block one night and a 6hr the next. so makes me think its environmental here.

also ill feed her to sleep and she sleeps quickly but whenever i move her to bed shevwakes up and cries (quickly becomes hysterical). ive tried not putting her back on and singing and patting etc. never works.

definitely get her checked for ear infection, they can be so easily missed and yet so easily solved.

[Amaunet]

I stopped feeding on wake ups. I offered water and still cuddled/rocked but didn't bf and found this really helped. I don't bf for any wake up before 4am, just an arbitrary time, but its helped a lot.

[~TT40~]

op ~ I did try and lay her in different position down in the cot, but never thought to lay down on it myself and see what she sees, thanks! i will try that

3littlemonkeys ~ that could be it... but so much stuff we would have to take into consideration. DH said its coffee that i drink...which ofcourse makes it my fault so i feel worse. so ive commited to not have any in the after noon. see if that makes a difference...

Chody ~ I do wait and see how she goes, if i can hear her moving i dont do anything. thing is she then sits herself up, and starts crying. I do only tend to her if she is crying.

Pholi ~ this will hopefully be easier when she is in her own room. will give us a chance to adjust a few things. see how it works.

Amaunet ~ what age did you do this? Spock is 7 1/2 months. is she too young for me to start limiting bf?

thanks girls!

EDIT!! it appears I missed half of you =(

AndiE ~ if she goes on her tummy she automatically sticks her bum in the air and tries to sit herself up. it is rather annoying cause I tried a few times to get her on her tummy thinking she might settle for longer...

ForShelby ~ I dont feel I could deny her bf... with the teddy thing. I did read the no cry sleep solution and tried to do the 'lovely' idea. but she didn't take to the toy I tried to get her assosiated with sleep. she does have a toy she is in love with, am i better off using a toy she already loves, or bringing in a completely new one, cause hopefully she would get sleep assossiation with it.

Arcadia ~ i do nap when she does =) only way i am surviving

[forshelby]

I use a variety of teddies. It took a long time for DS to choose a favourite, but it's not so much about which teddy he has- as long as there's something nearby to cuddle. Right now, cookie monster is the fave. I change it up when they need a wash.

I bottle fed from early on so it was a bit different for me- but I also offer water if I think he might be 'milking it' lol so to speak. I've had mixed results with that one.

Keep us posted.

[AnyDream]

Definitely take her to the GP and get her checked out, in case there is an underlying infection. Also suss out the possibility of reflux to rule that out.

I took my DD to sleep centre around this age, similar issue except in our case she would sleep from 35-55 mins then wake. My sleep deprivation was so severe after a couple of months that I was hallucinating during the day. Several things: her weight gain had plateau'd, so they recommended I feed her differently. Not more food, but more energy dense foods. Eg add a bit of grated cheese or butter or full cream milk to the food I was preparing and a bit more protein. Also, they had me start offering the 3rd boob, eg when they are feeding well during the day and have had both boobs, you can either offer them the 1st boob again or let them play for a little while and then offer the 1st boob again. Letting them have a good long comfort suck at those feeds in the day when you have the time and space for it can help with this as well.

They also got me to give her a dream feed (except it was never really a dream feed, she would wake) around 10-11pm, then no more boobie until after 5-6 am. This helped break the wake-boobie association, while still providing sufficient "overnight" feeds to meet her nutritional needs.

I believe these 2 measures helped enormously. My DD's pattern was really badly entrenched, it had been going on for the better part of 5 months. I had exhausted ever other method several times over so we did some controlled comforting - not a CIO method, but not an attachment method either. At the same time I experimented with music and lighting (darker or lighter, nightlights, etc) until I got the right amount of light for me to resettle her without it disturbing her. I don't think any one thing fixed it, it was the combination of everything working together. I know the sleep centres are not for everyone, but it did provide me with a supportive environment to make the changes that were needed to turn a corner. Hopefully you will be able to resolve this with some simple measures, but if you can't, don't be afraid to seek out some assistance.