These would be things I would never say to my daughter or daughter-in-law since my MIL has some funny (not haha funny) comments she likes to make.
"Be careful what you wish for" after I was complaining to my mum about pregnancy aches and pains
avoid calling my grandchild by their name because I don't like it - my MIL has only just started regularly calling DS Noah. He's almost 3 and she still struggles to say his name, and doesn't hide the fact she doesn't like it.
When I was leaking breastmilk in the early weeks with DS. "Oh yuk, I don't know how you do it and it smells awful" - MIL recalling her breastfeeding experience that lasted 2 weeks with her first and refused to BF her next 2 because she thought it was disgusting.
"You haven't started TT him yet? All mine were done by 2, are you going to be dropping him off to school in nappies?" - another MIL snarky comment. There's a hundred of them with regards to our choice to use MCN's and about TT.
Mainly I will ask my children if they need help and what kind of help and be as supportive as possible. I don't have that. My mum lives 3 hours away and works full time so she can't help me out. My MIL is not supportive in any way. Everything we do is wrong because it's not the way she did it and it drives me batty. To be told occasionally that you're doing a good job would be nice.
I will never ever focus my 'eye' on my children's weight. I have spent my entire life having my weight thrown in my face, being told how much of a better person I would be if I lost the weight, how I should exercise more, throw up more, starve myself more because if I do more people will like me. More people need to focus on whats on the inside, not the outside, and I dont want my girls to think their happiness begins and ends with their weight.
Actually lets just make it two more;
'A girl cant do that or this, or a woman cant do' I never want my girls to think they cant do something because of their gender alone. Dh and I dont want to stereotype them because of gender into things they like, should like, can and cant do, etc.
Things I will never say to my son, daughter, child-in-law or grandchildren:
I wish you had never been born/I wish I had never had you.
I hate my children.
No, you're wrong, you don't feel like that.
You don't want to do anything the way you want to, so I'll go out my way to ensure you do things the way I want you to which is detrimental to your health.
You should make more of an effort with your father, he just isn't good at showing that he cares or even caring.
From someone who has an older daugher than most on here:
"I just want you to meet a nice man so you can be happy" - umm mum, I *am* happy. I don't need a man to make me happy. They're icing, they're not the cake. My daughter has been with her partner for 3 years, but I tell her all the time that she is not defined by being part of a couple. She could easily take care of herself and be happy without a partner, and she should only stay with her partner because she wants to, not because she has to.
"Why aren't you getting dinner out for your husband?" - because he has hands and is not crippled or disabled and unable to feed himself. My daughter is a giver, and she supports her DP, his father and a household on her wage. She does plenty without being expected to serve men like they're invalid.
"You look like you've gained/lost weight' - I must have missed that split second when I was the perfect weight for you, mum, coz I never seem to be just there. I never refer to my daughter's weight. Ever. Coz I just don't notice. She is perfect, all the time.
"Your house is always a mess" - it is not. That's a lie. But the insinuation my mum likes to make is that because I work full-time, I don't have time to do the 'important' things like keep my house so spotless, you could eat off the floor, like she does. When I visit my daughter, I clean for her. And she apologises, and I tell her, you work all day, cleaning is the last thing you should be worrying about when you get home. Shut up and go rest. If I was working as much as you, I wouldn't be wasting my free time cleaning either.
"when are you getting married?" - how about never? I never ever talk about marriage with my daughter. Buying a house, yes, getting a better job perhaps, for sure! But not marriage. That is something no one should be pressured into, and to be honest, I don't think you need to be married these days to be considered 'respectable'. That sort of mentality is archaic. If she decides to marry because she wishes to make that public commitment, good on her, and I'll cry at her wedding, but her partner is already as good as my son, they don't need a piece of paper if they don't want it.
I'm sure there's more but those are the ones that get my goat the most probably.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks