Things I will never say to my daughter...

[Zee]

"while you are under my house you are under my rules. When you have your own house you can live however you want" because invariably my mother is not happy regardless of how i live my life in my own house under my own rules.

omg yes!!!

[Zee]

Well I could write down all the helpful things my FIL tells me but I would be here all day.... He sure has a lot to say for someone that walked out on his kid at a early ago and now 18yrs later wants to be a dad.

My mother annoys me with her constant "yep you did that" when I'm telling her something my kids have done that isn't do favorable. Or the "Thats no good" when I told her I'm meant to be on complete bed rest. You wouldn't think she lives one street up from me, doesn't work and does nothing all day. Thanks for the offer of help.

[Gigi]

for shelby - OMG, after what you went thru, to have your mum be that selfish AS WELL, blimey, OMG.

naenae - those lines sound so familiar, i think our mums are twins

there were other posts i wanted to comment on too, but now i can't remember

my MIL was too far away, too unwell (dementia) to be part of my life when i had bilby
my M was not part of my life when i had bilby, due to her abuse of me, we have no contact

bilby already has asked me, "will you teach me how to be a mummy, when i have a baby? when i grow up?". i hope i can remember when the time comes, as an older mum, i really will be old when she has a child. I hope BB or forums similar, will be happening then.

we are creating our own family, her and me. I don't have a positive role model to copy, so i'm making it up as i go along. all i know is that i have a clear role model of what NOT to do to my child (e.g violence and abusive comments that never leave your head, like a tattoo, as someone else already put). i go thru things everyday, as a result of the abuse i survived as a child (from 6 - 17). I will do everything in my power to make sure my DD doesn't go thru that, and as a result, doesn't have to counter that behaviour, in order to parent herself.

i did not get any M or MIL support when i had bilby, ever. My gift to bilby will be support during pregnancy, during birth and post birth.

sushee - i know there was something in your post that resonated with me, can't recall now.